Tips to Keep Your Testimony from Toppling By Joni Hilton
?The reason people fall out of the church is the same reason they fall out of bed: They?re not in properly!? See what other readers have to say about anti-Mormon literature, and how you can keep a testimony from toppling.
I started this week?s column with a quote from the late Alex Burton, in whose ward I served as Relief Society president. I?ll never forget his charming New Zealand accent, as he announced the above in a testimony meeting. And I?ve found it true again and again.
Many of you wrote with some other excellent wisdom on this topic:
Yes, I'm a man so I guess I'm not in your "circle of sisters", but your subject interested me.
For years I couldn't fathom how someone could leave the Church, but I've come to the conclusion that they leave in much the same way that they come into it.
In order to have the Spirit give someone a testimony, they must first plant a seed of faith. They then nurture that seed with thoughts and actions that will help that faith mature.
The same is true of those who leave. They first plant a seed of doubt. They continue to nurture this seed, the Spirit of the Lord departs, they "rationalize" behavior that they would have never considered previously and before they know it they are out of the Church. Interestingly, even though they sometimes leave, they can't seem to leave it alone. I have also found that many if not most who leave the Church also lose their belief in Christ and God or any Supreme Being.
Almost always follows the argument that "those who believe" simply don't know how to "think rationally". Nothing could be further from the truth. When one has the Spirit of the Lord and can view things as they really are, that's when rationality is at its best!
A member of the Fifth Quorum of the Seventy, Elder Harvey Gardner, once told me that he considered anti-Mormon literature as "pornography" because it damages your spirit. I agree. Why would anyone plant weed seeds in a beautiful garden? That certainly is the effect of anti-Mormon literature on a testimony of Our Savior and the restoration of the gospel in these latter days.
When one has left the Church it can be very difficult to bring them back. Without the Holy Spirit to guide them, they truly can't think with rationality and many times they are simply left to kick against the pricks. Oliver Cowdrey is a good example. It took him years to come to his senses and return to the fold even though he once had held all of the priesthood keys jointly with the Prophet Joseph.
The sure and certain way for one to come back is to plant wholesome seeds of faith and remove the seeds of doubt that have been nurtured and grown. Faith, hope and God's enduring love is the only solution that I have seen that is successful.
My two cents for what it is worth.
Darwin N. Davis Phoenix, Arizona
Your thoughts are worth much more than two cents, and are so true: Satan wins by increments. What seeds are we nurturing? And, by the way, we love hearing from our ?circle of brothers,? too.
This reader agrees that anti-Mormon literature is ?spiritual pornography?:
First of all, anti-Mormon literature, Internet sites, conversations, ideas, etc. are like spiritual pornography. Once they are in the mind, they are very difficult to get rid of. As you try to reach out to your husband, I would advise you to avoid any material, even if you think it might help you understand him better. You don't want those seeds of doubt planted in your own mind, because no one is immune to them.
Secondly, be aware that not all anti-Mormon "stuff" out there comes from non- or ex-Mormons. My friend has found material that is written in a spirit of so-called "enlightenment" on Church history or other topics by church members -- but at the core, it is anti-Mormon and anything but enlightening or faith-promoting. There are some wolves in sheep's clothing out there, right in our midst. And you can detect them -- because they stray from foundational principles.
Which brings me to my third point: most anti-Mormon material strikes at the foundation of our faith -- particularly focusing on Joseph Smith and the Book of Mormon. So, with that in mind, first do all you can to keep your testimony bright and burning, especially regarding these two points: Joseph Smith was a prophet and the Book of Mormon is true. If you can find ways to read and re-read the Book of Mormon with your husband, to read Joseph Smith's words and testimony, and to pray about these things, that might help. If it's possible to do a church-history kind of trip to somewhere like Palmyra, Nauvoo or Independence, that couldn't hurt (these are places where my own testimony was strengthened immensely, hence this recommendation).
I think of the formula in Alma 32. Perhaps you can work through that formula with your husband. Does he WANT to believe? If so, that's where he can begin now. He can work with the seed of desire first, and care for that seed through prayerful study and consistent actions that can help the seed grow (continuing to go to church, fulfill callings, etc., even if, right now, he isn't 100% sure it's true). "If any man will do his will, he shall know of the doctrine..." (John 7:17). The more I study, the more I serve, the more I immerse myself in the Church and gospel, the more true it all becomes!
Seek the Lord's guidance and try to have as many shared experiences with the Spirit as possible. Try to encourage him to do that alone as well. The only way to overcome the effects of "spiritual pornography" is to fill one's mind, heart and soul with things of the Spirit...and, then, to walk by faith.
"If you desire a further witness, cast your mind upon the night that you cried unto me in your heart, that you might know concerning the truth of these things. Did I not speak peace to your mind concerning the matter? What greater witness can you have than from God?" (Doctrine and Covenants 6:22-23)
If your husband has had moments like that, try to help him remember them, to recall the witnesses that he has received. And seek for ways to encourage him (and help him, if you can) have more such moments -- "experiences with the Spirit." The Holy Ghost really is the key to this challenge. He is the testifier of truth. No man, not even the best church scholars, can overcome the effects of these doubts completely. (After all, for every wonderful church scholar, there is a crafty intellectual out there who will claim to debunk any scholar's claim!) We all need to remember to turn to the Source of truth, even God, who speaks through the Spirit. That is the pattern He has designed for us. May He bless you and your sweetheart!
With love, A sister in Utah
more letters re: this topic are in the full article at:
http://www.ldsmag.com/circleofsisters/031229testimonyprint.html
Randy