Bethel was the beginning of the end for me as well. I volunteered for 2 weeks at the farm to help on construction/remodeling and what I saw was enough to make me never go back and question why I was a pioneer. Of course, that month I got to count the time at Bethel for volunteering. Funny, I don't remember placing any magazines but what really sucked was that for the whole 2 weeks, I could only count like 50 hours. I still had to get another 20 hours in that month, plus make up for the fact that I didn't make any money for 2 weeks and also for the cost of driving up there to Walkhill. The whole time I was there I felt very uncomfortable and like I was always watching everything I did from how I dressed to what I said. Plus, the hours really sucked, waking up 6 in the morning was not fun, going to breakfast to eat, but I could hardly eat because of all that "spiritual food." Then you had to work over 8 hours and then I went to some local hall in the evening that took an hour to get to meaning that I didn't get home to like 11 at night only to do the same thing the next day. No time to think really with that kind of schedule. Mostly everyone I ran into seemed kind of fake or too preoccupied with how they would pay for gas or luxuries like clothes. I was planning to hand in my full time application when I was there but this 2 week experience so turned me off that by the next year I was no longer pioneering and after that no longer going to meetings. I did meet some sincere people when I was there including my other 2 week volunteer roomate who was from Oregon and a young kid around my age who was originally from Maine. This kid, who worked in the automotive section at Walkhill was the most revealing about how life went down at Walkhill and in some cases just how pathetic it was to live there. Looking for something to do on the weekend: me, my volunteer roomate, and the bethelite kid decided to drive to NYC to go to Little China to pick up a car stereo for his really old VW Golf that was like two colors but had huge speakers in the back. By the way, he was always getting in trouble for playing his car radio too loud or getting speeding tickets. The kid basically had no money but did manage to get some from his family, and friends in his local hall in upstate New York. Odds are that if you live near Walkhill or relatively close, your hall will have some Bethelites attending and from what I heard, those members in the hall would often try to help out those Bethelites either financially or in some other means. Another Bethelite in my work crew who was a little older got an old Chrysler MiniVan from someone in his hall. Anyways, this kid from Maine who was a Bethelite said he had enough. He was moving out-no future he said. He was always being harassed by the powers that be, he had no social life-he had a girl friend but it was almost impossible to see her and of course he had no money. He told me that his roomate was a real tool-i.e.-complete Bethel Nerd. His roomate, who was his age and mine, around 20, but would call it a night around 8 on non-meeting nights and before that would spend his time reading the Bible and other publications methodically along with religiously listening to the kingdom melodies. Fun indeed. The kid from Maine also told me that he was behind in his Bible reading and was sort of in trouble for it-had to go to some special meeting(the first year at Bethel you have to read the whole Bible among other things)-I don't know why he just didn't say, "yeah, I did my reading"-who would know-God?, the governing body? The whole experience was a complete nightmare-and of course I never did hand in that full time application, thank goodness. Instead, after the two week stint, I took a mini road trip up to Boston and then back home to think about the whole affair.