Double the fun - out in more ways than one (page 2)

CountryGuy

Hey Mysterious!

Congratulations! I know how hard coming out to your folks can be. Fortunately, you have the support of your father and his understanding that it isn't just a "phase" you're going through, it's who you are. I came out to my parents four years ago and they have just started to understand the whole "not a choice" issue.

Also, don't give up hope on your mom. My folks were active JWs when I came out, but became inactive about a year or so later (for completely different reasons). After they broke free from the crap the WTS was forcing down their throats, our relationship returned to a somewhat "normal" state. So, there's really no way to know what's going to happen next. Give your mom some time. What you got was her shock. Time will give you her true feelings.

Poz, Way to go! Having the support of your parents makes the whole process, and life in general, much easier!

You both have my best wishes!

Country Guy

Maverick

Dear Mysterious and Dad: being the father of a very beautiful,19 year old girl I feel a sort of kinship with you both. I have tried to be supportive and non-judgemental. The operative word here is "tried"! Sometimes I can and sometimes my emotions run the show! But it wasn't always the case. For years I showed little or no emotion, outside of anger! I had them, as I do now, and in no lesser amount, I just did not react! My ex used to call me Mr. spock, of Star Trek fame. I have learned that it is OK to allow ones feeling to come to the surface. And it is OK to explore ones feeling and come to terms with them. They may not be rational, or even appropriate, but that is how we come to grips with what we are inside.

So, just because your wife does not show any outward sign of emotion, do not conclude that SHE HAS NONE! Maybe all her hopes were based on some secret ideal she had in your child. And now they are gone, vanished with the revelation of your daughter lifestyle. I wish you all,(wife included) peace! Maverick

Englishman

I must confess that it would knock me sideways to find out that one of my kids was gay. I would soon get used to it, I'm sure, nothing would ever stop me from loving them. I suppose it's because I just can't understand that sort of attraction. Truth to tell I can't help but find the whole idea of same sex sex distasteful. There again, some people find the idea of eating black pudding to be quite awful, so I enjoy it without expecting others to approve of my choice.

I have several pals who are gay and regard one of them as a particularly close friend. We are able to discuss gayness quite openly and comfortably with one another, without either of us remotely understanding the others sexual tastes.

You can still love someone for whom they are without having to approve of or understand their taste in the bedroom.

Englishman.

frenchbabyface

Just for the support to Mysterious & Poztate

already said :

Euphemism : I think you can really be proud of your daughter, Poz, for standing up for herself.

So, just because your wife does not show any outward sign of emotion, do not conclude that SHE HAS NONE! Maybe all her hopes were based on some secret ideal she had in your child. And now they are gone, vanished with the revelation of your daughter lifestyle. I wish you all,(wife included) peace! Maverick

Satans little helper

Mysterious, well done. It must have made it a world easier to have the support from such a cool dad.

I hope your mum wakes up, at the moment she is gonna be pretty shell shocked and to her you've just signed your own death warrant and she's not gonna see you the other side of 'geddon. Be patient and if she still gets your love she will come back to you, the only way to conquer the borg is with love, it contrasts strongly to the hatred they feel to those who do not agree with their beliefs

lisaBObeesa

Mysterious,

Congratulations for living your life with truth and courage!

And as for waiting for the other shoe to drop with mom, it reminded me of this quote:

?We spend

precious hours

fearing the inevitable.

It would be wise

to use that time

adoring our families,

cherishing

our friends,

and living our lives.?

---Maya Angelou

Best wishes,

-LisaBOBeesa

acsot

Congratulations Mysterious. I'm glad you have the support of your father. Your mother is probably feeling overwhelmed right now, kind of like seeing her whole life (her imagined life with her perfect little Witness family) pass by in front of her. Hopefully she'll come around. In the meantime, I'm sending positive thoughts your way.

Mysterious

Just an update of this morning.

She ambushed me by the window as soon as dad left and hugged me for about 5 minutes and said she's still my mom and she'll always love me and I can't help my feelings. But that she was more upset if I was going to leave the truth over it because that's my whole future. Then she talked about people who were gay but controlled their feelings and still served Jehovah etc. She printed off experiences of those people but said she wasn't going to make me read them but to ask her if I wanted to read them. And read the scripture about "that is what some of you were" but in the context of controlling actions not in the context of ex-gay. She told me to think about what I was doing (truth-wise) before I made up my mind. I told her about how hard it is that everyone at the hall is so condemning all the time. She said I could still be in the truth that Jehovah understands I can't help my feelings and that he won't take them away. I said that people at the hall dont distinguish between the two. She said she'd like me to finish studying the book at the book study but that it was my decision. She said if I want to go to the meetings I should get ready and if not she won't bug me and I should let her know if I want her to keep studying with me or not. Then talked about paradise where those feelings along with cravings of drunks and drug addicts would be taken away. Oh yes and asked if people at school know, singled out one friend in particular and I said yes. And said that it wasn't something she was going to tell people that if they found out it would be because of me. Oh and she is not going to do a brunch she had planned for tomorrow because she doesn't feel up to it.

LittleToe

It sounds like she's just taking her time to adjust to it.
It was a double whammy, afterall.
Taking your time may help her, but you and Poztate know her far better than I...

I wish you well

avishai

Tell her you'll read it if she'll read the stuff about the UN, 1914, covering up child molestation, etc.

Double the fun - out in more ways than one

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