Chances Are....

Sentinel

After trying to build up my mom's blood count with "iron shots" and diet, and unsuccessfully still having it hover below "14", (which is unacceptable) her doctor discussed with a family member, that she is now considerably too high risk for any surgery. Of course, this is due to her faithful adherence to no whole blood.

So, she has hung on many years, waiting for Armageddon to come and solve her health issues. Now she really needs to have this operation, but it looks like it won't be happening.

Chances are she will continue to live another 2-4 years, with increasing loss of quality of life. The "iron shots" will cease, as they were given only because surgery was going to happen. They cost about $2,000. each, and insurance will not continue to pay for them. Her renewed energy level right now is due to those shots every two weeks.

Well, she is 80 this July. Still, there will always be that lingering thought, that had she sought care for her own health issues, gone to the doctor, gotten the surgery when she was first told she needed it, that the blood issue would have not been so paramount as to keep her from surgery. She waited because she is so inclined to do that with her belief system. She continues to wait and wait and wait. It is her great faith in Jehovah that gives her strength. So many years of faithful service.

This has been so difficult on the family...first with her indecision about whether or not to have surgery at all, coupled with surgery scheduled in December, and then cancelled by the doctor at the last minute. He didn't wish to be responsible for her dying on his table. Who can blame him? Of course, we are being shunned, so things are emotional because she will continue to live, only to continue to shun her children. If she got the operation and was pronounced "well", there would be no "health update" calls from her, as she would have no "valid" reason to contact us. She uses the "health" thing to "feel justified". Now that is sad. Well, it does look like she will be communicating with us on a limited and rotating basis, about her health updates...that will be something we can look forward to, at least...for as long as she continues to be with us in this life.

/<

Country Girl

We had the same thing with my Mother. She was much younger, but because of the blood issue, it created a lot of complex issues between doctors, precarious health, etc. There is a doctor that is a JW that does bloodless surgery. He is in Texas. Not sure if this would help, but give me a PM if you think it would. I wish the best for your Mother and your family.

CG

cruzanheart

I'm sorry, Sentinel. I know how frustrated you are, but it's her decision. Be strong.

Love,

Nina

Sentinel

CG, I do appreciate your post about the doctor in Texas; however, the problem is not that the doctor is unwilling to do "bloodless surgery". He has operated on many a JW with no problem. The problem is that no doctor in good conscience, wants to operate if the blood count is below 14--only if it is a life and death matter, should such an emergency surgery occur. This is not considered that type of surgery at this point.

My mom is choosing "life", even if she will suffer until she passes away. It may be two years; it may be four years more that she has. Honestly, I would certainly hate to have to make such a decision myself.

Her anemia has been a life-long problem for her, and she has not always taken care of herself. She always placed my dad above her needs and rarely tended to hers. Since dad died in '01, she began to see the need to address her health, with many tests that revealed her serious heart problems...but alas, with her age and her low blood, selective surgery to repair her heart with hopes of added years of life and good quality of living, is just beyond her reach. She would not survive the surgery.....she is simply too old and too anemic.

Nina....thanks hun. It is hard and constantly tugs and pulls at my heartstrings. She would be taking an awful chance to get this surgery under these circumstances, and the doctor wants to have successful operations. He is a good man, a good doctor, who has taken a real liking to mom....he told my brother that if it were his mother, he would be against the surgery. He doesn't want her to die on his table. Her great faith has really moved him. I believe he was thinking that she would give in and accept whole blood. Now he realizes that will not happen.

/<

Mulan

There is a bloodless clinic in Seattle too. It sounds to me like a new surgeon should be found.

So sorry you are going through this.

Sassy

A bloodless hospital is a good idea. Would the Insurance cover a move to a new location?

This can't be easy. I'm sorry this is happening for you. On the positve side, you are right, it allows her to communicate with you regarding her health. Sad that we need a severe situation for permission to talk to our loved ones. My mom would be the same way.

How is your husband doing? Didn't he fall and get hurt and have Xrays showing something you didn't know about? I seem to recall?

Sentinel

Sassy, thanks for asking about my hubby. We went to get that PET scan done last Friday (an all-day process), and we are waiting for the results, which we should have by tomorrow. We are going to search for a surgeon in the less-metropolitan area of Winchester, because traveling there is a better option than all the stress of traffic in this area. The PET test was done there, and we really liked the new hospital. It is rather new and has all the latest equipment, etc. The surgeons have offices right next to the hospital in a new facility. He says he will feel more comfortable being there. It is only an hour away.

Someone at his office told him of a lady who had something very similar happen to her. She had open chest surgery to remove the growth and was in the hospital seven days. Her pain was just awful afterwards and she lost some thirty-five pounds, but she is completely healed now. This was some good and positive news for him.

In some ways, I am relieved not to have to deal with mom getting an operation, as my stress level was up high prior to the latest word on her situation. Now I can concentrate on what is happening with hubby. One day at a time.

/<

TheSilence

Hi, Sentinel,

Sorry for the rough time you're having.

I don't know anything about anemia or exactly what makes blood counts low and such... and I'm not a doctor... but I can tell you the following is what my Grandma and my Mom did and it seemed to help them out. That certainly doesn't mean it will work in your mom's situation... but I thought I'd share in case it does.

When my Grandma had cancer and her blood counts would get low they would make her drink this stuff that made her really queasy and she hated it. So she did a little research and decided that every time she had to go to the doctor to have her blood counts taken she would start eating banannas. Not sure why, but there it is. She never had low blood counts once she started doing this.

When my Mom had cancer I shared this little fact with her and she decided to start adding banannas to her diet as well. Only once was her blood count low, and they were pretty sure that was only because she had an infection where they had removed one of her lymph nodes and it wasn't draining properly and making her very sick. The rest of the time they seemed pretty impressed at how high her blood counts remained.

Anyway, like I said, I don't know anything about *why* this worked or if it would work in your Mom's situation, but I thought I would pass along the information in case.

I hope things get better for you all around, I know it's rough to deal with.

Jackie

alias

(((Sentinel)))

I echo the sentiments of the others. My thoughts are with you.

alias

Sentinel

Thank you all for your loving thoughts and concern...Mulan, Jackie and Alias.

Jackie, I not heard about the "banana" having that affect. (I am assuming that they ate the bananas BEFORE they began fasting.) Your information is very interesting. The thing is, mom has always loved bananas, so I'm sure she eats them. Just "when" she eats them, I'm not sure. If she didn't live over 1,000 miles from me, I'd sure take her a bunch of them ...just to make sure.

Mom really loves her heart doctor, and he is top of the line in the area of FL where she lives. She trusts him. My brother says he seems to be very professional and knowledgeable and was also very impressed, when he went to visit in December, and accompanied my mom to her weekly visit. Also recently, with the latest info, my brother had a wonderful phone conversation with him.

Taking mom elsewhere at her age wouldn't work. Number one, she is shunning us--all except my brother and he lives 3,000 miles from her. She has a strong mind and is very opinionated, and would let him know if she wanted to look for another doctor elsewhere. She doesn't. She has her JW sister with her and they are not only sisters, but best friends. She wouldn't want to be separated from her either.

Thanks for all the suggestions. Guess it's totally out of my control.

/<

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