The rest of your life has officially begun. Enjoy!
...and so the shunning begins
by Phoebe 26 Replies latest jw friends
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zeb
"she surprised me by saying 'but I would have you' "
Phoebe this just how desperate so many are for that 'pat on the back' from the borg. Verily their sense of human spirit is made of Kleenex.
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LisaRose
Some people make better cult members than others, please don't take it personally, it's not a measure of their feelings for you, but of their fear, fear of displeasing God or fear of what others will say, or the elders.
The pain will diminish with time and as you make new friends, and you will make new friends.
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steve2
The pleasant surprise comes later: Once you’re free from JW organization, you realise asnever before that most non-Witnesses never overtly or covertly manipulate friendships with the threat of shunning.
As for those two women you were close to in the organization, they are simply doing what obedient JWs do: shunning you because they know it will please the elders and the local congregation.
You will soon realise you deserve better than this outcome and the pain and hurt will diminish.
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millie210
Such a sad but familiar story Phoebe. I supported my "best friend" (a JW) through an affair and a disfellowshipping, and subsequent reinstatement and now ten years later? I am inactive and she says I make her "uncomfortable".
I understand it I guess, because she has never liked getting to far away from being told what to do whereas I always felt restless and squeezed in to obedient compliance as a JW.
I miss the closeness she and I had. I am sure you too miss the daily communications you had with your friend. I can honestly say there is a difference in missing her and missing "the relationship" and the space it occupied in my day to day life.
Thanks for starting this thread. Reading everyones thoughts has been very heartwarming and encouraging for me too.
Hugs to you Phoebe. xxxooo
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John Free
So sorry phoebe. It’s tough and yes hurtful.
But you have stopped paying in to a bad investment that never has a return. As you start to meet real people, and form unconditional friendships you’ll almost certainly look back relieved that you had the strength to leave this toxic group.
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Old Navy
Quote from Phoebe:
I find it quite upsetting that both of them have turned against me. I wish I had walked away from this awful organization decades go
Reply from LisaRose:
Some people make better cult members than others, please don't take it personally, it's not a measure of their feelings for you, but of their fear, fear of displeasing God or fear of what others will say, or the elders.
Chances are they, in their hearts, are as torn up about this as you are but are prevented from acting lovingly because of their intense fears. They know not what they do. When it was your turn during the prior circumstance you responded lovingly to their distress because you are stronger than they.
Though it is painful, I know that you understand fully and do not hold it against them. In time they may yet see the error of their conditioned reflex and gain the strength you had. I'm sure they haven't forgotten.
Congratulations by the way on your determined efforts to break free! The path to freedom is not an easy one but you'll have help all along the way. Whatever feelings you may have of resentment or anger or disappointment will dissipate as you grow strong in your True Faith. Pity those who are stuck in The Cult and have seemingly lost their minds... Until they awaken they are slaves to the Undue Influence.