Is it possible to stay friends?

by Fe2O3Girl 18 Replies latest social relationships

• 

  Sassy

  it depends on your relationship.. if you just dated and it never got deep, friendship is possible.. but if there was a deep relationship, even marriage, then pain comes with that when the breakup happens..

  I have seen it happen when friendship can be there after.. but most often it doesn't happen.

  I am civil to my first husband because we do have children and he may answer the phone when I call.....I try to remind myself when I hear his voice not of the horrible things he did to me, but the human side of him I can remember with almost fondness. It helps a little so I am not snotty to him.. now my recent ex husband.. there is NOTHING to say between us. He said he wanted to still be friends, but that was a lie. I didn't believe it for a second.. I told him when he left to get out of my life. Once he signed the divorce papers I told him to never contact me again or I'd get a restraining order. (there was harrasment in between to deserve that comment)..
• 

  Doubtfully Yours

  In this regard, I take the drastic approach. When the loving relationship is over, it's really OVER!

  "If I see you, look away 'cause I don't know you"

  DY - Yeah, I know it's too drastic but it's the way that works in my case.
• 

  Maverick

  Aside from guest 77,(and he was talking about his mother-in-law) most of the guys say no! Most of the ladies...and notice I did not say all, think they can be friends. Politically correct...but BS none the less! Maverick
• 

  detective

  mav,

  I'm female but I'm told I'm somewhat "man"-ish about these things. I don't really look back. There are a couple of guys who I probably would be friendly with (for occasional visits) but for the most part I leave the past in the past. I'd rather have a few fond memories than struggle with maintaining friendships that might just cause discord with our respective significant others now. If the fat lady has sung, I won't be clamoring for an encore.
• 

  Robdar

  Aside from guest 77,(and he was talking about his mother-in-law) most of the guys say no! Most of the ladies...and notice I did not say all, think they can be friends. Politically correct...but BS none the less! Maverick

  Hmm, Maverick, my exes are guys. It wasn't just my idea--they wanted to remain friends also. No need to make this a pc ladies thing. It isn't. It all depends on the individuals involved.
• 

  sandy

  I think in most cases it is not possible. Like Robn said it depends on the individuals involved.

  I know that I will eventually have to let go of my ex. He thinks we can remain friends if we just give ourselves time but I know him and myself. We will never really get over each other if we try to be "just friends"

  In my experience, it drags out the pain of the break up, and you just get on each other's nerves. If you liked each other that much, why break up? What do you think?

  I agree with this 100%.
• 

  Maverick

  Hey, as a man I don't like having my mistakes shoved in my face. And past relationships and the things that made them PAST relationships are just reminders of my flaws! And who needs that! If the guy is honest and if he is really over the lady, he does not want to hang with her. He may be nice and sweet to her face but in his heart he ain't happy! Maverick...I guess I have a deeper standard for friendship!
• 

  eyegirl

  the circumstances of the breakup certainly contribute to whether or not you can remain friends after. if the relationship didn't work out due to certain circumstances rather than serious flaws with either individual, i believe it to be more likely.
• 

  Maverick

  Bottom line this, if she dumped him and he handled it well, at least appeared to anyway she will want to think they are "still friends". If he did not, well then he's a jerk and can rot in Hell!

  If he dumped her and she still has feelings, when she will see them as friends. If she got pissed and angry...he can rot in Hell!

  The person in emotional control of the situation will dictate how the whole thing is looked upon. The other person goes along or goes away! Maverick