by seven006 46 Replies latest jw friends
I didn't know there was more to come!! Thanx for continuing. I just got one question (and you can call me an ideot if you want)
Nine months later my youngest son Emery was born.
You seem to be implying that you got your ex-wife pregnant. Is that right?
Wow Dave, I didn't realize that you were sharing more of your life story.
Thank you for taking the time to share all of this with us in such a candid fashion.
Best,
Paul
wow. I've cut and pasted your story and shown it to my wife. She was impressed.
CZAR
stillexelder,
Ya,..what you just said. The really bad part is after five years of being divorced and moving away to Laguna Beach to try and figure it all out, I moved back to Oregon and married her again. I loved my sons and I wanted to have a bigger part in rasing them. It lasted about a year before she took me for everything I had, a second time. The story about my stupidity gets even worse. Ya live and learn. Some of us are just slow learners.
Badger,
Sorry to hear you are having a hard time with things. No matter how bad someone treats you or what anyone does to you just remember, they can't eat you, that's illegal. Hang in there.
Carrie,
We are always here for you sweetheart. You have my number, just don't call at 2:45 in the morning like....well... you know. Are you still driving Walter crazy? Great big hug.
Lee,
You're right. Balance has been a priority for me for a long time. I have swung from one far end to the other. I'm happy now that I am more centered. The highs aren't as high, but the lows also aren't as low either. My life is now simple and somewhat boring. I like it that way.
Core,
Unfortunately I have very little emotion in me when I write the parts of this story. Most of my emotions have been sucked out of me as you will see as I write more installments. It's kind of peaceful in a way and I have found happiness in the quiet numbness of it all. Life is kind of funny as long as you can keep laughing at yourself
Undecided,
Thank you. I am very peaceful where I am now in my life. I have learned and experienced as much as some could have in two lifetimes. Some of us with a bit thicker brains and skins need to touch the harsher things in life before we can appreciate the softer things. It's all about balance.
Michelle,
Sorry to hear about your friend. I know with some people like myself the old saying about it being the darkest before the dawn fits what I went through. Some of us just need to see that for ourselves. In answer to your question, I don't know. At the time I went through this I did not have anyone around that understood what I was going through, especially myself and I was going through it. People who care about others play a balancing game of trying to help but not trying to look like they are interfering.
Several years after the experience I just posted about I was back on the edge again. I had taken my 357 magnum hand gun out, loaded it and set it on the kitchen counter. I was tired of my life and just wanted to go to sleep. A good friend of mine started to read into something I had been saying a few days before and he knew I had just split with my ex-wife for the second time. He came over unexpectedly that night and just on his own gut feeling and his love fore me as a friend walked into my house, walked up to the kitchen counter and took my gun. I just sat there thinking what in the hell made him come over, I hadn't said a word to him.
He held my gun up so I could see it, smiled at me and just said "I'm taking this" and then he left.
Sometimes a good friend is the only thing a person has to help them see things clearer than they think they can for themselves. Frank took a chance that he might piss me off. He didn't care. He told me it was more important to him that I would be alive and possibly pissed off at him then dead and have our last conversation a friendly one. A good friend is more important than most people will ever realize. I don't think your friend could stay mad at you forever for butting in when your gut tells you too. I'm glad mine did. I am very thankful for my handful of very close friends.
Nosferatu.
Well, as much as I'd like to blame it on her mailman some times, I have to take the credit. I wouldn't give up Emery for anything in the world. He turns 18 years old this Saturday. He is a bright, funny, and sarcastic little 18 year old and I love him. I think he gets the sarcastic side of him from his mother.
Take care,
Dave
Well, alot of the same elements are the same in my story, thank god I got it out of my system in my late teens/ early twenties. Same place, too, Portland. Azzie & Dave, right there with ya with the "stuff" only w/ me it was "Whatever I could get my hands on". Bad times, but, yeah, it was theraputic & self-medicating at the same time. I wonder if our paths ever crossed in the nightclubs, Dave! Of course, I was just a snot-nosed kid w/ fake I.D.
