by stuckinarut2 75 Replies latest jw friends
when i fully woke up, i realized that i was stuck and now had to find a way out. i am still trying to find the door to this hotel california.
i hope i am able to come out with my marriage in tack. baby steps i guess. i envy those whose partners woke up with them.
cheers
None of what you listed, except their focus on money, meant anything to me.
It was the inaction of God and their control issues.
How it makes one feel?
When people became JWs, the feeling was that we have something new and better.
When people leave JWs the feeling is that we now have something new and better.
I felt like my world had crashed. I was sick to my stomach, depressed, and scared at first. That turned to anger and a bit of hopelessness as I realized that I was trapped. Angry that I could be shunned by almost my entire social circle and family for simply disagreeing. Angry at the thought that my marriage would be destroyed. And, really angry at myself for being so stupid to fall for it as hard as I did.
I was a born-in, and came to TTATT fairly slowly and gently. My first reaction, when I knew, as a lover of Truth, I simply had to walk away from the Tower of Lies, was one of sadness, my family, life-time friends, even my wife, were all in it, and I knew what was coming my way in the way of ostracism etc.
The sadness came, I now clearly see, from the sudden realisation that I had wasted my life, and that now, in my late Fifties I would have to try to build a new life, maybe without my beloved wife.
Later came anger, when I found out that the JW/WT Org had known for many, many years they were teaching lies, that their whole edifice was built upon lies.
Eventually came the wonderful feeling of true freedom,and very quickly, for the first time in my life, I began to feel HAPPY !
I was happy that at last I could be the REAL me !
I left before finding out about all the scandals and lies. I mainly left because of the hypocrisy and condescending judgmental attitudes of the typical witness.
When I visited this site and learned the real truth behind the organization I was a little sadden. I will admit I had some hope their was a magical truth out there and that I didn't waste a good portion of my childhood. But now I'm thankful I woke up in my late teens. So many here gave up 40, 50, and even more years of their life. I have no room to complain compared to most of you.
I was wondering if it is ever possible for someone to "unlearn" TTATT, or overlook it.
What I mean is, how do those who KNOW many aspects of the "truth about the truth", still choose to accept that the organisation is "gods channel"?
Some have had huge "what the hell?!" moments of realisation, and yet still don't allow themselves to wake up....
I felt depressed, emotional and confused. But all was replaced (eventually!) with a feeling of freedom, joy and elation.
Life after JW land is great - but to be fair it can take a while to get there...
Did you feel Shocked? Betrayed? Lost? Doubtful? Etc...
Yes.
After 5 years I have a mixture of feelings. Indifference toward the JWs and I sometimes think; 'Ah, they're generally nice people, if it makes them happy, so what?' Then I think of the governing body conning these 'nice people' and I spit blood. I want to see the GB executed for crimes against humanity. Depends on my mood now.
I cried about my lost life in the name of Jehovah.
Then I got angry.
And now I am determined to get this cult the exposure it deserves 😉
