I’m finally (after about six weeks) starting to feel hopeful again. It has been a horrible time for me. I talked to an old friend who I trust about my feelings; about Calvinism. My daughter goes to the same church (Baptist) he goes to, and I was really concerned that they might also believe in Calvinism. I understand it’s more the Southern Baptists that do. Basically what his church believes in I believe in. I know there may always be little things that we might disagree with but is that really important, as long as we can agree with the major doctrines. I do have a need to belong to a community. I will take it very slow though. My friend says that there are many people that go there that were totally disillusioned by religion so I will totally fit in. I do wonder how many people who have stopped believing in God because a religion has betrayed them. I felt totally betrayed, even by my counsellor because she was a Calvinist (unbeknownst to me) and for the past few months faith was the only thing we talked about. She recommended that I go to this Bible Study at her church (where I learned about Election etc) Through the past 14 years I’ve had these nagging feelings but I pushed them aside, thinking that I had a commitment problem (becoming a member-being baptized etc). If I had gone with my gut feelings (not what I wanted to do, but what I felt was right) I wouldn’t be where I am but maybe in time I will learn why I had to go through this. Maybe it had some value. Maybe in a way God speaks to us through our gut (or whatever you want to call it), but we choose to ignore it.
Almost forgot. While looking for Caspians history I came across Calvinist2's name. It seems that this person and maybe about 3 or 4 other Calvinists hit this board about a year ago. That was rather interesting. Had I only become a member 3 months earlier I may have read it and realized it sooner. But then I was probably not ready to hear about their "troof".
http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/12/41829/1.ashx
(if this doesn’t work, it’s on page 55 - 4 th from bottom - in Beliefs, Doctrines & Practices)
I won’t be here too much during the holidays, with work and everything. I do want to wish everyone a
"Wonderful Christmas"