Tell us a little about yourself and your family.
Male, single, 62 yrs old. Adult ADHD. Currently, a full-time carer sharing a granny flat with a gentleman who suffers from Parkinson disease.
Born in Perth Western Australia. At the age of 7, we moved to Victoria to serve where the need was great.
Baptized at 42 yrs old. DA myself at the age of 50.
Married at 20 yrs old to a 16 yr old {you know JW wedding just for sex]
Married in Victoria moved back to Western Australia to start our lives far away from her parents as possible.
Two kids, son 37 yrs old, daughter 34. Both are married and still JWs. No grandkids. {you know, waiting for paradise} Both moved to Queensland Aust. Got to get away from dad the “mentally diseased apostate”.
Divorced 29 yrs later. Ex remarried a JW. {she moved back to Victoria Aust.}
All my family are JWs, dad was an elder for as long as I can remember [from when the elder arrangement first came in]. Have one brother and one sister.
Were you a born in or a convert?
My parents were both Catholics’ and join the JWs when I was 2 yrs old so I would call that born in.
Are your parents / family JWs?
Yes.
Dad was an elder [died 5 yrs ago} Mum still alive, still brainwashed. Brother {58 yrs old} has been an elder for at least 20yrs or more. Married no kids. Are, or were special pioneer and still serve where the need is great. {Victoria Aust.}
Sister married, {no kids} husband an elder, on the hospital liaison committee. Both were or still are special pioneers. Live here in West. Aust. Living with my mum and are caring for her.
I liken my sister to a Nazi witness will turn and stab you in the back at any chance she gets.
If you ask my sister “are you pioneering?”
Her answer is ”special pioneering”….. just loves the title.
Have I mentioned my sister is a “special” pioneer?
How many generations have been JWs?
Mum and dad. Wife and myself. Son and daughter.
3 generations.
Did you hold any position in the WTS? (MS, Elder etc...)
The only thing I held was the microphones’.
Did you *really* believe in the bible, in spirits (angels, demons)?
Yes I did, hook line and sinker
Did you get baptised? When and why?
yes at the age of 42, at the time we were separated for 3 yrs so I put my head down studied 6 to 8 hrs per day to get my family back, which worked. Got back together but the marriage only lasted another 8 yr.
What was the initial trigger that made you start questioning things?
Many things I questioned as a child. The very first thing was been taught at the age of 9 or 10 was “love Jehovah or die at Armageddon” I thought that was very much like blackmail not really a choice.
Many times while studying the watchtower later on in life I could see pictures in the illustration “huh” very odd. I recall pointing them out to my wife, she could see them too but we just shrugged our shoulders “oh well”
Then the constant set of growing rules that never had any bible backing. I remember sitting in the meeting saying to myself “gee that sounds like the Scribes and Pharisees”
On one occasion my Nazi sister told me…”you don’t have to worry about Satan killing you, Jehovah will do it for him at Armageddon” huh?
Where did you find information? Internet sites? Books?
Right here! Thank you, Simon.
2 yrs before DA myself I started to research JWs. Found this site extremely helpful. Also JWfacts.
Read Crisis of Conscience and was totally stunned at how unbiased it was written. Recall telling my dad, I had read the book….his reply “all sour grape and lies” to which I replied, “have you read it”.
I could not recall any “sour grapes” sooooo I read it again. 5 times I have read that book, 5 times no “sour grapes or any lies” The more I read it the more humble was the writers' approach.
How difficult or painful was the process of leaving?
Hmmmm… not really difficult. Handed in my DA letter and have not looked back. Oh… of course my marriage was over to that hurt.
Was it a big dramatic exit or a careful quiet fade?
Nothing dramatic, just one little letter did the trick.
Did you convince anyone else to leave with you?
No, not yet.
I personal believe JWs are so heavily brainwashed no one will leave until they themselves are ready.
I have always likened it to being an alcoholic. No alcoholic believes they have a problem
….until they attend there first AA meeting stand up and say “Hi my name is XXX and…ummm and I am aarr umm an ALCOHOLIC!”
Same with the johos.
How were your family relations affected by your decision?
Devastated, to say the least.
Were you or are you still being shunned by those who didn't leave?
