What must we do to be saved? (page 3)

All you have to do is perform the Daily Soul Cleansing Ritual for three minutes each morning BEFORE 12:00 Noon. The ritual is quite simple, but clearly very meaningful when taken into context with the rest of the universe. Simply rub your stomach while patting the top of your head. If you don't see the significants and beauty of the Daily Soul Cleansing Ritual, then you are likely not being totally honest with yourself or have some secret sin. Maybe you are afraid to just let go and believe.

You can also further guarantee eternal bill in paradise after you die by donating to me, the Great Proctor, a 10% tithing (based on your gross income, not your net).

NOTE: If you miss the 12:00 Noon deadline for your Daily Soul Cleansing Ritual, you may wish to double your tithing for the month to help guarantee that you are properly cleansed.

Also, if you are injured or unconscious and unable to perform the Daily Soul Cleansing Ritual yourself, you may designate someone else to do it for you. If you are not able to make this arrangement, then you may not make it to paradise. To help with this problem, I am willing to have a volunteer perform the ritual on you for a small fee of $200 per day. What a wonderful blessing!

Phantom Stranger

Is that Doctor Procter?

It's good to see that, even after some leave the WTS, they never lose that ability to inflict bible quotes on others.

Love_Truth

Ya talkin ta me??

INFLICT is a rather mis-applied term as regards Scriptures, don't you think?

You choose to ignore them at your own risk.

logansrun

You choose to ignore them at your own risk.

Elsewhere

That's right... for all you know *I* am the only true religion. Are you really willing to risk that?

If you choose no religion then you are guaranteed to go to hell. My religion is very simple and only costs 10%. A BARGAN compared to other religions! Clear evidence that I am the true religion. What other religion can offer you that kind of proof?

Phantom Stranger

Well, at least those last few posts were scripture-free. Anything I ignore, I so do at my own risk... but thanks for the heads up.

So you don't like Pat Robertson?

JamesThomas

Assuming there is a God, and that he is a "God of love" I believe you don't have to do anything to be saved. Just by virtue of being his creation we are saved. As an all-loving father, it wouldn't make sense to condem any part of his creation for the way He made them. I believe that when we die, all is forgiven and we are "clean" before Him. No caring parent could stand to hear the cries of eternal suffering coming from the supposed place called "Hell". I think we are saved by compassion, wether we "accepted" Christ or not; his message was that of salvation, not destruction.

Faust, what you said was a beautiful expression of un-conditional (divine) love. What ever religion you are, if any, you are closer to Christ than most Christians I know. j

Elsewhere

Pat Robertson is clearly a puppet of satan. You can tell by the funny look in his eyes.

Phantom Stranger

After the "900-foot Jesus" sighting, I think Pat Robertson may have been buying Oxycontin from Rush Limbaugh.

What must we do to be saved?

Share this