by codeblue 33 Replies latest jw experiences
adultry, fronication, smoking, the things that ocupy the elders time.
I had a friend that came into org in their 20's. They fell in love with an established jw and married them and well my friends spouse wasn't evn baptized was just devasted. The spouse never returned to org.
Jws want to be with other JWS, so it hapens all the time that unbelieving mates get dumped.
Mine cheated on me just not with a JW. I don't know if this is true or not but i think that if someone is raised a jw many have snuck around and fooled around before they got married. Then when they get married that "thrill" of sneaking around is lost and they loose the fire in the marrage. They want that feeling again and will do what ever it takes to get that feeling again.
Anyway i am sorry for your pain that you are feeling now. I wish there was a magic pill that we could give you so that you would not hurt anymore. I always hold a special place in my heart for people who find out their spouses have cheated on them. It is the time in your life that you need friends more than ever to help you make it. We will always be here for you when you need to vent.
REAL BROTHERLY LOVE
Clint
Hi!
Yes, my ex-wife cheated on me with an elder who was separated from his unbelieving wife. It gave them the "scriptural divorce" out they needed in order to marry each other. They were both privately reproved and are now living happily ever after. What's weird is that before these two could marry each other, the CO said that the elder had to go back to his estranged unbelieving wife, tell her what he had done, and see if she would forgive him! God, I wish I could have been there to see her face! He later told me that she burst out laughing!
CyrusThePersian
Not experienced it personally.
But know other JW's it has happened to.
Remember some years ago the married son of an Elder committed adultery with a married sister. They were disfellowshipped, got divorced, married each other, got reinstated in a year. Later they said they had planned to do it like that so that they could get divorced and married. Heard others had done the same.
Recently heard of JW brother had been disfellowshipped for the third time, for immorality. When I was in congregation he was an MS, and pioneer. He was about 25-30 at the time, had the usual pioneer window cleaning round one of those brothers who thought he was Gods gift to the congregation. Well it seems that on his window cleaning round he was doing more than cleaning one womans windows . He was found out, disfellowshipped, seems it had been going on for a long while. His wife divorced him. He kept coming to meetings and going for reinstatement so he could see his child. Did same thing a couple of years later, and now again recently. Speaking to his brother, who is not a JW, a couple of months ago, he said his brother used to go on about the women customers who he had bedded. Yet at the same time being so "spiritual" in field service and he was a MS giving talks etc. Hypocrite.
Freelife: Thanks for you kind, caring words. I am sorry your ex wife treated you in such an unloving way. I am healing...but it takes a while. My first husband cheated with a JW and also with several "worldly" people, even though he was a JW...no conscience, no heart. After he was reinstated he married one of my study's.
Cyrus: Thanks for sharing your experience as well...
I want to add as someone raised as as a JW, I never had sex till I got married...believe it or not...it is true.
The silver lining to this story is how I met Mr. CB. He lived in Canada...far away from me. He took a road trip in the US and stopped at the restaurant where I worked. We both found out we were raised as JW's and at the same time going thru a hurtful divorce...both had spouses that don't know the meaning of : loyalty.When we first started talking, we both did not understand the concept of being UNFAITHFUL. (wow, this drew me to him almost ASAP. I had always been faithful to my husband and never understood his cheating ways.) He had been married 16 years, with 3 teenagers,. He was almost an elder when he first wife left him. He received NO support from the elder body whatsoever. I had been married almost 20 years with 2 sons. Eight months later, we were married...this March will be our 4th anniversary!
We both have had our rose colored glasses removed about the "truth"....it has been almost a year since we both started this new journey.
I want to thank all who have responded and who continue to respond to this thread. Thanks for the caring responses and I also want to share my care to those that have suffered from the same problem. Life will get better...just takes time.
Codeblue
Gosh the troof sure is entertaining aint it?????? You never hear of such goings on anywhere else! I love the fact that everyone knows you have the old "lets get together, hop on the backfoot and do the wild thing, wreck innocent people's lives, get disfellowshipped, get married and then come back in as repentent goodies and get back into it", clause. Everyone sniggers and knows that they will be back in once they are publicy reproved. It happens so much that it really is a sham! What used to get my goat was the poor spouse that got left behind whether they were a dub or not. No one never mentioned them or gave another thought about them, boy thats such true love aint it!
I thought a prerequiste for being a JW is cheating with someone else from the congregation. I was the only one of my family to marry a "worldly". All three of my brothers got married to JW's and all three got divorced. I have stayed married for twenty years. Some of the people I've known through the years are on their 3rd or 4th marriages to different witnesses. pc
I haven't experienced it just yet; but there was one sister that told me to watch out for my husband because there were hungry voltures surrounding him at the meetings when I didn't attend.
So, should he become weak, the possibility sure is there. At this point in life I feel pretty secure with my man, but one never knows.
I'm the type that feels very happy when with a man, but have been pretty happy as well when I've been single. So, no worries either way here.
SY here, DY elsewhere.
Humm, that never applied to me; but there was an awful lot of that type of behavior within our congregation..with mature brothers dallying with younger sisters, married and unmarried. There is just no way to hush up that type of scandalous behavior in a group of people in a small town. However, most times, it was the JW wife who had to step up to the plate and forgive her husband. Some privileges would be taken away from the brother, but I don't remember of any brother, other than one, actually being df'd for that.
There were some very sad circumstances involved in these issues. Many unhappy wives who saw no way out and just had to do what elders told them they should to keep the marriage together and save face in the congregation.
/<
for some reason I feel like Im in the studio audience of Jerry Springer.....
sin now and repent later, seriously, I CANNOT wait to read COC. Its been on order for 5 weeks.
The stories told here hit harder than any non-jw divorce/break-ups. I thought part of being "in" the truth was the security and trust between couples. Devils and Demons are at work.
