Girl Poem

by peaceloveharmony 10 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  peaceloveharmony

  Girl Poem

  I shave my legs,
  I sit down to pee.
  And I can justify any
  shopping spree.

  Don't go to a barber,
  but a beauty salon.
  I can get a massage
  without a hard-on.

  I can balance the checkbook,
  I can pump my own gas.
  Can talk to my friends
  about the size of my ass.

  My beauty's a masterpiece,
  and yes, it takes long.
  At least I can admit,
  to others when I'm wrong.

  I don't drive in circles,
  at any cost.
  And I don't have a problem
  admitting I'm lost.

  I never forget,
  an important date.
  You just gotta deal
  with it,I'm usually late.

  I don't watch movies,
  with lots of ! gore.
  Don't need instant replay
  to remember the score.

  I won't lose my hair,
  I don't get jock itch.
  And just because I'm assertive,
  Don't call me a bitch.

  Don't say to your friends,
  Oh yeah, I can get her.
  In your dreams, my dear,
  I can do better!

  Flowers are okay,
  But jewelry's the best
  Would you look at my face
  Not at my chest!

  I don't have a problem,
  With expressing my feelings.
  I know when you're lying,
  You look at the ceiling.

  Don't call me a girl,
  A babe, or a chick.
  I am a WOMAN,
  Get it, you prick?
• 

  peaceloveharmony

  another email i got from a good friend, wanted to share with you all

  love
  harmony

  "Power doesn't mean you're acting like a man, or you're a bully or a bitch. It's that you don't let people step on you"
  -Sharon Monplaisir
• 

  Seeker

  Excellent!

  P.S. I'd point out the inconsistency between the title stating it's a "Girl" poem and the final stanza, but I'd get my head handed to me.
• 

  peaceloveharmony

  haha seeker, i didn't even think of that..LOLOL

  going to change it now...
• 

  VeniceIT

  HAHAHA OMG that is too funny Harm, and ya you might want to change the title hahah!!

  Ven
• 

  peaceloveharmony

  okay, actually i'm not gonna change it. it's okay for a chick to call another chick a girl
• 

  Seeker

  [plh, you inspired me to compose an appropriate reply, not necessarily the opinion of the author...*ahem*]

  Man Poem

  I shave my face,
  I can stand and pee.
  And I can justify any
  cartoon spree.

  Don't go to salons,
  but old world barbers.
  I can get a massage
  and forget about hers.

  I fill up the checkbook,
  she makes me pump the gas.
  Can talk to my friends
  about the view of that ass!

  My manhood's a masterpiece,
  and yes, it is long.
  And there's never a need,
  to admit when I'm wrong.

  I don't drive in circles,
  at any cost.
  That's mainly because,
  I'm never really lost.

  I sometimes forget,
  an important date.
  You just gotta deal
  with it, it's a man's fate.

  I love watching movies,
  with sex, blood, and gore.
  I need instant replay
  to treasure that score.

  I'm losing my hair,
  I do get jock itch.
  But don't you remind us,
  or we'll call you a bitch.

  Don't say to your friends,
  Oh yeah, I can change him.
  In your dreams, my dear,
  not even a whim!

  Gifts are okay,
  But dinner's the best
  Don't look at my face
  while I check out your chest!

  I don't have a problem,
  With expressing my feelings.
  Just look at my crotch,
  to see where I'm leaning.

  Don't call me a boy,
  A dude, or a hick.
  I am a MAN,
  Get it, you chick?
• 

  peaceloveharmony

  seeker! ROTFLMAO thanks great
• 

  nojw86

  PLH HA HA HA that was really good. And they said if I left the truth, well you guys know, nojw having more fun as of lately . < being an exJw ain't so bad > LOL
• 

  digderidoo

  Nice one seeker!

  Yours dig

  Think not about trying to add days to your life, but instead think about adding life to your days.