Be strategic. Don't let your emotions or your RIGHT to take certain actions or say certain things overwhelm the need to care for yourself long term. Ultimately you want to make wise decisions that will benefit your future and your family.
Best way to deal with anger at the GB while waking up?
by CovertsadJW 20 Replies latest watchtower beliefs
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DesirousOfChange
Been there. Done that. Still have the T-Shirt.
I went through the entire gamete of emotions upon discovering TTATT, but the strongest was Anger.
1- I had/have intense anger for those who know they are lying (GB? Writing Dept? Service Dept? Teaching Dept? Corp Directors?) and know they are in the biz of selling bullshit to innocent, delusional masses. They are heartless. They are destroying/damaging 1000s or 10000s of lives, and they do not care. They are self-serving bastards. If there ever was a "hell", they should be there!
2- I discovered that I was mostly angry at myself, which is not healthy. I was angry that I had been so delusional, gullible, and uninformed. The information regarding TTATT was out there, but I fell into their trap of information control and avoided it or rationalized what I did find. Dear God, I lived through the 1975 fiasco. I know what they said would happen and I know that NOTHING happened. Why was that not enough to fully awaken everyone wo lived through that? Alas, I was young, horny, and JW World was not my highest priority at that point. I later became much more active and involved in the Cult.But even then, I ignored and rationalized the 1995 "generation" change. Finally, the overlappy thing was one of the straws! (Among other more personal issues, and often that is what it takes -- someone stabbing their finger into your eyeball.)
How to deal with this anger? Change your course, now. Regardless of your age, you have already wasted too much of your life for this Cult. Get off the hamster wheel. Start working towards your own new goals in life! Are you young enough to go back to college? Remember: "Is this life all there is?" Personally, I think, YES. So start pursing goals that gain you something in this life. There will be no Panda Petting Paradise at the end of this. If you are too advanced in age (as my wife and I decided we are) to be able to affect much change in your personal life, then concentrate on doing so for your children and grandchildren. Then, do the things that as a JW you put off "until the New World". Travel (to somewhere besides "seldom-worked-territory". Pursue a hobby (golf, flying, fishing, music, etc).
If you haven't stopped wasting your time at meetings and in Field Circus, that would be my first goal. Decide how to do it. Decided how fast you want to do it. Can you just stop. Do you need to do a moderate "fade". Do you need to "get stumbled", or discouraged, or stressed out?
If your immediate family (wife, children) has not awakened yet, set in motion a plan to help them awaken. You CANNOT make a person awaken to TTATT. They have to discover it "on their own". But you can help them to think critically about things. ASK QUESTIONS. "Sincere" questions about the issues you think will awaken them. Lack of Holy Spirit in Org Direction? Child Abuse scandals and coverups? Blood fractions? (WTF is that?) Only you can determine that. Ask questions and let them try to find the answers. (Wait on Jehovah is not an answer.)
If you end up with "Wait on Jehovah" is the best answer, then DO NOT wait "IN" the Kingdumb Hall. Quit it all. Wait it out AT HOME. Or better yet, on the golf course or at the lake, etc.
Good luck!
Doc
The greatest revenge is living a happy & successful life!
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moreconfusedthanever
I view it as a grieving process. There are 7 stages of grieving. Anger and depression included.
These feelings are normal. These feelings will pass.
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LongHairGal
COVERTSADJW:
Good luck to you in moving forward and finding peace of mind. We can all relate to the anger you feel.
DESIROUSOFCHANGE:
I also think we have to make the most of the life we have. The JW attitude is like belief in a hereafter- except they believe it will be on earth. We were put on the earth to live and not let time run out like a fistful of sand waiting for a “real” life.
What you said about getting the annoying answer: ‘wait on Jehovah’ - is what I would do. Yeah, you’ll ‘wait’ but you’ll do it at HOME and not in the hall. I know when I found out TTATT I was physically sick just being in the Kingdom Hall. Couldn’t stomach it.
I had no family there so no drama but others do. Maybe not everybody has the emotional wherewithal to get into debates with JW family members and what might work for one will not work for another. Everybody has to do what works for them.
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CovertsadJW
Thank you everyone,
My wife sees this in me ( previous post) , so I won't go down that road. I am college educated , but I would like to get an advanced degree for myself and no other reason. I would love to help my kids understand that life is very, very special and take the time to really understand who you are, what you represent, what you enjoy in life. What most people may not understand that you will change as a person as you get older, your views will change, and as you get educated it is okay to remove old belief systems that do not work any longer, take to much of your emotional input with no return. I see being a JW as a one way street only-what can you do for us- The GB does not care who we are, what we like, what our passions in life is, what makes us special in the universe. Its such a one sided cult and its amazing that I was in it for so long. But I agree with so many of the comments and I would like to thank all of you-this is my therapy. I went to a therapist, but at $ 160.00 per hour that is so expensive. I will go in the new future, but I need to have kind of a plan and goal for therapy and this is helping me. I have been in contact with Marlene Winell, Phd who started the " RTS" or Religious Trauma Syndrome-I don't live too far from her but she "Skypes". I understand that I will be going through these emotions, and I cannot let them control me, but I guess recognize as part of the process. But yes, it feels like I lost a very close person in death-seriously. I am in my 40's and have never felt like this. Thank you everyone. !!
Warm regards and carry on.
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dubstepped
$160/hour?!!!! We'll do it here for $100/hour!
Okay, I don't know if this helps or not, but a new trend seems to be online therapy through sites like talkspace.com. I've never used it, but you can do text and/or video chat, maybe more. I hear it advertised on some podcasts and it is highly recommended by the host of one show that actually uses it after years of in person therapy. He updates his own journey and seems to genuinely like it. Just a thought.
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Stealth
I took my initial anger out on a punching bag.
Then took personal responsibility for what I allowed myself to believe, spent a year reading and deprogramming myself.
I now live a fact based life and skeptical of anything that can't be proven.
I must admit there were times that I had thoughts like if I was terminally ill with 6 months to live, it would be so worth it to take one of those charlatan con men.... then once I realized it would only feed persecution complex for JWs not worth it at all. I left it all behind determined to live the rest of my life free of JW influence.
It gets better with time, but probably only if you can completely break away.
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OnTheWayOut
Buy that book, EXITING THE JW CULT. It is written by an exJW turned therapist. I wish I found it when I was angry.
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Simon
It's just deluded fools following previously deluded fools. They are still trapped in it, you are free to live your life - a real one in the real world.
Leave them to their delusion and forget all about them. There are way more important things to be concerned about that can warrant your time and energy.
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DesirousOfChange
Also, if you haven't read "Combatting Cult Mind Control" (Steven Hassan), do it now. I put off reading it for a couple years and when I finally did so, I saw that it describes the JWs perfectly (even though it was about Moonies). No one could follow the rules for being a Cult any closer than do the JWs. It CANNOT be by accident or coincidence.