Heck yeah. My take on it…. their loss not mine.
I flatly refuse to waste emotional energy and time on that shit.
How long have you now been out?
12 years of freedom.
Was there anything you looked forward to doing when you left?
Hmmm this I have to leave blank for fear of incriminating myself.
Not proud of it.
What are you most proud of achieving since you left?
What we all have built inside of us genuinely helping people with not expecting something in return. e.g. was walking my dog and saw two ladies trying to load a huge sofa into a car that was not going to fit no matter how hard they tried, got in my ute and loaded it on, took it to their home they were so grateful, what a buzz it was to help.
Is there anything you miss about life in the congregation?
Absolutely nothing. Who needs pretend friends. Conditional love. Yeah right, I need that like a hole in the head.
Red pill or blue pill? Do you regret waking up to reality at all?
Never regretted waking up to TTATT
Did you become an atheist or transfer your faith elsewhere?
First off I joined the Baptist church even become a born-again Christian…gee that lasted a whole of 6 months.
The more I read on this site some of the thought-provoking questions, Eve talking to a snake she must have been blonde.
Snake has been cursed. Why? Noah's flood. No ice core samples to prove it. Two sets of ten commandments? The list grows daily. A god that gets his rocks off killing people. The verdict is still out on this question.
How do you now feel about religion in general?
"Judge" Rutherford summed it up nicely “religion is a snare and a racket”
Do you feel any guilt celebrating xmas or birthdays or doing any other JW "no-no"s?
Hell no!
Have you attended any face-to-face meetups of ex-JWs?
Yes but only once here in Perth.
Describe your circle of friends - mostly other ex-JWs or regular people?
All regular normal genuine people.
Do you tell people about your JW past?
I use to tell anyone who would listen, not so much now.
Do you feel animosity or pity toward current JWs?
Mostly pity they are so brainwashed there just batshit crazy. You just can’t fix stupid.
How do you respond to witnesses when they call at your door?
I use theocratic warfare telling them I am a disgruntled ex Mormon.
Always bring up the ARC. Case study 29 and make sure I let them know their religion is now worldwide known as a “paedophiles paradise”
Once I introduced myself as “according to your watchtower I’m a mentally diseased apostate”….you had to be there to see their reaction.
Storm the barricades or tend to the wounded? (do you favor activism or support)
Support.
What do you think is the most effective approach to reaching people still in?
I am not sure there is an effective approach, just like the alcoholic they need to see the cracks for themselves.
Do you think the WTS can or should be destroyed, will continue on as-is or grow / change?
Just let the 8 clowns in Warwick keep digging there own hole
How has your life been impacted by your JW past?
Most definitely.
Are there things in your life you blame the WTS for?
YES! wasted 50 yrs OGK {only god knows} what I may have achieved. It has been only recently I have gotten over the anger.
JW upbringing - a protection or a curse?
A curse.
How do you fill your time now it's not filled with meetings and field service?
Just being a normal person.
Do you still have an interest in JW beliefs and doctrines?
Only on this site just to keep up to date on how big a hole they are digging for themselves.
How much of your time is still spent on JW related matters?
Again only this site….visit here 2 or 3 times a day.
Read every single post.
What do you think of the ex-JW community?
This is the only site I am a member of, I rarely comment here but am constantly logged on. The members I follow very closely are:
TerryWalstrom read all of his 225 Topics started a great writer who always holds my attention, have read his book “I Wept by the Rivers of Babylon” An extremely knowledgeable person with great personal tales.
Wake Me Up Before You Jo-Ho read all 10 topics started and 775 posts I really felt for her as she started to wake up. I am a BIG fan of hers seems to be very intellectual, would love to meet her in person if possible.
Listener always down to earth and logical
flipper A wise person with heartfelt comments
smiddy3 Atlantis stuckinarut2 pale.emperor new boy zeb slimboyfat _Morpheus
are just some of my favourites’.
Do you see yourself still being associated with the ex-JW community in 5 or 10 years time?
Yes why not, I have always believed the ‘truth’ will haunt you.
Do you fear the future?
No way. Still waiting for my dad to come back to me in a dream or a ghost or vision but I know this will never happen in the words of cofty …ALL .BOLICS
What advice would you give to anyone starting the journey of leaving the WTS?
