Leolaia~
What a throught-provoking, beautifully expressed post with which to begin a thread! Makes me wish LT was around.
"Seeking Jesus"...
As a JW I only had the vaguest and most distant sense of who Jesus may have been, with no feeling of personal connection or relationship or current reality at all. And the God to whom I found myself praying seemed always to be revealing Him/Herself to my mind and heart as being quite different from the One about whom I was being taught.
After I left the JW path, I explored a variety of other religious beliefs and practices, eventually feeling most at home with a very experimental, exploratory, eclectic pagan-type path of my own construct, based greatly on inclinations that were strongly present throughout my childhood in spite of my careful and closed-off 4th-generation JW upbringing. I had no interest in Jesus or Christianity at all and did not seek for him out of either historical curiosity or spiritual need. Nor did I have anything against him, feeling that if he existed he has probably been grossly misunderstood and misrepresented for the most part.
But then something happened, during just this past month or so, with which I have yet to come to terms. For whatever reason, I have experienced...well...it seems Jesus revealed (and is continuing to reveal) himself to me, and I'm a bit mind-boggled. I did not expect this, nor did I seek for him by name or concept, but here he is, and it's truly amazing. Still not sure what to make of it though. In fact, I think I feel almost embarassed to confess it. It was quite a surprise and didn't quite fit in where I thought I was headed in my spirituality.
~Merry