Not giving the org a bad name

by seattleniceguy 14 Replies latest jw friends

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  seattleniceguy

  I've been out of the org in mind for three months (formally for only two weeks) but I find that I often feel that old familiar impulse to supress myself if I start to say something that could be construed as negative to the organizaton. Do you still feel that? Like, I might hesitate to tell my neighbor that I didn't associate with my dad for six years because of the DF/DA policy. Then I catch myself and think, Who am I trying to protect here?

  Strange how deeply ingrained that conditioning can be....How about you all?
• 

  Sassy

  I was that way for a while. I think because first I was just inactive, then when I decided not to go back, I still made that choice that I did it because I chose not to be a JW, but not because I thought they were not the true religion. So out of a habit of respect for what I had thought was Jehovah's organization, I didn't.

  But the thing is, over a period of time I have seen the hypocrasy's since and no longer feel it is the 'true religion and only path to God'... so now I wouldn't feel the same. Now I don't worry if the WTS is given respect, because I have lost respect for it.
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  Valis

  Not odd at all and welcome to the forum!..It may not just be the society you have a hard time speaking against. There is always the thought that all of the people you have cared about are the embodiment of the society itself. So, if you are speaking ill of the society then they get bunched up in there too. AND for the most part, no one likes bad mouthing people they still have love and compassion for. You just have to be able to spearate those you know are good, but still good JWs all the same, from the WTBTS as a whole. Welcome again!

  Sincerely,

  District Overbeer
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  acsot

  Don't sweat it, it's a normal part of re-wiring your brain! That's an automatic knee-jerk response brought on by years of dub brainwashing. Those feelings will gradually fade, the more distance you get from the borg. Good luck!
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  Scully

  Hi, SNG, and welcome!

  Your feelings are perfectly natural. Like Valis says, sometimes it's hard to separate the Organization from the people in it.

  Sometimes it helps to look at the situation the way I have been known to describe the child sexual abuse issue within the Organization: If we don't speak out about the problem and try to cover it up for the sake of Not Bringing Reproach On The Organization Jehovah?, we are not solving anything. We don't help the survivors, we don't protect potential victims, and the perpetrators are allowed to continue what they do with impunity. However, is it the act of "speaking out" that causes the reproach? or is it not the act of child sexual abuse that is reproachful? When you separate the actions and behaviour of individuals from the organizational "umbrella", it is a lot easier to cast off that fear of "making the Organization look bad".

  The fact that the Organization would prefer to sweep these kinds of atrocities under the carpet, shows how they want to control your sense of right and wrong and pervert justice from being done.

  Love, Scully
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  PurpleV

  I was in therapy for FIVE YEARS and refused to talk about the religion because of that reproach thing.

  What a waste of money! Had to do it all over again when I found out the 'truth about the truth.'
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  SpunkyChick

  That is sooooo normal. I went through that period. Just keep on with your post-JW research; as that's what helped me the most, along with a lil' ol' helpful chatboard.
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  Swan

  When I was a child it was all about "not giving Jehovah a bad name." Throughout the years it started morphing into "not giving Jehovah's organization a bad name." Ten years ago I DAed. Has it finally finished morphing into "not giving the organization a bad name" or is this just an anomaly?

  Tammy
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  Leolaia

  Then I catch myself and think, Who am I trying to protect here? Strange how deeply ingrained that conditioning can be....How about you all?

  This is a very different experience of mine, but it also made me realize how deeply ingrained my conditioning as a dub was. I was having Thanksgiving dinner with a Jewish family, almost a decade after I left the Society, and their great-aunt was there. She is a Holocaust survivor, still has her serial number tatoo on her arm. Anyway, a bunch of us were at the table talking about the Holocaust, and I felt a real connection with them -- feeling this connection because, subconsciously, I felt that "my people" were sent to those concentration camps as well. And then I suddenly realized what I was feeling and was floored -- because I had nothing to do with the Witnesses for almost 10 years, there was no "my people" to speak of, and definitely did not think of myself as a Witness, yet I was feeling a deep connection with them because of a non-existent shared connection with the Holocaust. Hearing all those Gestapo stories as a kid can really do that to you.

  Leolaia
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  DanTheMan

  I have had the tendency to come off sounding bitter when I talk about JW's, people don't like a sob story or whining.

  I rarely talk about JW's outside of this forum. Most people couldn't care less about our cult experience.