Hi - What a surprise - you are on JWD too! Heather has been trying to get me to join for ages and I have kept putting it off as I am on a couple of other groups. I am glad I finally did it. So you have spoken to Darron and he wasnt receptive. What a disappointment - I wish he was more openminded. He told me that some years ago he had a "crisis of conscience" about the whole "God" thing and wondered if he actually believed any of it. Unfortunately he didnt pursue it and fell back into old habits - tookthe easy way out. Of course I miss my family (as useless as they are) - they are all I have. Now I have nothing left in life to really call my own and I am extremely depressed. It is a challenge to get on with life and make the best of it. Each day is a new opportunity to make a new life. Their shunning of me will never make me crawl back in a million years. I have decided once and for all that I dont want anything to do with that sick lot - I have found out too much. A few years ago, in a fit of depression over a bad relationship, I decided to look into re-joining the jws. I was told I had to "prove" my humility by going to the meetings first and sitting at the back - they wouldnt even conduct a study with me. Well they can all get F*%#*. I am glad that didnt work out - that was before I joined ex-jw groups and found out the REAL TRUTH - thank God I did it in time! It is hard for me to understand how you could stay in the jws when you obviously have some serious issues with them. You said it was because you could get to the others more easily. You must have a strong constitution, thats all i can say. I am quite a reactive person and cant hold my tongue for long. I hope you can explain more of your story and how it is that you do what you do. It certainly would be good to meet up some time if you would like. There is no reason for you NOT to trust me. I am not a backstabbing or bitchy sort of person - instead rather naive I think. Looking forward to hearing from you again, and take care of yourself. Ps I dont recognise your photo, you look like that lady from ER!