A SIN WORSE THAN APOSTASY
There was a very nice young couple in our congregation with one child. The husband was a nice fellow, but I recall that he was fairly new in the organization. He studied and attended meetings, and engaged from time to time in field service, but not what you would call the most active JW.
His wife likewise was regular at the meetings and her field service was more consistent and normally greater quantity. She was an attractive lady. She had a sweetness in her face and a gentleness in her eyes that made her soft and quiet demeanor a pleasure to be around. Yet, there was a hint of sadness even in her smile.
My wife and I became friends with them to some extent. We had dinner together and enjoyed each other's company. They were the kind of people that are unassuming and unimposing. You can be around them for hours on end and never feel exhausted. The couple seemed vary happily married and they were clearly good parents to their well behaved and gentle child.
We eventually moved away, but we kept track of a lot of JWs as to their situation and how they were doing in the organization. But somehow we lost contact with this couple as we did with a number of JW friends.
Many years later I was back in the same congregation, but this couple was gone and no one seemed to remember them. One Saturday I received a letter from a congregation in another state. As I began to read it, I noticed right away that it was from a Judicial Committee that represented the sister.
In the letter they requested her reinstatement. They went on to characterize how she lived in near poverty, receiving little or no child support or alimony from her now ex-husband. She survived on welfare and some small part time jobs. She and her child lived in substandard conditions.
In spite of this and some health problems, she was at every meeting, prepared her material (As noticed by the Elders who could see her highlighted magazines and books and study notes.) When her car would break down on the way to meetings, even in severe weather conditions, she and her child would walk to be at the meeting, and postpone help for the car until after the meeting. She had an Elder study with her child because she felt that as a disfellowshipped person she should delegate that responsibility.
At the close of the letter the Judicial Committee did something rather unusual. They BEGGED for her reinstatement. Why? Because this had been the 6th letter in 3 years from them to our congregation seeking her reinstatement. They noted in all their meetings with her that she was most repentant for her sin, and that her conduct was exemplary. They expressed concern that our Judicial Committee reconsider her sin in light of their basis to disfellowship and allow her to again enjoy full fellowship.
The sister was very emotionally depressed over this, but was showing patience and persistence to get reinstated. The congregation was limited in what it could do for her (which was nothing) because of her disfellowshipped status. The Judicial Committee believed that if this went on much longer she would become so distressed that she would be forever lost.
I sat in my chair stunned and sick. I knew this sister and felt bad that she was now obviously divorced. She seem to love her husband a lot and they were a happy little family. I thought to myself, surly her efforts to get reinstated have been WAY more than enough. I wondered what she could possibly have done to merit such rejection from our congregation.
[For those of you who have not been JWs, many years ago if a JW were disfellowshipped, but the Elders were not supportive of reinstatement, he/she could move to another congregation and meet with another Judicial Committee. Often times upon review of their situation they could be more easily reinstated. The Society closed this loophole by making the original congregation / Judicial Committee from where the person was disfellowshipped responsible for the reinstatement decision.]
I recovered the Judicial file and right away noticed two interesting things. None of the Elders from her original Judicial Committee were still in our congregation. That meant that we would have to assign three new Elders to handle this case. The second thing I noticed was a comment written on the outside of the sealed envelope. It said, "Not to be reinstated."
In thought to myself, "what could this sister have done that would cause such rejection". I opened the file and read everything. It seems that she was meeting every six months with the Elders in her new congregation requesting reinstatement. I saw the pervious letters from her congregation and the response from the Elders on the committee in our congregation. In each case our Elders made the same arguments that she should not be reinstated. The 'sin' she committed was worse than apostasy. I was shocked beyond belief.
We had an Elders meeting after the Watchtower Study on Sunday. I brought up this issue and read the letter from the sister's congregation Judicial Committee to our whole body of Elder. They were shocked too. They did not realize that this was going on so long.
It was explained to me that when a letter from the sister's current congregation would come in requesting reinstatement, it was turned over to one of the Elders who was on the original Judicial Committee. In time each Elder moved, so it was down to one Elder who held by the original decision. He would simply write up the rejection letter, run it by a couple of other Elders for signature, and send it back. He had moved a few months earlier, and so was not here to handle it.
The rest of the Elders really could not remember her offense except that one Elder vaguely remembered signing the last rejection letter. But he could not recall the offense or the basis for rejection of her reinstatement.
