How do you view your parents ????? very tough question !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (page 3)

Sassy

Yes I am angry that I misssed out on many things in life because of being raised a witness. I wish I could get some of those things back but of course time does not allow. I am angry however at the WTS for the misleading, not my mother. She in all honestly believed this was the only way to life for her children (still does). It was out of love that she did what she did. I understand that. Hell I tried to raise my children the same way.

Lady Lee

How do you view your parents?

Father

sick, abusive, Psychopath, sexual deviant, who never was a JW

Mother

sick, abusive, neglectful, alcoholic, Narcissistic woman who abandoned her kids. And that was before she became a JW. The JWs just gave her an excuse to continue to be that way

Step-father

sick, abusive, Psychopath, sexual addict, who tried to be a JW but left before he got baptized

Foster mother

older Victorian woman, sexually repressed, abusive (never JW)

Foster father

a really sweet kind man, only positive role model I ever had, He showed me that people can be gentle kind and considerate (never JW)

Grandmother (mother's mother)

nasty woman who hated kids and abandoned her own kids, stood back while her husband abused all her kids (when she had them with her) - became a JW which did nothing to improve her personality and then got my mother involved

except for my step-father there really isn't a lot to say about this bunch of very sick people

Country_Woman

with love and sadness that they both passed away.

shera

My mother has never had anything to do with the witnesses,but I think alot of my mother.She was kind and loving and did what she had to do,to support her two daughters.

My father was an alocholic..(i can never spell that darn word!) I love him,but I still hold some anger towards him,not as much tho,I am moving on,regarding everything he has done to us.He died when I was 14,and I still haven't grieved as much as I should have.I feel he doesn't deserve it.Something elese I have to work on.

I have a step father,who is awsome,a kind,giving man,who deserves alot in return.

cheers to my ma and step pa

shotgun

As mislead....they never had the education or the tools we have now to overturn all of the WT crap.

Can you imagine trying to rummage through all the literature and not using a computer to find what now stand out as obvious contradictions. The WT treadmill made that impossible. Most on the forum are out because of being df'd or reading info on the internet or one of Ray's books.

My father is dead partially thanks to WT doctrine (No-blood so he put off heart surgery for years in fear) and my mother has invested a lifetime in what she still absolutely must continue to believe is the truth, if it's not she has shunned children, lived with an abusive mate and went without many material neccesities for a false god (WTBTS).

She can't even explain what she believes after 40yrs as a dub, but then again I've been cross examined by men who were elders for 50 yrs and got so balled up they ended telling me it didn't matter if what we believe is not the truth it's still a good religion......

After reading (Releasing the Bonds) by Steven Hassan I no longer held her responsible...I just wish she would not be so rigid in her conviction.

bisous

I haven't spoken to my mother in over a year. She chose JWs and an abusive man over the responsibilities she had as a mother. She married into a JW family when I was about 5. She spent the next 12 years with these people (as did I). She knew that I was physically and mentally abused, plus she forced this religion on me because she was in it too. I was also sexually abused, while she claims she didn't know and I have no proof otherwise; the other abuses were more than enough to take a stand.

When I left the JWs in my early 20s, so did she. As I grew older and raised my 2 kids, my respect for her diminished as I realized how weak and selfish she is. About 2 years ago she returned to the witnesses (if I believed in the Bible...the quote a dog returns to its own vomit would definitely apply here).

Our relationship grew more and more tiresome. When I was younger, I did a lot of what I see expressed on this thread....defended her actions. Poor mom, she didn't know, step-dad was mean, it was a cult, she thought it was out of love...blah blah blah blah.

As a parent (single) and one who has been faced with more challenges than my mother and mostly DUE to her .... I now refuse to make excuses for her. She was a thinking adult person with a child. It was her responsibility to make appropriate decisions and put her child before her own selfish needs and wants. She willing and continuously chose not to do so. It wasn't the WT's fault solely.

Thankfully, I left and slowly rebuilt aspects of my life. But I am forever marked and still not whole.

It is a relief mostly to not have to deal with the situation in the last 2 years. As my daughter nears the age of marriage, I'm certain it will all have to be trotted-out again and figured over (mom and grandma at the wedding stuff).

It is one thing if your parents were raised as JWs and inculcated from birth. But I hold them much more accountable if they willingly chose it. She went there in the name of love, (selfish), and put him and WTS over everything else. YUK. Let's not make excuses for these people. They weren't that blind.

THANKS WTS. THANKS MOM.

Mulan

Now, I look back, they lied to me, cheated me, mislead me, did not look out for my best interests

They were lied to also, but they just didn't know it. Telling someone else the lie you believe to be true, is not a lie. I think you should lighten up.

I think there are very few parents who deliberately try to hurt and abandon their children. All of us do the best we know how to do, at the time, and usually we make lots of mistakes. My parents were baptised in 1950 when I was 4 1/2, so I never knew any different until I was a grandmother myself. We raised our children in it too. We loved them with everything we had, inside and out, and would never have wanted them to be JW's, if we didn't absolutely believe it was the truth and the best way to live. (all 4 are ex JW's now, thankfully)

I love my parents. They are very elderly (90 and 91) but I know they love me and my brother and would never have abandoned us, even if the religion told them to. My brother has been df'd since 1977 and my JW mother has said over and over, in the years since then, that they can disfellowship her, but she will never abandon her kids. (my father is not a believer anymore) We take care of both of them now, because their religious beliefs kept them from truly planning for these years they are in now. But I do it because they took care of me when I was a helpless child, so it's my turn now. It just seems fair and the right thing to do.

So, not all JW parents are the same. Just had to say that.

Tinkerbell4125

Ya know, I'm 43 now, raised in the *truth*. I wasted my education believing that Armageddon was coming in 1975. My parents are dead now. I guess I could sit here and place judgement on them, but for me, it seems all I can feel is a longing to see them again. As I get older, I realize all the stupid mistakes I've made and I realize we simple do the best we can in this life. I've learned that people can't give you what they don't have and that you learn to give yourself what you didn't get.

garybuss

Run Don't Walk, When you wrote,

Now, I look back, they lied to me, cheated me, mislead me, did not look out for my best interests, and abadonned me when i needed them the most,

I related so much. Just to let you know you are not alone with all this.

I appreciate all those who have relationships with parents and can condone what their parents have done, but I don't relate to them. I think the traumatic past would fade for me if my parents treated me good now, but they don't, and they are not making any good memories for us to look back on. All that's in their history is neglect, rejection, and abuse, and they're letting that stand. It's hard for me to like or even respect someone when they are yelling and slamming doors at me.

Thanks for the thread, you have inspired some very good posts. GaryB

got my forty homey?

My sentiments are exactly as yours! I was robbed, abadoned, and cheated. However they did give me the physical things I needed to live and they loved me in their own way. I do respect and love my parents but hate the fact that they are so brainwashed in this cult. They are constantly asking me to return and even send me books in the mail which I dont read.

I do hold a grudge at them for not encouraging me to get a better education, maybe I would have had a better job than the lousy one I have now.

How do you view your parents ????? very tough question !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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