My parents are out...

one_ugly_time

I have finally confirmed that my parents DA'd about 2 years ago. They haven't told me or talked to me about it. I found out through my Aunt, and confirmed it through my oldest brother who was just visiting them.

It's a BIG step in the right direction. The next few months if not years of conversations are going to be really, really emotional. I actually think I'm ready for this. I believe that I can own my own anger and help them and the rest of my family heal. Hopefully, I can get them to read this site.

Thanks everyone for all the support. I had no idea what I was going through and no idea what someone would actually have to go through to leave the borg. (I obviously never really left emotionally). It has been a very, very long struggle and everyone hear deserves some recognition in supporting my effort.

Thanks All

FlyingHighNow

Congratulations, One. This has to be a wonderful thing for you and your family, no? I wish my sister and brother would leave, too. There would be great rejoicing in my household. My kids would be happy about it, too.

Heather

one_ugly_time

Yes, FlyingHighNow, I think it's a wonderful thing. After what I have read and felt the past year, after being out for 20 years, I can only imagine the overwhelming emotions and cognitive dissonance that will be occuring. I am preparing myself for the rupture of emotions as family members vent their anger and frustrations over lost childhoods, lost dreams, and so on.

My 2 older brothers have also been out for 20 years, but they never recovered emotionally or spiritually. The sad part is that they are both extremely intelligent; but it has been wasted in a lot of respects.

My younger sister is still in and battles depression constantly. I don't know how she will handle the situation at all.

ugly

FlyingHighNow

One,

Sounds to me like your brothers need support from other exJWs to help them move on.

Your sister probably will end up out. Talk to your higher power about helping her as well as your brothers and parents. I am discovering that he/she does help out a lot of the time when asked. Especially is this true when lots of people talk to him/her on my behalf or the behalf of my kids and family.

My son told me recently(he is 19), when I apologized to him for not celebrating xmas with him and his sister, that I was a good mother to him. He told me if I had abused him or molested him then I would need to apologize. He said a parent doesn't apologize to their children for raising them in a religion they sincerely believe to be right. This is how he feels and I think it's very loving of him to be so insightful.

We only have today. I hope that your family can discuss the old issues and heal and go on to enjoy what time you have left together in this the present.

Good luck and let love rule.

Heather

one_ugly_time

Thanks Heather

My only concern is the explosion of anger. My family is loaded with it. I will take your advice and continue to maintain my sense of self and believe in kindness to resolve the issues ahead.

ugly

Double Edge

so, does this mean you're happy?

CONGRATS!

ChimChim

Congrats, I bet this BIG step will be very relieving for you. Good Luck!

C.C

Sentinel

The reuniting of family, especially parents and children, is a wonderful thing. I know there are still many unresolved issues, but this is a beginning.

I wish you all well. This is very happy news.

/<

Big Tex

Congrats O_U_T! Are you going to try to contact them? You may want to wait, but that's your call.

Take it slow and if you do make sure you have someone with you that you can talk to afterward. I haven't talked with mine in 12 years, so you don't ever have to. A lot of it depends on whether you think it will help you or not.

Chris

one_ugly_time

Double Edge

so, does this mean you're happy?

That would be affirmative.

ChimChim

Congrats, I bet this BIG step will be very relieving for you. Good Luck!

Yes, VERY BIG..

Sentinal

I know there are still many unresolved issues, but this is a beginning.

Let the Healing begin !

BigTex

Are you going to try to contact them?

I spent this week preparing and making "THE" phone call. Well, it went pretty good, but they never came out and told me they DA'd. I'm not sure why not yet.

I have been working with a counselor and doing a ton of studying. This is all really scary and difficult for me... The 1st time I tried talking about it I took a direct approach with my mom. It didn't work too well, so I stepped back and let things die down. That was about 6 months ago when I had the feeling, but no one would confirm. So I did some studying, meditating, and deep, deep childhood work. I found a side door . I had a vision of my paternal grandfather in a Shriners hat. So I did as much research as I could on Freemasons and Shriners (and coincidently, if you call it that, had just finished reading DaVinci Code and am reading The Illuminati Trilogy. So, all mentally prepared, I buzzed off an email to my mom and asked her out of the blue if any of our ancestors when Masons/Shriners. [Mind you, I haven't talked to my dad but once in about 5 years]. She emailed me back, real short and sweet, "I think so". Bingo ! I called my mom and asked her who? She said my grandfather on my dads side. Cool. So I got my dad to talk, through my mom, about what he remembered, if anything. FINALLY, he got on the phone and talked to me !!!! For 3 minutes !!! The closest 3 minutes I have ever had with my father. He ended up inviting me down so we could sit and talk. OMG ! I think he was crying when I started talking how the Shriners use cult training, secrets, everything I could slip in that sounded like JW's.

Then I nicely explained that I have researched every religion possible, naming cults and religions inter-mixed and told him that I finally figured out that I simply don't believe like the JW's; but to each his own. I also said something to the effect that "He must not have a real good understanding of religion if his father was in a secret society and he has been in the same one all his life". Well, I'm pretty sure I penetrated. I am going to wait patiently for a phone call or email. I give him 2-3 weeks tops. I feel certain I hit a nerve sideways.

ugly

Funny thing is -- My dad swears he never saw his dad wear his hat and that he has never told a soul about it; so he was totally shocked to hear my question. Very, very cool.

My parents are out...

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