I was asked what the sin was since I had read the file. I restated the offense, but I did not discuss the basis for rejection of reinstatement. I told the body that in light of the other Judicial Committee BEGGING for her reinstatement, that they must not see this sin the same way. So, I said that unless our individual or collective consciences could see why she should remain disfellowshipped, then I felt we should reinstate. I asked if any could recall a Scripture or even a publication that would require such rejection of her.
They all looked around at each other and at me with dumbfounded stares. No one could see why she should not be reinstated. They agreed that whatever the original reasoning, it must not be that important or they would surely remember it. In their minds this sister was long forgotten, and one Elder commented, "If she is a problem, then she is now their problem, and not ours, so yea, let's reinstate." We took a vote of the whole body, and it was unanimous to reinstate.
I went home right away and drafted a very kind reinstatement letter and included an apology for the past decision and tried to explain how it all happened. Through that letter to her congregation Judicial Committee, I strongly welcomed the sister back into the congregation and wished her well.
I then drove around that evening and had the other members of the Service Committee sign the letter. I dropped it off at the post office inside mail slot. I wanted to be sure it went out right away before someone changed their mind.
Normally, we would have selected a new Judicial Committee to review the letter for reinstatement and the Judicial file. But given that we had an Elders meeting, and the other Elders were agreeable to discuss the matter, then our collective action was all that was necessary in lieu of a formal Judicial Committee.
{b]You are wondering what the sin was and why it was deemed worse than apostasy, such that the recommendation on the Judicial file said, "Not to be reinstated.”
This sister was very much in love with her husband and was devastated when he left her for another woman. He was not disfellowshipped for this. He left her in a financial mess and he was poor about paying any kind of support. "Deadbeat Dad" as the rest of the world would call it.
She became so distressed at the rejection and loss of her marriage that one evening she went out for some drinks at a local bar. She picked up a man and had sexual relations with him. After this, the same evening, she went out and found another man and had sex with him too. She came to her senses and I believe that she was the one that initiated contact with the Elders to hear the matter. Well, yes, she sinned.
But, why would they decide that she should never be reinstated? It seems two factors entered into their decision. One Elder pointed out that when she met with the Elders, she had gone out in Field Service earlier that day and she commented that she felt closer to Jehovah than ever.
He argued, therefore, that she was evil and wicked because she should have been too ashamed to be seen in public at the doors and she had no business feeling close to Jehovah. He said that she should have even been too afraid to pray until after she met with the Elders.
The second argument was that she went out to a bar and then ended up having sex twice in the same evening with two different men. He said that she therefore, PLANNED this event and was acting in a deliberate and calculating manner. She was not just acting out of impulse or weakness, but that she had become as wicked as a harlot. He then cited a number of Watch Tower articles about wickedness and the Judicial committee agreed that she should never be reinstated.
I totally disagreed with his arguments. She was devastated and between drinking and being emotionally out of sync, she needed to see a licensed counselor to determine why she engaged in self-destructive behavior.
What about her feeling close to Jehovah and going out in Field Service the day she met with the Judicial Committee? Many JWs who have been in front of a committee or any person who has gone to a pastor or priest or a trusted friend will often fell closer to God after facing their problem and feeling repentant. And for JWs, they are taught that the Elders look to see if you are still at meetings and Field Service as an indication of "good works" that lead to repentance. Since the time between her "sin" and the Judicial Committee meeting was short, she could only go out that Saturday. She was simply trying to do what she could to show how sorry she was.
What these Elder did who disfellowshipped her was to impose some standards in a rigid sense that totally ignored reality of human behavior. This sister begged not to be disfellowshipped. She should never have been disfellowshipped. She suffered for well over 5 years with this hardship. She stayed in town for a couple of years trying to get reinstated, but to no success. She moved. Her effort to get reinstated through another congregation took another 3 years.
The sad thing is she never knew that the original Judicial Committee had noted that she should never be reinstated on the charge of "Wickedness.” She likely would have abandoned all efforts had she known this. And had the original Judicial Committee still been around, she may have gone many more years trying to be reinstated. All the time suffering without any friends or support.
Jesus came into this world to save sinners.[/b] He said to the religious leaders of his day regarding a woman, who was a harlot, "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone".
Amazing