Women ....

by Celtic 54 Replies latest jw friends

  • Celtic
    Celtic

    Women.

    They're a rummily scrumptious lot.

    Take breasts for example. From a mans point of view, how much better can life be, when you got a beautiful pair of scrumptious breasts to kiss and cuddle upto.

    If God was a breast, I'd love Him to bits.

    Breasts. They're ruddy funny things. I do love em, but implanted with those wotsits and I'd run a mile.

    Breasts. Warm, comforting, wobbly - you gotta love the damn things. If they're a bit of a handful, some might say, all the better, me? I prefer medium sized melons myself. But tas been fair while since I laid my hands on any. Even if I were to place my hands on any, on a regular basis, I think I'd still be inclined to write about them, they're just soooo beautiful.

    Butts are cool and handsome too. A nice pretty butt swaying down the street on a nice fit chick, now that's a sight to behold.

    I wonder what it is like being a woman and pretty at that.

    If I had breasts I'd want them neither too big and cumbersome nor too small and non existent.

    I wonder what it's like walking through rome with a pretty tight ass.

    Ruddy dickens, I can half write some tripe sometimes, but what the ruddy hell.

    Yes, breasts are gorgeous.

    How do you rate your breasts or the breasts of your lover?

    Celtic harumphin' with laughter ...

  • Yerusalyim
    Yerusalyim

    Women....

    Can't live with em....

    Can't live with em!

    My mates breastesses...the nice medium size one you speak of, and holding up quite nicely for a gal of 45 who's pop out three younguns...

    She's lactating again too, though her youngest will be sixteen in February...guess that's my fault...I do pay them a bit of attention.

  • flower
    flower

    I once was having an argument with a guy and I said 'If I were a MAN I would at least TRY to learn about what woman want and need!" And he said, "Well, If I were a WOMAN, I'd..I'd..actually I'd probably lay in bed all day and play with my breasts".

  • hillary_step
    hillary_step

    Celtic,

    That you title your thread 'Women' and then spend your first post on the subject discussing just their breasts convinces me that you are the person sending all that spam to my email inbox. Stop it now!

    ......Or you are lonely and the magazines no longer fulfil your dreams

    HS

  • outoftheorg
    outoftheorg

    If I, being a man, had breasts like my wife, I wouldn't get a damned thing done.

    I would spend all my time looking down the inside of my shirt.

    Outoftheorg, a certified boob admirer.

  • Leolaia
    Leolaia
    If God was a breast, I'd love Him to bits.

    Maybe you're not aware of this text where God says: "I fashioned their members: my own breasts I prepared for them, that they might drink my holy milk and live thereby I took pleasure in them and am not ashamed of them: For my workmanship are they and the strength of my thoughts: Who then shall rise up against my handiwork, or who is there that is not subject to them? (Odes of Solomon 8:17-20). This Christian book was written at the end of the first century and shows some similarities with the Gospel of John. Here is another striking text, where Solomon says: "A cup of milk was offered to me: and I drank it in the sweetness of the delight of the Lord. The Son is the cup and He who was milked is the Father: And the Holy Spirit milked Him: because His breasts were full, and it was necessary for Him that His milk should be sufficiently released; and the Holy Spirit opened His bosom and mingled the milk from the two breasts of the Father and gave the mixture to the world without their knowing." (19:1-4)

  • FlyingHighNow
    FlyingHighNow
    and the Holy Spirit opened His bosom and mingled the milk from the two breasts of the Father and gave the mixture to the world without their knowing." (19:1-4)

    Okay, here is an argument for God being a her. I've always wondered if some man didn't change things to read that God was a him.

  • patio34
    patio34

    Welllll, it may be that larger breasts are a possible danger to women and completely unnecessary. Here's what I wrote last summer about it (not to rain on your musings Celtic--methinks you need a woman maybe).

    Here's a really far-fetched, entertaining, unproveable (but maybe DISprovable!) theory I've been mulling over:

    Point #1: Large breasts may be superfluous in women. (source: The Third Chimpanzee by Pulitzer-Prize winner, Jared Diamond). Chimps and some other mammals can nurse young fine with practically flat chests. According to him, therefore, breast size (and penis length too ) is probably due to sexual selection and preference, rather than survival needs.

    Point #2: Men rarely get breast cancer due to so little breast tissue. (source: I don't know, I read it somewhere a while back.)

    Possible conclusion: if it hadn't been for great-great-great (squared!) grandpa some 40,000 or more years ago favoring "hooters" on women, then women wouldn't have these superfluous mounds that are prone to lumps, cysts, and cancer!!

    Anyway, back to your praising of the female form, lol.

    Pat

  • dh
    dh

    i read somewhere that men who were breast fed as babies have more of a fondness & attachment to breasts when they grow up.

    i was breast fed and i like to play with breasts all day

    (edited because i forgot my shades)

  • Celtic
    Celtic

    Some of you tickle me pink with your replies, Patio34 on my Godddddd,.

    Well.

    I've drunk tountamount to 3 litres of strong 6% cider, I've rung up Yerusalym on the phone, left Cornish accent on his anwering machine and am suffiently pissed to feed well upon the fruits of the wantoness of breasts, for the rest of the evening, into the wee small hours. Spliff. Nowwwwwww.!!!

    I wonder sometimes, how you collectively and individually interpret/misinterpret my posts, with my accent.

    Cornish. Tis funny accent I can tell ee. Is ee on what I think he's goin orn bout or is ee orn someting (silent i), something completely differentttt?

    Ruddy hell.

    Yeru darling, what do my Cornish accent sound like 'pon telephone contraption?

    Tonight, rather than writing this, I wish I was cuddled up snuggly to breasts. Cos' I beleive breasts are the absolute truth, true love, ask God, He knows according to Hilary above.

    I like Hilary Step, she always did kick lots of ass.

    More cider.

    More Spliffage.

    ---

    I searched and I found

    But not that, that which I was searching for

    It came

    It hit me

    Straight from the wilderness

    I knew not from whence it's direction

    But it felt good

    Tasted pleasant

    With the warmth of angels dancing upon dappled sunlit misty waters

    We brought together our kindred spirits

    Softly gently our fingers joined

    Joined together in an intimate twine of love and friendship

    We had found the road we were searching for.

    ---

    Yeah, all ruddy well & good, but where the dickens are the breasts?

    ---

    Could breasts be viewed as idolatry, therefore, just what the friggin hec was on God's mind when he created them and on top of breasts, what further possibilities did He come to, before deciding on the final design solution? Whichever way ....

    Whichever way you look at them, He did an Almighty Fine Job of them.

    Breasts.

    Oooo La La ....

    Celtic Mark, West Cornwall

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