You have my number, just don't call at 2:45 in the morning like....well... you know
Haven't I apologized enough? LOL! Sometimes, probably without really meaning to, or, maybe you just have excellent timing and a soft heart, you just cheer me right up! What you wrote down took a lot of courage. I admire you a lot. Have I told you that before?
Avi, you sound like my best friend who grew up Catholic. Compared to me, he went through hell. He used to be a homeless heroin addict and to this day will disappear for six months at a time. Not that I think you do any of that Avi but, being friends with my buddy Jeff has taught me an appreciation for others. He's a sweetie and I hope he calms the hell down soon. He's giving me an ulcer!
"Whatever I could get my hands on"
If it hadn't been for my son I would have been right there with you Avi! I came close. I'm very lucky that I have my son. He's stopped me from doing many things I shouldn't have. On top of all that, he's the only person who really loves me unconditionally. I love that little squirt!
Thanks Avi!
~Aztec
Paul,
Your welcome.
Czarofmischief,
I'm glad you wife liked it.
avishai,
I doubt if you were old enough to drink anything stronger than Mt.Dew when I was hitting the bars. On your next trip up we definitely have to go toss down a few. I think I still need to hook up with your Mom for some coffee too. Next time she is headed up to Portland tell her to give me a call. She's a good lady.
Carrie,
I would say another four of five times will do it. Iv have had a hard time going to sleep for most of my adult life. When I do get to sleep it usually takes me two to four hours after I go to bed. You called that night after I had done two all nighters (48 hours of straight working with no sleep) and I had just gone to sleep about a half hour before you called, It took me a few more hours to go back to sleep.
I forgave you for calling me at 2:45 AM a few days after the fact. But, being able to give you a hard time about it was worth the interruption. I'm nominating Walter for sainthood.
Just remember, I only give shit to people I care about.
I don't look at what I say about my past life as any exercise in courage. It is simply the truth and I am not embarrassed to talk about it. I is not who I am anymore but it was who I was at the time and that person helped me get to be the person I am today. To me, it's a matter of building inner strength by admitting my mistakes and being able to learn from them. If you hide from them, a part of your personal growth is suppressed and it makes it hard to grow and move on.
A lot of people have a very hard time admitting they were, or are wrong about anything. They see it as a sign of weakness. It is actually quite the opposite. It's a major ingredient in building up your own character and learing to be honest completely with "yourself." As a JW, we were not allowed to be completely honest with ourselves because we were never allowed to know who we really were. We were only allowed to admit we were exactly the same as the cookie cutter JW standing right next to us or on the other side of the world. That is a perfect example of cult mentality and programed cult thinking.
Take care you nut.
Dave
another four of five times will do it.
*Clears throat* Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry. Is six times enough? I have problems sleeping too hence, calling you at what would be 5:45 am my time. That's partly Ona's fault. I doubt he would own up to it though...LOL! That dude is really hard to shut up.
I only give shit to people I care about.
Great!
I'm nominating Walter for sainthood.
Bahahaha! Walter is no angel!
To me, it's a matter of building inner strength by admitting my mistakes and being able to learn from them. If you hide from them, a part of your personal growth is suppressed and it makes it hard to grow and move on.
I totally agree. One of these days I'll have the way with words that you do.
So, anyway, am I a nut or a goof? Make up your mind.
~Aztec
Nut, goof,...nut...goof....nut....goof?
I don't know, That a hard one to choose between. They are both pretty close.
Take care ya typical Midwestern blonde chick,
Dave
PS: Six times will do it, I'll give you back the battery to your cell phone now. This time try not to hot wire it to your little plastic vibrating thing.
Your story is heart wrenching, Seven006. It brought a tear to my eye, and that his unusual for this crusty old man. I love you, and I am so glad that you survived all that. Also, your writing ability is truely outstanding. I am in awe of your writing skills.
