Withholding Emotion.... (page 2)

A Paduan

It's the reason I post here - jw neighbours moved in and appeared to us so cold in their actions that it was unnatural for human behaviour as we had known it, ever before - freaky.

Their women exchanged natural relations for unnatural, and the men likewise gave up natural relations with women and were consumed with passion for one another, men committing shameless acts with men and receiving in their own persons the due penalty for their error.

Spiritually, I don't believe that is a teaching about sex.

gumby

How can a faith in a god.....be stronger than the love a parent has for it's beloved child? How could a mother who dearly loves her daughter so much, that the thought of losing her in someway would devastate her beyond her endurance..........willfully shun her?

Her belief is stronger than her love is it not? How could it be? Is it selfishness? Is it selfish because the shunner is afraid of losing their own life if they disobey god and refuse to shun? I guess it is! Odd.....isn't it? How can a faith overide a powerfull love? I wish I knew.

Gumby

codeblue

Scully:

Thanks for the info.

Shunning for any reason is very unchristian.

Even while I was in good standing as a JW. it seemed like I was shunned when my ex left me (even though he was df'd for being very adulterous). I suddenly had no association at the KH and when the elders came for a visit (cause they thought I was having problems they told me that : I needed to find my associations even though I was so lonely...(whmmmmmmm where would I find it??? not at that KH)

My 3 JW sisters....well...let's put it this way...didn't show me the concern I should have had...because as I child they were jealous of the attention my parents showed me..: yeah I am the baby.

As a result..nobody showed up to my 2nd wedding...and he was a JW (whose ex-wife left him for adulterous reasons)...and almost 4 years later nobody has met my new husband. Jeez...where is the LOVE???

Our neighbors in California were shocked to find out we were JW's : becaus...we acted like normal caring people...

WELL..now they know are faith is doubted in the JW's....we are always welcomed at their house...even though we were JW's we were always welcomed there....even though the Jw's didn't show hospitality...Guess you might say we both know how shunning feels without the df'd label.

Codeblue

seattleniceguy

ascot:

gumby: Very interesting ideas. Perhaps fear is the strongest motivator humans have? Even stronger than parental love? I would like to do some reading on that.

A Paduan: My God. That is a stunning way to apply that scripture. Wow.

Wow.

SNG

PS. Don't know if Paul was really trying to say that, but it's powerful nonetheless.

blondie

I read this and agree that if there is a foundation for the hope of a healthy relationship, don't shun. But what about cases of abusive friends and/or family?

What if your parent is an active abuser and attacks you every time you are near? I find in that situation is necessary to unplug from them.

I hope that made sense.

Blondie

Lady Lee

Blondie I have had that thought too. I have decided that for me the difference is that shunning as a religion practice is done as a punishment. It is coersive and manipulative behavior to get someone to conform to a certain standard of behavior. The same goes in some families who use the "silent treatment" to get what they want.

Avoid abusers is smart self-defence. I have no desire to change the behavior of an abuser. I just want to be left alone by them.

lisaBObeesa

Her belief is stronger than her love is it not? How could it be? Is it selfishness? Is it selfish because the shunner is afraid of losing their own life if they disobey god and refuse to shun? I guess it is!

Gumby, this is so true!

And I was was thinking, not only is shunning selfish, but the whole JW religion is all about saving your own @ss. Nothing is done out of real love.

-LisaBObeesa

A Paduan

That's why there's no cross - there's no breadth to that love / no others - it has developed to symbolise 'jehovah' and 'moi'

Sentinel

Continuously suppressing a valid emotion will make one physically ill. This is one thing that I had to learn to accept when I got out....that it was all right to express my emotions. Listening to one's own conscience is a wonderful connection, but for a long time, I lived according to what other people dictated...the borg, my mom. I lost my "self"

For a long time after getting "out" , I was quite unsettled with how to "feel". Thankfully, I have healed myself in that area and feel comfortable being "myself" now.

/<

Sunnygal41

I hope my ex and my sister both saw that show, my ex, because he was an emotionless excuse for a husband, and my sister, because I want her out of that hateful organization!

Terri

Withholding Emotion....

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