This is on the Watchtowers official media site at: http://www.jw-media.org/beliefs/beliefsfaq.htm
Do you shun former members?
Those who become inactive in the congregation, perhaps even drifting away from association with fellow believers, are not shunned. In fact, special effort is made to reach out to them and rekindle their spiritual interest. If, however, someone unrepentantly practices serious sins, such as drunkeness, stealing or adultery, he will be disfellowshipped and such an individual is avoided by former fellow-worshipers. Every effort is made to help wrongdoers. But if they are unrepentant, the congregation needs to be protected from their influence. The Bible clearly states: 'Remove the wicked man from among yourselves.' (1 Corinthians 5:13) Those who formally say they do not want to be part of the organization any more are also avoided. What of a man who is disfellowshipped but whose wife and children are still Jehovah's Witnesses? The spiritual ties he had with his family change, but blood ties remain. The marriage relationship and normal family affections and dealings can continue. As for disfellowshipped relatives not living in the same household, Jehovah's Witnesses apply the Bible's counsel: "Quit mixing with them." (1 Corinthians 5:11) Disfellowshipped individuals may continue to attend religious services and, if they wish, they may receive spiritual counsel from the elders with a view to their being restored. They are always welcome to return to the faith if they reject the improper course of conduct for which they were disfellowshipped
However, there is a rider to this:
If, however, someone unrepentantly practices serious sins, such as drunkeness, stealing or adultery, (no child molestors, I see!) he will be disfellowshipped and such an individual is avoided by former fellow-worshipers. Every effort is made to help wrongdoers. But if they are unrepentant, the congregation needs to be protected from their influence.
In short, you can just fade. However, they will be watching you like a hawk. So they will expect you to receive their "shepherding" visits with gratitude. Which means that if you produce counter-arguments you could be labelled "apostate" and be subsequently disfellowshipped.
So if you decide to continue living where you are and do a slow fade, you will have to always be avoiding doing things that, to them, are DF'ing offences.
You can't argue your point of view overmuch.
You can't have a Christmas tree in the window!
You can't smoke.
You can't stay over with your beloved unless you're married to him/her.
You can't buy a lottery ticket.
In fact you can't do pretty much anything, which is why most faders either move or resign formerly.
What is really sickening about this statement for the media is the way in which it appears to be so reasonable. Drunkeness, stealing or adultery are generally regarded by most folk as being somewhat anti-social, so, on the face of it, there is little in this statement to excite a media that is ignorant of the real reasons that people are generally disfellowshipped. Those reasons are usually to do with disagreeing with Watchtower teachings and little do with anti-social behaviour.
What lying and devious a**holes they are!
Englishman.