Another newbie...

by Rabbit 15 Replies latest social relationships

  • Rabbit
    Rabbit

    Hey,

    I'm new too, I guess the saying, "misery loves company," is true in some ways. In reading some of the posts...I see a very sad and common theme of extreme depression and loneliness. I am very much among that group, too. I fail to understand how throwing away friends and relatives is very Christian, just because some one falls or walks away from a religion. After 7 years of separation, then divorce, I remarried a wonderful woman, they all liked her. Then, just before the wedding I'm informed that no one is coming or will have anything to do with the wedding. It's been 3 months with no contact from about JW 25 relatives. You see, she wasn't a witness!

    My X was told she had NO grounds for divorce, she did it anyway. Since the divorce was not 'scriptual', my marrying could get me DF. In any case I'm definitely 'marked' and stopped going a few years ago. No action (official) has been taken, but, my family says I should have remained celibate OR and get this: "only marry in the Lord." Guess how many dates I could have gotten with JW women? Right...! So-o...'Catch-22,' huh?

    I am being pretty much treated like DF.

    Does anyone have any experience with stuff like this? What is likely happening right now? What is likely to happen? One of my relatives...trying her best to explain their actions to a non-witness, said they will continue to talk to me at regular family gatherings, then more ominously, "unless something changes..."

    So, though I am not glad to see others misery, at least don't feel like 'I'm the only one.'

    Lee

  • Odrade
    Odrade

    Welcome again Rabbit! So do you have any family who aren't JWs? Have you been able to re-connect with them? It's hard when the whole family is in the Organization. My husband's family is like that, and it makes it very hard on him. Glad you're here.

    Odrade

  • maybesbabies
    maybesbabies

    Welcome, Rabbit. I have no advice to give, but I am happy you're here!!!

  • Emma
    Emma

    Welcome Rabbit! I don't have advice other than to keep moving forward, one step at a time. There should be others on the board with experiences similar to yours that will get in touch with you. Ask for help as needed.

    Emma

  • Sassy
    Sassy

    Hi Rabbit. Welcome. No you aren't alone in your circumstances. Many have been in your shoes and you will see that they have survived it as well. This shunning is not natural and so we do know why it fills one with negative emotions.

    When my ex left me I knew he would never give me a scriptural divorce either.. I quit being a JW after he left. Now living with a man because it is just as disfellowshippable as marrying another and I will not make another mistake at marriage.. I will be SURE next time..

    I'm sorry your second marriage is dampened with a cloud by them.. It must hurt her to be treated so and not really understand.. for unless you have been a JW, there is only so much they truly can get it.. it makes no sense how they act. Hang in there..

  • Valis
    Valis

    Welcome Lee. First welcome to the forum! You will no doubt feel at home here amongst the wrecked families and very real evidence Jehovahs Witnesses are not quite the loving bunch they portay themselves as. Sounds like your relatives plan to shun all the way if you get DF, which sucks...however if is their loss entirely. Cold comfort I know, but maybe something for you to consider. Look forward to more of your posts and welcome again!

    Sincerely,

    District Overbeer

  • Rabbit
    Rabbit

    My Dad's side is not JW, they are mystified why this is happening. My new wife

    is one of those people everyone feels comfortable with, (I haven't met one person

    who did not like her right away) even my X!

  • calamityjane
    calamityjane

    Welcome.

    cj

  • Kenneson
    Kenneson

    Even though Jehovah's Witnesses don't welcome you, you can feel at home here. We accept you.

  • Puternut
    Puternut

    Rabbit,
    Welcome to the board. I am pretty new myself, and have had lots of friendly repsonses. I knew I had to start somewhere. Just being able to get things out of your head and putting them on paper like this is a great way to heal. I have hot bottom myself, but I just couldn't lay there on the gound. I got up (sorta) and started to look online for help. This is one of the sites I found very helpful. I also wrote a story to the silentlambs. And the healing has started. Now it's a matter of meeting people and talk and cry as much as you need to.

    See ya around

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