song 287: Move Your Buttocks

by gitasatsangha 10 Replies latest social humour

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  gitasatsangha

  (another song suggestion: a revamp to an old Jahova classic, same music)

  move your ass
  move your ass
  till twenty-thirty-four
  its the will of our god
  this world lingers on some more

  joyfully keep on milking your retirement fund
  for there is much work to be done

  we have to slave for the kingdom, it's true
  Jesus is busy so you'll have to do!
  don't make God Jehovah destroy you
  and then you'll know love that's divine

  move your ass
  move your ass
  till twenty-thirty-four
  just like in seventy five
  only fiftynine years more

  you'll find the time will go by so fast
  when you disown fam'ly,friends and past

  though wicked hearts among you e'en say
  "I'll kick the bucket long before that day!"
  for your offspring to be programmed do always pray
  and then you'll know joy that's divine

  move your ass
  move your ass
  to twenty-thirty-four
  for a delay of game
  is chance to even the score

  shove some older issues in an old mailbox
  and hope that no one answers your knocks

  though the Faithful Slave treats you like shit
  just be thankful for the manna you get
  and beware of sites on the internet
  and then you'll know nothing! (that's divine).
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  willyloman

  Dude! My new favorite song.
• 

  Nosferatu

  move your ass
  move your ass
  till twenty-thirty-four

  ROTFLMFAO!!! You had me busting a gut by this point!

  e'en

  OMFG!!! You used a bastardized JW word!!
• 

  joenobody

  Ah yes "e'en" - the lousy WT songwriter's best friend to a two syllable problem lyric - make a new contraction!
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  Nosferatu

  One line i remember from a Kingdom Melody was "the whole world o'er". I remember repeatedly seeing that and thinking, "can they do that?"
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  Euphemism

  ROFL! Great stuff.
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  gitasatsangha

  my favorite kingdom melody contractions were "heav'n" (not to be confued with it's rarer sibling heavn's) and giv'n.

  thanks for all your kind comments.

  -lighting up a bowl for god's kingdom.
• 

  bebu

  I think it'd be even better if the last verse was written:

  Though the Faithful Slave treats you like shit
  just be thankful for the manna you gitand beware of sites on the internit
  and then you'll know nothing! (that's divine).

  But I enjoyed this very much--and I don't even know the melody!!

  I've heard that "Kingdom Melodies" are often awkward in their lyrics and meter, so it looks like you could have made an improvement in that regard, too (but I don't know the original in order to make the comparison), because it flows so nicely.

  Excellent! Very humorous!

  bebu
• 

  kgfreeperson

  Well, rats, I know people have posted links to kingdom melodies, but I don't know how to use the search function. Can someone supply a link? I know this, hilarious as it is, is even funnier if you know what it is parodying!
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  Nosferatu

  Here's the link to the Kingdom Melodies (there's only 225):

  http://www.terra.es/personal2/online/index2.htm

  I'm guessing it's a parody of "Move Ahead". Here's the original lyrics:

  Song 123

  Move

  Ahead!

  (Hebrews 6:1)

  1. Move ahead, move ahead to maturity!

  It’s the will of our God that we gain ability.

  Try your best to improve in your ministry,

  And then our God your work will bless.

  There is a place in the service for all;

  It is the work Jesus did, you’ll recall.

  Look to God that you thus at no time may fall.

  Keep standing firm for righteousness.

  2. Move ahead, move ahead, boldly witnessing!

  Everlasting good news to all sorts of people bring.

  Joyfully praise Jehovah, our God and King,

  By witnessing from door to door.

  Though wicked foes tend to cause you to fear,

  Do not shrink back, but let ev’ryone hear

  Gladsome news that the Kingdom of God is near.

  Declare the truth yet more and more.

  3. Move ahead, move ahead; always follow through

  And improve in your skills, for there’s so much work to do!

  Let God’s spirit keep on motivating you

  And make you know joy that’s divine.

  Love all the brothers for God’s own name’s sake;

  With them in weekly assemblies partake.

  And assist them good progress each day to make,

  Together letting your lights shine.