by floridaborn 14 Replies latest jw friends
So I've been a lurked on this site for about 15 years, thank goodness for dial up internet...
Is dial up internet the reason it took you 15 years to log in? :)
Ok but seriously, I'm going to PM you what you should do as JW cult members lurk here and report back to Bethell. Give me a few! We'll get you through this! :)
Other than telling your family the truth and to mind their own business it's time to cut the umbilical chord.
There is a huge difference between growing older and growing up.
If you've been here 15 years (didn't know JWN was that old), and you were an adult when starting, then you are at least 30 years old. Isn't it time for you to "grow up"?
I'd also take another look at this guy. If he's willing to "jump through hoops" like this for you, I hope it means that you are one hell of a "catch", but it could also mean that he is one hell of a desperate loser. Buyer beware.
The greatest revenge is living a happy & successful life!
How old are you?
There is a point where it is really none of their business. So what, you get marked. All it means is you can't hang with a bunch of phonies.
One meeting a month. Come late, leave early.
Before subjecting your mate to the phony publisher idea, I would simply attempt to be more honest that he is not a JW. You can always try to win back your family a little bit by your half-assed participation in meetings for awhile if they feel the need to shun you.
If that didn't work, then I would let the people go rather than try to keep up such a deception.
Is dial up internet the reason it took you 15 years to log in? 
Ouch - but I love it!
Regarding your being an adult and your love interests being none of their business, I also acknowledge the hold the threat of rejection can have over even "mature" adults.
I have deliberately changed some of the personal details in the following account to protect the individual's privacy:
Some months ago I was in touch with an active JW who is in her sixties, long divorced (on valid Biblical grounds pertaining to her ex's adultery), with 5 of her 7 children still in JW organization. So far so good. She had gone through some not insignificant physical health problems that led to a period away from meetings recuperating at home. No one from her hall phoned or visited.
However that was about to change: Local Witnesses noticed her going for morning "recuperating" walks accompanied by her worldly single male neighbour. She did not want to go alone lest she have a medical event.
Next thing, Witnesses are visiting her, including elders, curious about this man. "We are concerned because we haven't seen you at meetings for a while and we wondered who that man was."
In fact, it had only been 4 weeks of missed meetings which included her hospitalization. But that is beside the point. For God's sake, nothing untoward was happening and she's in her 60s!
Would you believe that when she returned to meetings on the Sunday, an elder approached her and asked her to come with him to back room to meeting with two other elders. They had serious concerns she was developing an intimate relationship with her nonWitness neighbour and told her, even if she wasn't, it could cause weaker ones in the congregation to stumble.
She was deeply upset by the sudden need to question her, given no advance notice that the elders wanted to meet with her - and they even contacted two of her older adult children to ask them if they knew who the man was.
Yes, she still believed it's the truth - but it was also clear she was traumatized by the meeting with the elders and noted that the verbal behaviour of one of the elders reminded her of her abusive husband. I have no doubt she developed an acute stress disorder and likely now meets criteria for PTSD.
Make no mistake: Even mature adults within the organization can be vulnerable to the disgusting interfering politics of local JW congregations.
