Hi Llama
I see you are from Merseyside.
So am I. Also ex -JW.
Whereabouts on Merseyside?
If you want to tell me you can send me a message. Privately on here.
Click on my name and go to "send message".
Some advise for a stranger to JWs
by Llama 14 Replies latest social relationships
-
-
joannadandy
I am not sure how far your relationship has progressed, some mentioned her as a girlfriend, are you two at that level or just thinking of taking it there based on mutual attraction?
If at all possible (again not sure how far you've walked down the relationship path) stay at the friend level a while. She could be looking for a way out. A non-jw boyfriend provides such an out. But it's not the right way to go if she really wants out.
Be there for her, explain to her there are other ways to view the world we live in besides through a JW lens.
I wouldn't push the relationship, that is just too much pressure. And if she does leave the JW's it's for a worldly boy and they preach against that until they are blue in the face. In which case, god forbid, you two break up--they were right all along, and you were a horrible worldly guy who lured her away and all that tripe. It's bogus, we all may know that--but before you know it she is lulled back in.
I guess I am jumping 15 steps down the line. First things first ask her what she really wants--you out of the picture--does she want to be done with being a JW...then help her achieve that then work on a relationship.
If she wants to stay a JW--you had better leave things alone and not persue a relationship, because no good will come of it for either of you.
I wish you much luck.
-
Gadget
Llama, you have a pm.
-
Maverick
My daughter is 19, beautiful, world traveled and never baptized and the duds shun her! So just because the J-duds say something about their god the WatchTower Society does not make it so! My ex does not speak to her daughter and the Witlesses who run into her around town treat her as if she is the second biggest apostate in town! Why, you may ask? She never has done anything to them but be nice. She lives with me! These people are very fearful. They are afraid of everyone and everything OUTSIDE their little world. They call out Jehovah's name like a good luck charm to protect them. The WTS wants them that way! Tread lightly my friend! Maverick
-
La Capra
Llama, If she has not been baptized and she is 22, then she does not have the choices of people to be with that you may think. First of all, since she is unbaptized, she is unsuitable dating material for any of the men in the congregations. They would either know this status or check this status with the congregation before asking her to go out in service with them. Also 22 is pretty old with JWs not to be married yet. Because she is not yet baptized, she probably isn't committed to it-but still heavily conflicted about it- which was why she was so upset telling you about it. She is a BAD JW, driving to see you on weekends, and speaking to you on the phone. She is living a very compartmentalized personal life-very dangerous and unhealthy. You very well may be her only "friend" in or out of the religion, since at her age, unbaptized, she is probably treated as a "sub-member". Perhaps you wish to save her from this cult-a noble thing, for sure-gently making her aware of her sub-status, inner conflict and her real hopes of "finding true love" in the religion would probably go farther than any other thing. But be aware that she may lose her entire family (except her brother) if they are all JWs-but maybe not. It was a person who was Buddhist who was able to get me to see the inconsequentiality of the JWs (or any religion) as far as having true spirituality and faith are concerned. Can't format-still, Shoshana