I need to find out his address. I think I will talk to our former Legal Guardians and get it. I only hope he would read it.
Dear Jason,
You need to understand something very important about me, and I hope that you realize what it is that I am saying. I have no intention of ever setting foot in a Kingdom Hall of Jehovah?s Witnesses again. I will not practice the religion that I was raised in any longer. Now, to fully understand this, I think I need to explain a few things.
First of all, the reason for my departure from the organization was because of adultery. Fornication, whatever you want to call it. April and I had separated and I slept with another woman during that time. I was brought before the committee, and Bro. Eaton asked me about 3 or 4 times after all was said and done ?Aaron, what do you want to do?? To which I could only answer at the time in all honesty ?I don?t know.? If you don?t believe me, I?m sure that there are records regarding the meeting that you can verify.
Anyway, that was why I got disfellowshipped. But that is not why I am not returning to organization. I know your view of disfellowshipped people, Jason. I am assuming it hasn?t changed in 6 or 7 years, or since the time that we grew up. I know your view on it, because I used to share that view. That a person who is disfellowshipped, if they don?t immediately repent and try to get reinstated, then chances are they are submitting themselves to a life of immorality. Which is, apparently, what they wanted to do in the first place.
Let me make something clear, Jason. I am not turning my back on God. I have not turned my back on him. I just have a better understanding of him. One that I have gained through careful consideration of the things I was taught growing up and the things I have since learned. I say ?learned? even though that is a pretty arrogant term. I mean, things that I have accepted. Things that I have reasoned out. Philosophies, if that?s what you want to call it.
I know that trying to have a relationship with you, without being one of Jehovah?s Witnesses is probably impossible. I feel that of the 3 of my siblings, you would be the hardest one to convince that shunning me is just morally wrong. It is a hypocritical practice that flies in the face of the very essence of what Jesus taught, which is tolerance. It doesn?t even make sense. If what you are attempting to accomplish ,by following the Society?s order to shun me, is make me realize the error of my way, you needn?t bother. I fully realize the error of my past actions. If, by shunning me, you feel that I will ?see the light? and rejoin the ?fold?, then you are mistaken again. I do not see how violating one of the basic of all relationships, brother to brother, over a religious difference is supposed to make me feel beholden to that religion and want to be a part of it.
And aside from that, if I were to come back, it would strictly be so that I may have a relationship with my family again. Now, which do you think is worse, Jason? Staying a ?worldly? person, or worshipping God under false pretenses? I would have to say the latter would be grosser sin.
I would like to think that enough time has passed now, that you would see by my actions, that I am not out to change your mind. I am not out to break your faith. If you have a faith and you are strong in it, then there is nothing that I can say or do that will change that, anyway. Since that is the case, then I have to ask you this:
To Jehovah?s Witnesses, the practice of disfellowshipping is a loving act of discipline, which serves a two-fold purpose: to keep the congregation clean and free of any ?leavening? agent, and to shock the disfellowshipped one into realizing the severity of his wrongdoing. When I was disfellowshipped, it took me a long time to realize something, but I finally did. I realized, ?Hey, I can?t talk to the brothers or my family, and yet, if I want to be reinstated, I have to go to every meeting I can for at least 6 months. Why is that?? And it dawned on me that it was so a person could concentrate on what was being taught without the influence of his associations in the congregation to distract him. It was a time for the right-hearted one to focus on his relationship with God. Which, believe it or not, is what I did. I read. Most of what I read was the book of Ecclesiastes. I?ve become quite fond of that book and I feel that is probably one of the biggest sources of true wisdom in the entire Bible.
And what is the book of Ecclesiastes? It?s a book of a man?s philosophy on life. Solomon, who had everything, and realized it was all vanity and he instructs that there is nothing better for a man to eat, and indeed drink and to ?do good in his life. It is the gift of God.? I like that philosophy. And it?s when Solomon talks about ?how does the wise one die? Along with the stupid.? that I realized another very clear truth. None of us is any better than anyone else. I know you feel that I am inferior. Even more so than a regular ?worldly person.? But ask yourself, is that why you don?t want to associate with me? Don?t tell me that the Society says this, the Society says that. Is the Society training a bunch of robots? Are you not capable of making a decision with your conscience? Do you really feel that I am a threat to your faith? That associating with me would negatively effect your morality? That I will try to preach against your religion and make you want to leave it? Do you really feel that me wanting to have a relationship with you again has ANYTHING to do with religion AT ALL? I talk to Nancy and Larry. I do not discuss matters of faith with them.
I would not discuss matters of faith with you, Jason, unless that is what you wished to discuss. I am not out to make you think differently, there is nothing that I would stand to gain from doing that. Now, since I have made it clear to you, that I do not intend to corrupt your thinking or infect your mind, what is it that prevents you from contacting me? From wanting to have a relationship with me? You ask Nancy how I am doing, why not ask me yourself? Would it kill you? I don?t think it would. I say, that if you feel that there is anything that I could say or do that would shake your faith or that even being in my presence would pose a threat to that faith, then you have to ask yourself exactly how strong your faith is.
I leave it up to you, Jason. I am only sending this letter because it seems to me that it has been too long since you and I have acted like brothers and I suppose it?s as much my fault as it is anyone?s. I should have been trying to call you every single day trying to reestablish the lines of communication. Instead, I just sort of gave up. I figured you would never want to have anything to do with me if I wasn?t one of Jehovah?s Witnesses. But, I want to think differently. I?ve been reading Star Trek lately, if you must know what finally got me here to this computer to write. I?ve read three in a row : Vendetta, Reunion, and (my favorite) Rock and a Hard Place. Remember Quentin Stone? How cool we thought he was? I remember having a ton of those books lying around, and some of them I never read. I read so much now, I wish I had those books lying around, now. I?d read them all.
What do you say, you give me a call sometime, and we just talk Star Trek? I?ve got a bit of a Nit Picker thing, but I?m not sure if they ever pointed it out in that book. Remember in ?All Good Things?? when the future Enterprise under Admiral Riker has just saved Picard and the crew of the Pasteur? He says to someone ?Get us out of here, Warp 13.? I was like, warp 13???? I thought warp 10 was infinite speed? Or at least that?s what Peter David says in ?Vendetta.? Anyway, let?s do that. I will leave my phone number in here along with my address. Regular and email. Write to me, or call. I don?t care which. And we will discuss things of a mundane nature that have nothing to do with our beliefs. Would you be willing to do that? I hope so.
Your Brother,
Aaron