Use your own brain…then run run run RUN!
What would you change in your life if you could go back and talk to yourself?
If I could go back and talk to myself I would say “Nic don’t get married you are to bloody young”
Do you have any regrets about life since you left?
Only the time wasted trapped in a cult.
Since leaving none what so ever.
Can we read your life-story anywhere? (links to online or books)
Exclusively here on Jehovahs-Witness.com
Want to share your own story? Please use the Interview with an Apostate: Template and post it in the Personal Experiences & Reunions section with the title "Interview with an Apostate: [your name or alias]"
This I wrote this a few yrs back and have updated it called:
KEEPING THE PEACE
At this time in my life, I was already DA
As my parents were ageing, they realised they would need help coping.
My parents own a large home (4bed 2bath) which could very easily divide into two comfortable living quarters.
Both younger brother and sister lived approx 3,500km {Victoria Aust.} away serving as special pioneer where “the need is great”. It was agreed upon one of the couples would return home to support the parents.
Sister must have drawn the short straw.
At this point, i need to creature names we can identify with. For argument sake, let's call sisters name... let us say Lou and for the husband, let's refer to him as Tony.
Yes, that seems to have a nice ring to it,
Tony and Lou.
Now my dad rang to ask could I help with the conversion. It so happened I was out of work, “sure dad no problem”
Things worked out good, so long as religion was not discussed which is impossible for jws.
Being jws dad, always had to get the last word in, swivel on his heel turning and walked away.
This was dad's gift.
Looking back I recall this happening out in service as well.
Last word in.
Swivel, turn and walked.
At least I was taught something in life.lol
On one occasion I asked dad “who do you follow Jehovah or the WBTS”
Dad gave it some thought and replied “Jehovah”
I replied “so you don’t need the WBTS”
I Swivelled, turned and walked.
Toward the end of renovating I recall my mother in the kitchen turning to me one morning in quite a huff saying “ I don’t know whether to believe all the lies you have been telling me or not!”. Huh?
As the time drew closer for Lou and Tony to arrive I was told by mum and dad I would no longer be able to visit them, the main reason was to keep the peace.
“Apparently” mum and dad really meant “Nic! your Nazis special pioneering jw sister will stab us in the back if you visit us and I will lose my elders' privilege! Best not to come around to KEEP THE PEACE."
That I would have understood.
Very close to the last day of working there mum was admiring the progress and was thanking me for all the hard work I had put in.
Mum should have stopped right there. But she adds, “OH I would NEVER! tell Lou you did all this work”
A knife to my heart with a twist.
Strangely enough, whenever mum saw jws walking up her drive it was “Nic Niic!! out the back quickly!! don’t want them to see you here!”
So behind the garage out of sight waiting for them to leave I am having a smoke chuckling to myself.
Once elder Tony and Nazis Lou moved into their new accommodation my visits were coldly and abruptly stopped.
I used every excuse possible to visit. “Dad, can I borrow the lawn mower?”
“Dad, I've got a stinking toothache, can I pick up some grappa?” (homemade grappa)
On many occasions, I would ring asking could I pop it for 10mins only three times dad say yes and the time had to coincide with elder Tony Nazis Lou being out witnessing.
Keeping in mind my dad was an elder, he knew how to walk the thin line.
The three of us would always sit outside on the front veranda talking.
Each time I visited my father, he was looking older and older.
On the very last time, I visited about two weeks before he died dad said to me
“ Nic religion should never come before family”
We hugged and cried.
I could not have asked for more.
my real name is Nicolino. As a child, I was always called Nicky most of my life.
Until I reached about 40....One day i woke up and said..."that's it! I want to be called NICK, Nicky is just too childish!" and most people excepted this.
One day at mums place explaining all of the reason as to why i would prefer her to call me Nick, even to the extent of getting her to repeat "Nick" back to me several times.
On completion I said..."...ok mum have you got it!" 3-second pause "yes Nicky I got it". I could only shake my head in total disbelief. What can you say?...lol
Mum still calls me Nicky...the last time i saw mum was 5yrs ago in the kingdom hall at dads funeral.
I was given very strict instruction never to contact my mum again from elder Tony.
So I am keeping the peace.