Do you really LIKE yourself?

by Tatiana 29 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  Country Girl

  If I met myself at a party, I'd like myself. If I had a long time relationship with myself, I would definitely like myself. I'm a very unique person, and I think that people that appreciate unique people would definitely appreciate me. I've been called strange and wierd, but as I've gotten older I've discovered that that is not necessarily a bad thing. I'm most positively and absolutely not "mainstream".. and while that bothered me at a younger age, now I find it posilutely cool. However, how people see me and like me, is not the way it is internally. I am very hard on myself, and very critical of myself. I don't know where that stream of in-head language comes from, but it's pretty debilitating. The way that I keep it balanced is knowing that I have *lots* of friends, family, and supporters that think I'm pretty neat. I like myself, yes, but I don't LOVE myself. The very things that I do very well, I know logically that I do very well, my art for instance, but am very critical and hard on myself. Sometimes, even though you're getting positive feedback, you are still having this dialogue going on in your head saying you are worth nothing.

  It is just not TOTALLY the JW stuff, it's family stuff, too. I just got a double whammy cuz I was raised in the JW's, which put women down anyway, and raised in an ethnic family that puts women down, too. So, it's real hard to get out of that mind think.

  But, overall, I think I am better than I was 15 years ago.

  CG
• 

  Tatiana

  Re: Do you really LIKE yourself?

  nope

  Why, joanna?
• 

  alias

  Sure, I like myself. I am me.

  I would really like to meet someone like me and see if I like them. :) Now that would be interesting!
• 

  Nosferatu

  Years of being abused, picked on, called names (even by my mother) have taken their toll. I've read all the books about raising your self-image, etc. But, the feelings will not go away, and I HATE it!! I can fake them successfully, but I want the feeling to be real.

  I've tried a few things to improve this about myself. My self-esteem will never get exactly where I want it to be, but I've improved it a lot. I've tried a few things such as love (haha), subliminal message tapes, and affirmation. Affirmations work really well. I've read methods to do this such as write a card with some positive affirmations (ie "I'm not afraid of anything", "I am successful", etc), stick the card to your mirror, look yourself straight in the eyes and repeat the affirmations every day.

  Personally, I didn't use this technique, but I kept telling myself affirmations daily, and I felt a lot better about myself. I became successful in things I've never dreamed of.

  If I could alter something about myself, it would probably have to be not needing glasses. I don't have a problem with the way I look in them, but they're a huge pain in the ass. Also, getting rid of my arthritis in my knees would help as well.

  Personality wise, I can't think of anything to change, just improve. I've always had a problem venting my anger. I was always repressed and had to keep all my anger inside. Things can't change overnight especially if you've been doing the same thing long enough. I've gotten better at venting my anger, but I still need work.

  As of late, I've been thinking about changing jobs. However, situations are going to prevent me from doing it within the next year or so.
• 

  Stacy Smith

  I suppose I'm happy with myself. I like where I am and where I'm heading and even the path I'm taking to get there.

  Everyone always wants some physical change but while I'm not perfect physically I'm just fine.

  Years of being told I wasn't doing enough didn't screw me up too bad. I did enough where it really counted.
• 

  Sassy

  I do like myself. Odd that when I was a JW, I am not sure I did. I think I always thought I needed so much improvement. Now after stopping, I find that I can not feel like I am failing or unworthy but find I am really pleased with the person I have inside of me..
• 

  Hunyadi

  Yes, I do really like myself.

  I have been through major bouts of guilt, depression, doubt and fear caused by a lifetime of shite dumped on me by hyppocritical and fanatical JW friends and family, and I have never had more love and respect, or lovable friends than since I left the org. Wow! What a difference a good spiritual enema makes!

  One day, when i was a teen, while succumbing to an emotional melt-down over the crap heeped on me by a lune JW family member, I said to an elder with clentched teeth and tear dimned eyes, just hoping for some kind of encouragement or support, " I am so tired of feeling guilty . . . "

  He replied, " Well, stop doing things to feel guilty for . . . "

  Well, no matter what I am going through, no matter how I might want to feel, no matter what anyone ever did or said to me, that is the past, and I refuse to let anyone make me feel bad or not like myself, simply because of their f'd up judgements or preferences.

  Gone Shopping,

  H
• 

  fraidycat9

  Yep. (kisses self) I may come off as a wimp and thread killer on this forum; however, those who know me (or think they do) know that I am comfortable in my own skin and many have told me that they wish that they could be as bold as I am. I don't back down much and don't really "give a fart" what people think about me. The only reason I hold back from saying certain things is because not only do I LIKE myself, I LOVE my family and it takes tons of energy for me not to speak out and jeopardize my relationship with them. By the way...there are many on this forum who I suspect thatI know personally. Will be interesting when I eventually find out "for real"... Love you all!!!!
• 

  Guest 77

  I've often used the word, content , and why not? I'm always learning to live with myself. To make life comfortable, you need to come to terms with yourself as best as possible. What does it take? Hmmmmm. Time, patience and an inner knowledge of thyself are great starters. We all progress accordingly.

  Here are two quotes you may want to consider. "Persistence is the twin sister of excellence. One is a matter of quality, the other, a matter of time."

  "To thy ownself be true..." Remember, the second greatest commandment besides loving your neighbor is "...love thyself," so, when you forgive others, don't forget yourself.

  Guest 77
• 

  Tatiana

  Affirmations work really well. I've read methods to do this such as write a card with some positive affirmations (ie "I'm not afraid of anything", "I am successful", etc), stick the card to your mirror, look yourself straight in the eyes and repeat the affirmations every day.

  Personally, I didn't use this technique, but I kept telling myself affirmations daily, and I felt a lot better about myself. I became successful in things I've never dreamed of.

  Thanks, nos. All I can do is keep on keeping on....try and try again. I will give your suggestions a try. I have read so many books.

  Mind Control---Reinventing Your Life---7 Habits of Highly Effective People---Positive Living--Mixed Anxiety and Depression--The Higher Self, etc., etc., etc.

  I get so frustrated. In my mind I KNOW how I SHOULD feel. I KNOW I'm an intelligent person. I KNOW I'm a good and kind person. I KNOW if I had more self-esteem I could have that better job. I KNOW----I KNOW----I KNOW!!!! But, my heart doesn't feel it. Why? All the books can't tell me that.