I need a little help

Darryl

My story is I've been df'd for about 20 years. A couple years later I started attending church and found it to be a tremendously uplifting experience. From the people to the music, message everything drew me in. However I was still torn because I didn't totally believe the doctrine. I just can't accept the whole Jesus is God thing as well as everybody is going to heaven. As far as heaven goes I truly have no idea who's going, who's not going if everyone is going or if no one is going. I definitely don't believe that only a handful of Jehovah's witnesses are going, I have a spiritual side in me that wants to believe in God and Jesus and the whole thing but it's getting difficult. I see a lot of corrupt leaders in the church as well.

I did at one time feel that the witnesses had the truth but I always knew that I couldn't live up to the demands. It always kind of irked me when the fds thought they knew the exact meaning and prophecy behind every scripture in the bible. If there was a scripture that mentions donkey poop laying on some dirt they can decipher the scripture and tell you who the greater donkey poop and the greater dirt is. And don't even mention the book of Revelation, that whole book was written about Jehovah's Witnesses particularly the fds. Nobody else just them-Babylon the Great of course, nations all that but the good news only pertains to the Jehovah's Witnesses. Do you think when John got the vision Jehovah allowed him to look in on a Watchtower study way off into the future, or maybe a convention drama, watch a 6 year old give a tract presentation at a door? I just don't believe 6 or 7 million people and when you think of it how many of them are on the up and up? There might be some active witnesses reading this sentence right now and if so you are not in the number I just quoted. But let's just say 7 million people just 7 million meet God's approval the other 4 billion, yes 4 billion will be destroyed. Can you imagine? Airplanes falling out of the sky, cars and trucks crashing, can you imagine the fires, air pollution?

Anyway I need help I want to believe in God but quite frankly I don't know what to believe anymore

Iown Mylife

Hi Darryl, great post, i can definitely relate to everything you've said here.

My family and I have been totally out less than five years. I visited some churches but nothing took hold. I don't want to make a commitment to another organized religion.

As far as knowing what to believe, i'm clueless. I have found a comfortable spot now where I just don't worry about any of it. I feel like, what difference does it make what the heck I think about God, Jesus, heaven, what happens when we die? Nothing that I think is going to change any of it!

I'm enjoying the life I have now the best I can, while continuing to peel away the layers of WT mind control programming.

Marina

Greybeard

I hear you Darryl, Totally understand what you are going through. You are trying to make since of everything you have been taught your entire life and it does not add up. I never met Jesus, but I know how the story goes and if he did exist... I would like to think a man like him did exist... if so there is no reason to fear him! There is no need to fear Revelation because Jesus is not a hateful killer like the God of Israel. He said, "Your God is a man slayer and the father of the lie." He abolished their law. In Revelation it says he is coming with a sword in his mouth. That represents WORDS and WORDS kill the EGO. That is all he ever did was kill peoples egos and heal people according to the Bible. Sounds like he practiced Yoga to me or something and they twisted it all. He even forgave those who killed him. He also said when the son of man returns, will he find the faith on Earth? Apparently not, I have looked and I cannot find anything like it in so called Christainity. Jesus was a psychic and practiced magic if you think about it right? Something they made us fear. He preached "You are gods" and said you can't take that out... I went to many churches too, nobody teaches that in Christianity that I know of. Did he find the faith when he came the first time? Nope. All you can do is be good and cause others no harm. Treat people nice. The Apocalypse is nothing to fear if Jesus is the one bring it so hold your head up high and work on getting heathy, maybe take a Yoga class or join a gym. Take care and don't worry, BE HAPPY!!! :)

Darryl

Thanks all actually do go to the gym. What attracts me to the churches is some of them are actually doing good work. The one I attended donated money and food to the local food bank. They looked after the elderly, had a summer enrichment camp for the kids, gave to various charities. I believe when its all said and done the main question is what did you do for other people? Knocking on empty houses for 2 hours every Saturday is not even a productive plan to reach the masses with your message. I mean how many people do your normal witness encounter in a week? If it's anywhere like it was when I was in usually at most you will get in a solid hour of actual door to door work. In that hour you might get 5 or 6 people to answer of those 6 maybe 2 will allow you to get your spiel out. Invariably someone in your group will remember that they have a return visit that they been trying to catch and want to see if they're home even though everyone knows they won't be. But I digress I just feel like making a positive difference in someone's life is better than handing them a tract or watchtower but that's just my opinion.

