see this is the thing, on the one hand I could say that I was a real pain in the butt so when i have kids I will be super vigilent but thinking about it Clare and I have decided to be honest and give them some leeway so long as they let us know what they are up to.
Point in case would be smoking. I started when I was 14 and up til then I had always said I would never smoke. I stopped smoking 3 months ago, so 17 1/2 years later. Now can I turn round to my kids and forbid them to smoke or would it be more productive to say 'ok, you can smoke but this is what happens if you do'. To be honest I'm not sure if this would work but if the kid is going to smoke then there's no way you can physically stop them, so what do you do?