The first time you went to bed or had same gender sex with your partner after leaving the JW experience, how did you feel? And what led to this event, could you put it into words?
Sunshine and peace
Celtic
On sex, lesbians and gay's - question
by Celtic 10 Replies latest social relationships
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Prisca
Wouldn't it be better if this thread put under the "Dating, Relationships, Sex" forum?
I'm not being picky, but it's just that this Main forum has more threads than can be read sometimes, so it's better to use the other forums for the subjects they've been put there for.
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BoozeRunner
Prisca,
good point!!Boozy
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Celtic
Please - give a newcomer a chance to find their way around the board at least. Not all computer whizzkids you know.
On reflection this evening I thought that this was not really a fair question to ask of others due to sensitivities from past experiences with elders, for which to those, my apologies.
peace
Celtic
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Prisca
Celtic
Further up, you will see a link called "All Forums". Click on that and you will see a whole list of forum names, one of which is the "Dating" one.
If you're constructing a website, I think you'll be able to handle doing what I just described
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Celtic
It wasn't exactly a dating question though, just shows how people get the wrong end of the widgit once more, I was just asking a sociological question of a group of people within one community which to my imagination and reasoning therefore should and was correctly placed within the 'main' section and certainly not any 'dating' section.
peace
Celtic
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Prisca
sigh....
the forum is called "Dating, Relationships and Sex" - emphasis mine
Celtic, if you don't believe me, just click on this link I have provided.
here: http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/forum/forum.asp?id=38&site=3
P.S. Isn't your question rather personal, one better discussed by private email?
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Celtic
See above my dear
Bottoms up, jolly ho!!
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Preston
Hi Celtic, I think as a newbie on the boards myself there is no need to be chastised simply for where you placed your post. As a self identified queer ex-witness I have been on several dates with people of the same sex since I've left the congregation. It has never bothered my conscience nor should it since gay, lesbian, bisexual, queer, questioning people are as capable of entering sexual and romantic relationships as their heterosexual counterparts. My first "sexual" experience was a moment of love and affection that made me truly feel wonderful about myself. I met an older man in my home state and the first time I went to his house we made intense love in front of a mirror. It was one of the most amazing experiences of my entire life and it does not bother me one bit. C'mon, why should anyone feel the need to be compelled apply the sex laws from a bunch of old guys in Brooklyn. Has anyone seen what some of these guys look like? In fact, one of the reasons why I left the congregation was the fact that I was part of an environment which was not conducive for queer people to be accepting. How much more so for people who want to share sexual feelings with another person. No wonder so many Jehovah's Witnesses are big time homophobes.
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joelbear
Since this never got put on the other forum, I decided to go ahead and answer it here.
My first time, by Joelbear (PG rated)
I realized I was gay when I was about 10. For the next 20 years I fought it almost literally 24 hours a day. Praying, pioneering, studying the Bible,etc. I dated sisters from the time I was 18 til I was 30. All of these sisters were beautiful kind wonderful people. I loved them but couldn't fall "in love" with them because there was zero physical attraction.
In April 1988 when I was 29, things came to a head pressurewise in my life. My two best friends were getting married, I had met a gay man at college who I had been talking with and the mental torture from my family regarding getting married (they were in just total denial) became too much for me to handle.
One night after a book study I went over to my friends house to look at some of their wedding plans. I got very depressed went to a liquor store and bought a bottle of vodka. I went home and gulped it down, trying to make the pain go away once and for all. I passed out in my bathroom on the floor.
Two weeks later I took off work and drove to Key West from Jacksonville. I had heard there were gays there (like there weren't any in Jacksonville, ha ha). I had no idea where to find them. Finally, after 3 days there, I found out Key West had gay hotels. I drove around and around and around one of them for about 1 1/2 hours trying to get the courage to go in. Finally I did.
I went down to the pool and met this beautiful man named Bill. Girls, let me tell you, he was perfection. Tanned blonde, steel grey eyes. We went out to dinner and when we came home he took me in his arms and gave me my first kiss. I was shaking all over uncontrollably. We lay down on a lounge chair there under the Florida sky and just held each other and talked until I stopped shaking. Thats all I did for my first sexual experience. But I knew from that first kiss on that there was no going back.
I went to bed (by myself) that night and literally felt years and years of weight drop off of me. I thought about my friends and family and wondered what my life would be like without them. I thought about how I would tell the elders in my congregation about what had happened. I didn't feel condemned by God for what had happened. I didn't feel guilt. I felt free. But it was a bittersweet freedom, since I knew my life was changed forever and that I would have to face that.
hugs
Joel