Maui Was Wonderful (page 3)

Nosferatu

Exceptions can also be called compromises right? I don't think compromising is a bad thing as long as I don't compromise everything.

May I ask, what is Michael comprimising?

Michael is very willing to wait until we grow old if that's what I want.

But it is what you want, or wanted. Why the change?

Right now it's totally up to me.

This is very true, but it sounds as if you're not believing your own words.

One thing you must remember: You're the only person who has been with you all your life, and will be with you for the rest of your life. You are the most important person in your life. Other people will have an effect on your life only if you let them.

Infatuation can do strange things to people. Emotions can cloud your logical thinking. Keep your head about the cloud of emotion and everything will remain clear.

Stacy Smith

May I ask, what is Michael comprimising?

you need to know that? why?

Infatuation can do strange things to people. Emotions can cloud your logical thinking. Keep your head about the cloud of emotion and everything will remain clear.

Nosferatu you don't know me very well. I'm not the infatuated little schoolgirl who finally got a boyfriend. I do know myself better than anyone else does. All you have here are little bits and pieces.

When I first read about your little note about being engaged all I could think was.. DETAILS?? WE NEED DETAILS!!!

I'll PM you some details Sassy. I'd hate to have a pleasant memory disected here

Nosferatu

Nosferatu you don't know me very well. I'm not the infatuated little schoolgirl who finally got a boyfriend. I do know myself better than anyone else does. All you have here are little bits and pieces.

I was not at all depicting you as an immature little schoolgirl. It doesn't matter if you're 20 or 60, everyone gets excited when something new and exciting enters their lives, especially if it's a member of the opposite sex. Even if I don't know you or Michael very well, the both of you are going through something that happens to thousands of couples. Even though personalities differ, the actions and interactions fall into very few different categories. Actions and reactions are normally based on emotions (with the exception of players). Can you list thousands upon thousands of emotions?

If you boil down the actions and reactions of a relationship even further, you'll get only 2 different people: The one who is in control of the relationship, and the one who is not. I'm not talking about controlling an actual person, but controlling the direction of the relationship. One person leads, and one person follows. Occasionally, there will be a power struggle, and sometimes the control of the relationship is handed over to the other person. All this happens without the two actually realizing what is happening.

One of the reactions that happens with the person who is NOT in control of the relationship is they end up giving away their personal happiness for the other. This openly invites the one who is in control of the relationship to control the other person. This is when the relationship starts turning to shit, even though it's not noticeable to others at the time. As time passes, it becomes more noticeable until one person becomes unhappy with the relationship, while the other denies that there is anything wrong.

Personalities may differ, but dynamics are incredibly similar. I can't judge who is who in your relationship since (1) I don't know any of your relationship experiences, and (2) the both of you haven't been together very long. All I can do is warn you of what CAN happen.

SixofNine

uh... so all relationships are doomed?

joannadandy

I'm cheap!!

Avishai--SAY IT AIN'T SO!

Nosferatu

uh... so all relationships are doomed?

Once the emotion clouds settle, people return to themselves. Unfortunately, for some people, the cloud doesn't settle (the person who doesn't have control in the relationship).

However, during the blindness from emotion clouds, people end up making very rash decisions, some of them ruining their lives. Emotional clouds don't have to blind if you keep yourself above them. There's nothing wrong with feeling emotions, but many cannot keep them under control. They let the emotions control them.

Not all relationships are doomed. Some people have accepted being controlled. Some like being in total control. Balance is essential for a happy relationship. I've seen very few happy relationships. All I truly wish for people is to find real happiness. Unfortunately, few do. Relationships create an even bigger challenge to find real happiness.

Aztec

Uh okay, don't take this as an insult Stacy: I don't think anyone should get married or engaged before the age of 25 at the very earliest. This is not a judgement on those under the age of 25 but an observation of what I've seen. If you do intend to get married please wait until you've graduated college Stacy. You have alot of potential and I'd really like to see you live up to it. Frequently, not always by any means, marriages stunt a women's growth intellectually. You have far too much to live up to and I'd hate to see you throw it away.

Best wishes anyway!

~Aztec