Greybeard

You got it bro! Food Banks rock! They do help people... JW's destroy lives and families all in the name of God...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HKx0tdlxMfY

LisaRose

If there was a scripture that mentions donkey poop laying on some dirt they can decipher the scripture and tell you who the greater donkey poop and the greater dirt is

LOL, too true. If you could figure that one out, I don't think you need anyone's help figuring the rest out. Just look at the facts and use those same critical thinking skills.

Wayward

I wouldn't worry about Jesus as God the Son vs. Jesus as Son of God or who goes to heaven. Do you believe Jesus is your savior and redeemer? If so, that's what matters. As for going to heaven, we can't ever know that for certain until we die and go there. Or not. As for deciding what to believe, that's for you to choose. You've found a place you seem to be comfortable with. Enjoy it. There's no need to rush.

Heaven

Hey Darryl, many believers have issues with faith, I think largely because what is preached doesn't match reality. In our present day, we know a lot more about our natural world and the Universe than the Bronze and Iron Aged Middle Eastern desert dwellers did. Our knowledge has surpassed any need for superstition. Christianity is just an adaptation and modification of previous belief systems.

Using logic, reason, and critical thinking are key. Wishing something were true doesn't make it so.

Theodicy is a huge issue for many believers. It was for me.

Each of us have been taught someone else's interpretation of the Bible. We've been maneuvered through it, with our various religions cherry picking scriptures to convince us of the validity of their agenda.

Have you researched the history and origins of the Bible? This might help you.

Ask yourself "What is more likely? That the laws of nature are suspended or you have been told something that isn't true."

As for 'belief', I think the fundamentals of love and helping others always works regardless of which deity you identify with (or don't identify with).

hyperpen

Hi Darryl, the great and wonderful thing is you have complete FREEDOM to figure out what you believe, and find YOUR path to God without interference and direction from men! You can even choose NOT to believe in God if you want to. I believe that religion is nothing more than a man-made "to do" manual for a relationship with God. I DO believe in God but I do not believe in Religion. I have gone to church on occasion to receive a message of inspiration (I also occasionally tune in to Joel Osteen on Sunday mornings, even if you're not a religious person his message is usually spot on with regard how we need to look at things to bring happiness and success into our lives). I love the fact that I can go to church IF I WANT TO, without fear that someone will call on me to find out why I've missed a Sunday! I can pray to God in the privacy of my home IF I WANT TO, with no one asking me how many times a week I pray, or ensuring I say a prayer of thanks before EVERY meal, whether I'm out in public or not (I always hated that!). Go to several churches, read many books from people who do and no not believe in God (I recommend Nietzsche), and guess what no one is going to ostracize you because you read a book by an atheist! Life is meant to be lived uncensored; as long as your beliefs don't harm anyone else you're good in my book. Check out my site https://separatedfromtheflock.org where I share my views and stories related to having once been a JW.

FayeDunaway

Darryl I couldn't make peace with the Trinity either, until I dug deep and researched. Then I learned how hard the witnesses worked to make the new world translation all twisted around to support what they wanted to believe. Every single scripture about Jesus' position to the father has been twisted. I still believe the father is given the respect a father deserves. But Jesus is the only begotten son of God. Man begets man, God begets God. The Trinity was meant to reconcile how there can be only one God but Jesus is called God so often in the bible. The Holy Spirit is also a person but more mysterious...I actually do not quite believe he is also God, but there must be a reason a sin against the Holy Spirit is the only unforgivable sin. While not fully believing every aspect of the Trinity, I definitely have made peace with it and believe most of it. Research. Witness deceptions are the reason you can't fully move on, Darryl. As regards heaven, I believe that we do dwell with Jesus when we die, but that eventually the tent of God will be with people, and there will be a new earth. Many Protestant churches teach this as well.

I need a little help

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