The un-written "Grey Book of Un-Official JW Rules"

Rabbit

I was wondering...what un-written rules have y'all come across ? The rules that have gotten you or others in trouble? Including all the "Grey Rules," that are open to interpretation by indubviduals and Committee's.

The serious, the funny and the seriously stupid...!

Come on down...

I have one: Can/should indubviduals start collectively start 'shunning' even if there is no 'Official' action ?

Example: I recently remarried -- to a non-witness, after an unscriptural divorce was forced legally upon me. I was not DF or DA. I was just inactive. So far, I haven't been contacted by any Elders. I have been told I was knowingly doing wrong by re-marrying -- NOT IN THE LORD. This was from my siblings who proceeded to tell all my relatives, the bad evil thing I was planning and was informed they would have nothing to do with my civil wedding. They now have avoided me like the plague for several months since my blissful wedding. Not - one - single - word...!

So, is this a 'written or unwritten' grey rule...?

Anybody know? Tell me some of your weird ones...

Sassy

that should have been a written one...........because there was no scriptural freedom to remarry..........in the lord or not.. Eventually unless the person stays fading... then a df'ing would occur..

if he/she never set foot in a KH again, they might let it go until the day that association began again

Rabbit

Sassy, thanks.

It had been several years since the divorce until my marriage. I did not 'commit' adultry upon marrying like they probably think. But, it was long after the divorce. So-o, how are they justifying their 'jumping ahead' of the Org. ? Shouldn't they "Be waiting on Jehovah's Org. ? This is why I'm thinking -- grey rule.

I am trying to stay under-the-radar, I don't think they will turn me in, even tho' it was very public and I wasn't hiding it. I'm not sure how to approach the subject with them.

'preciate it, Lee

Sassy

I didn't know you were talking about yourself.. sorry for the generic response.

They would say though that it was giving him 'freedom' by your marrying.. if you think about it, if they have two witnesses that see one stay over night with one of the opposite sex, it gives that one freedom.. now there is grey area.. after all.. there is no proof of sex but they allow that as a reason for scriptural freedom when perhaps God saw that nothing of the sort went on behind closed doors..

Rabbit.. good luck on your staying under the radar.. I'm trying to do that same.. although I have a feeling my days are numbered

slenderdog

I'm also a victim of that "grey rule." Maybe victim isn't the right word as I don't really want to speak to anyone from the congregation. My ex committed adultery and left me. After a while I quit attending meetings. One of the elders had me over for dinner with his family (which he did often after my marriage broke down, fair play to him) after I had stopped going to meetings. He suggested a shepherding call, which I refused, saying it wouldn't do much good. He hasn't spoken to me since. I met his wife once in town on a Sunday afternoon. I was having lunch with my daughters at a restaurant and she walked in with her children. She could barely speak to me--out of embarassment, I felt. They actually walked out. Her adult daughter said to me "we're going somewhere else so Mom won't be so embarassed." Poor woman, she had probably been told by her husband not to speak with me, I was as good as DA (read DEAD) to him.

Rabbit

Sassy:

Rabbit.. good luck on your staying under the radar.. I'm trying to do that same.. although I have a feeling my days are numbered

Yeah, I'm just waiting for the other-shoe-to-drop, it IS known, but since I've been inactive so long...maybe the 'powers that be' in my congregation don't care. My Witness relatives told my sister they would continue to 'talk' to me at family gatherings -- unless something else happens. You of course, know what the 'something else' is ? But they have 'jumped the gun' go figure.

Keep your head down, lee

Rabbit

slenderdog:

Poor woman, she had probably been told by her husband not to speak with me, I was as good as DA (read DEAD) to him.

And you were the 'injured party' too. There is an Elder among my relatives and I think they looked for ha, 'guidance' from him on this. So much for family Love, huh ?

I feel like I'm already DA - dead to them, too...

Momofmany

The serious, the funny and the seriously stupid...!

I am going to talk about my brother. He used to do the microphones, his suit started looking worn. We were a large family and there was only money for one suit/dress per child. It wasn't in the budget for a new one, so he lost his privileges. I mean, there were no holes or anything, it just wasn't new looking.

Then same brother married a girl who was not in the "truth." When others from our old cong. see him, they literally turn their back on him. Of course he taps them on the shoulder says hi, and walks away laughing. (wish I had his guts)

My one sister was never baptized, but she married out of the "truth" also. The used to tell my mom, well you have other children.

My son could not do the mikes because he wanted to grow his facial hair, and I let him. He's 14, and we are talking fine blond hair. He wanted it, and I saw no harm in it. There is no scripture why he cannot have his facial hair. This was what started me doing research into teachings. My son is the oldest of 6, and I am a single mom. He feels all grown up, even though we all know he isn't. But he wanted his hair. I wished he never showed it off, Always saying, come look at this, and point out his face covered in fine blond hair. They wouldn't even call on him to comment. argggg, he's just a boy, and I am a bad mom because I did not force it off his face.

edited for spelling

Singing Man

The very gall of the witness's saying you must be married in a kingdom hall or you will not get Gods blessing gives me projectile vomituss.

DIM

Strangely enough, I know several old "friends" who have not gotten married in the Kingdom Hall because they think the insides are ugly (very true)......and its ok now.

in 1999 when i got married, it was "get married in the KH or else"

unwritten rules...hmmmm...well, for the Philadelphia, PA area it was:

no long sideburns

no beards (of course)

no 2 door cars (this was loosening up as I left 2 years ago)

matching pants and suit jacket to do mics (no slacks w/ different colored jacket)

The un-written "Grey Book of Un-Official JW Rules"

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