Now I am out, some reflections

by menrov 12 Replies latest jw experiences

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  menrov

  Ok, I have been out (officially inactive) for over 5 years now. And from being frustrated during my awakening, to becoming a true bible student by analysing all doctrines and viewpoints, to being really happy to be out and at the same time, have developed a sense of disgust for the WT. My wife is still very much a PIMI. But this situation allows me to observe and I am sure you have the same observations in your lifes. And I have come to some conclusion which I like to share here, hence this new topic.

  1) for most JW's, their social life is of far more importance than the correctness of what they learn or are "motivated" to do. Their view is that is comes with the package. And even if it is not really scriptural in all its aspects, there is nothing wrong to do it. It is good to help people to learn about God, His name etc.
  This means that to them, to those who think like this, it does not make any sense to argue about wrong doctrines or human made rules etc. They feel happy so it is good.

  2) Also, many JW's do have a love or loyalty towards the God they think they know. That means that leaving the organisation they think it is an act of disloyalty towards their God, Therefore, approaching them with examples of wrong doctrines etc, will not motivate them to leave. Their loyalty is stronger.

  3) items 1 and 2 above is also the reason why some (may be many) are more a PIMO than a PIMI though they might not admit it or are aware of that. You can see it by the things in they do not follow the WT like higher education, type of entertainment, children and birthday cakes, worldly friends and activities and other stuff.
  They are relatively happy with their life as they live it because of item 1 and/or 2. Again, very difficult to approach these people to consider leaving the organisation for the reasons we all know.

  4) JW's will mostly leave the organisation because of a personal, nasty or very unpleasant experience. In other words, only the WT can push out their people. At times, we can be lucky to be around to provide the final push or plant the first seed but in my view, the real driver for JWs to leave is the behaviors of the WT (elders, CO's, Bethel people etc). The more personal their bad experience, the more chances they will leave.
  Of course, this is actually not desirable because often they become very angry and feeld deceived etc. It is like a very cold shower for them and it will take time for them to stop the cold shower and step into the warmth of a normal happy life outside the WT.

  Well this is my view. Happy to see others. And by the way, my real name is Michel Vromen.
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  EverApostate

  Congratulations Michel!!! Welcome to the world of freedom, happiness and Open mindedness.
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  jwfacts

  JW's will mostly leave the organisation because of a personal, nasty or very unpleasant experience. In other words, only the WT can push out their people. At times, we can be lucky to be around to provide the final push or plant the first seed but in my view, the real driver for JWs to leave is the behaviors of the WT (elders, CO's, Bethel people etc). The more personal their bad experience, the more chances they will leave.
  

  Important point. Add GB to that now, with Morris giving his offensive, simple-minded talks.

  Every religion has doctrine that can be picked apart, but JWs have the highest turnover because the high control is more likely to create an environment that creates unpleasant experiences.
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  Crazyguy

  Great observations, I too believe it’s mostly social followed by the idea that their special because thier part of God’s true organization. I also believe like you that most that leave do so because they either can’t keep up with the lifestyle or have become victims from The policies.

  The amount of people waking up and leaving because they figured out it wasn’t really what the Bible teaches and were not victims in some way first must be really low.
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  Half banana

  I agree with Crazyguy, well observed Menrov/Michel.

  In the main Jehovah's Witnesses are indeed a social club-- who really cares about doctrines? Doctrines are like an exclusive wallpaper decorating the clubhouse walls. It takes courage to resign from a social club which you know will ostracise you when you leave.

  Human nature dictates you do the things your friends do for the sake of solidarity with them, for some people even if it means defending unreasonable ideas. Friendship and identity are important factors for a stable mind. It just happens that the JW doctrines and culture are not only defective but actually deprive people of their natural right to choose their own satisfying path in life.

  By devoting their time and energy to the cult, JWs remain dependent on it, just like children are to their parents but permanently so-- and they lose out on personal development, ending up poor, disappointed and unfulfilled.

  The promise of paradise looks too good to miss! If only those, when they were contemplating joining the religion, could know how it really ends: it does not end in paradise.
  
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  DesirousOfChange

  W's will mostly leave the organisation because of a personal, nasty or very unpleasant experience.

  Yep, most people begin examining the religion after a personal stab at them or someone close to them (child, spouse, BFF). They realize the "love" is not real.....and if that is missing, then what else might be wrong?

  

  That's how it starts............................
  
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  Simon

  In the main Jehovah's Witnesses are indeed a social club -- who really cares about doctrines?

  I completely agree and this is why they don't have a problem when they change their doctrines - no one is there because they believe or even know much of the detail, they just like the general overall promise: have friends, will never die / be resurrected, will love forever stroking tigers.

  I remember a service-meeting after an assembly where they reviewed the programme. Someone commented on some new light that was a new belief, someone else then said the old and new were back to front, someone else thought it hadn't changed and was something else entirely.

  The point is - no one believes because the beliefs make sense. I bet must exJWs know the beliefs better because we imagine that being able to prove them wrong will somehow help to convince them. But it rarely does even if they remember about it when something does trigger them.

  The triggers are nearly always "something happened that was wrong" and then people start to wake up. Few people study ancient greek writing and re-interpret the bible, finding an error in the WTS translation (even if they may exist).
  
  
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  Vidiot

  menrov - "...only the WT can push out their people..."

  Hell, more often than not, they do our job better than we do.
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  Vidiot

  Simon - "...no one believes because the beliefs make sense..."

  This.

  They aren't in because they believe.

  They believe because they're in.
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  Alive!

  My observation as a convert was that the average witness is ‘in’ because of the things Menrov spoke about.

  One thing that got to me....was our poor witnessing model...using those magazines, pushing articles about stuff, hiding watchtowers about bizarre scriptural interpretations of ‘classes’ of this and that, prophetic dramas involving the WTBTS.

  We hid those ‘crazy’ study articles in the inside covers of bland Awakes, because if we were honest with ourselves, we were embarrassed.

  And....here we were, believing these poor people, our target, the population of mankind were in line for an angry and terrifying annihilation from a wrathful God....unless they accepted our ‘knock’ on their spiritual door.

  Yet, in such apparent urgent times, we distributed too many half truths and full lies.

  And.... did the average JW REALLY behave like a person who was aware that the world of humans was in line for extinction unless the JW ‘message’ was accepted?

  Did we go back to our homes, tearful, sad and in prayerful minds given the monumental nature of our work?

  Nope....after service, we’d lunch, share coffees...and have a good laugh.

  It was NOT the true, undefiled gospel.

  The good news for all mankind, was not good news for all mankind.

  Even if you think it’s all a load of rubbish, the true ‘Good News’ looks very different to the not so ‘Good News’ of the exclusive world of JWs.