TELL US YOUR LACK OF LOVE STORIES FOR THE LURKERS.

by shamus 22 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  Bonnie_Clyde

  Get this one - in the 1960's there was a dear elderly sister in a nursing home. I remember going to visit her and during our conversation she mentioned going to heaven. Since she was only baptized a three or four years earlier, I felt she couldn't be of the anointed so I mentioned this to our congregation servant (earlier name for presiding overseer). A few weeks later I heard her name read from the platform that she had been disfellowshipped. In those days, I never questioned anything, but recently the name came up when speaking with an elder. He told me that she had to be disfellowshipped because she preferred the King James Bible over the New World Translation. So much for our telling people that we use all translations.

  What haunts me is whether my telling the elder about this sister mentioning a heavenly hope could have prompted some sort of investigation.
• 

  dustyb

  ok, i tried posting this before, but my computer messed up, so lets try it all over again. a lot of this stuff reflects my g/f's life, but also mine too.

  My girlfriends mom goes around and calls my precious, a slut, whore, a mistake, not worthy of God's Kingdom, loser, bum, tells her that she will constantly be unsuccessful in life, makes bad decisions, is a bad influence, is a bad person (keep in mind this is her blood mother....). Her step father goes around trying to pick a fight w/ her 15 year old brother who is bipolar. both mother and step-father are JW's. Mommy always goes around and talks behind everyone's back, then puts a different face on when she is speaking directly to them, 2 face i like to call her. her mom also tells her brother he is a mistake...pretty much her mother and step-father emotionally abuses them hardcore.

  Elders at the congregations: in my city there are 2 main congregations, and out of the 2 congregations, i think there is 1 elder at each place that actually cares about people and their emotions to an extent, as long as he doesn't break WT rules (maybe bend a little bit). the rest of them are cowards and throw around their weight. they rule with an iron fist and think they are the Shizniat! one elder has 2 kids, and both of them have been sheltered and have had NO outside contact really (besides me) with the outside world. they've been home schooled and everything, and when they are finally released out into "the wild" i think that they won't know what happened. they've relied on mommy and daddy for so long (oldest is like 17), that they won't know whats going to happen in the future. they think they won't live to be adults (how so very wrong they are).

  Congregations in general: At my congregation there is 1 guy who married an elders daughter, so he feels that he must make huge impressions and such, and his brother married some other witness girl, so he thinks he has to follow his brothers image. they are sincere, but i feel that they like that because they think they HAVE to present an image towards the organization. their lives are dedicated to the image of the organization and not to God if you believe in him/it, whatever. the rest of the congregation that has known me since i was a little kid talks to me and tells me that its good to see me (in general) which is cool to me, because they're old ladies that have always thought i was a gentleman ever since i was a little tyke. but the rest of the congregation that either doesn't know me or dones't like me doens't bother telling me hi or shaking my hand. same way at my g/f's kingdom hall.

  g/f's family is worried about one thing, her getting disfellowshipped. they kinda care how her mom treats her at home, but it doesn't matter as long as she doesn't get disfellowshipped. so here is a beautiful, smart girl getting abused emotionally by her mother and step-father and the majority of her family and congregation, and all her other family can say is "don't get yourself disfellowshipped". what a crock of total and utter shit. do they care about her....yes as long as she doesn't get disfellowshipped.

  friends: my g/f's friend calls her the other day after i get done talking to her. I was talking to my g/f's friend, asking her if she wants to go to a concert with us at the end of feburary. i was going to pay for everything because thats what i do. so she said she'll think about it, it sounds great, blah blah blah. meanwhile, she calls up my g/f's mom, tells her that i bought me and my g/f tickets for the concert, THEN talks to my g/f and tells her that she's bad association, and if she wants to talk again she has to get rid of me.....blackmail

  All in all, every religion has the right to exercise what they feel is right, but when they start getting into personal affairs and interfering with natural family love and bondship (if bondship is a word), then they have crossed the line. any religion that tries to control family and friends and loved ones from talkign to each other, its not worth the hassle. if this is what paradise is going to be like, i'd rather be dead...
• 

  talesin

  {{{{{{gmfh?}}}}}}

  I understand your bitterness. Happy you survived.

  tal
• 

  Love_Truth

  First, a little about my childhood- The details of my life are quite inconsequential...My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low-grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a 15 year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink, he would make outrageous claims, like he invented the question mark. Sometimes, he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy - the sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical: summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring, we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent, I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds. Pretty standard, really.

  Now, seriously, It would be easier to list the "Love Stories", so here goes; here's the COMPLETE list:
• 

  HadEnuf

  When I became very ill with depression and other "ailments" and was missing meetings and field service, the elder's decided to take a little survey as to "if I was really sick" or just faking it to get out of my spiritual (slavery) obligations. So they proceeded to interview various people in our congregation as to whether they had seen me out in public. Some reported, yes, they had seen me out driving my (old) Suburban. (Don't worry...we got rid of it to get a less gas guzzling car.) Well...I had my ups and downs and on good days I had to get groceries, run errands, etc. I never, EVER, had any offers from those in the congregation to help me with any chores...including watching two younger children. They even went to my mother-in-law's home, who lives next door to us, to ask her if she saw me coming and going from our home. And this was an 80+ year old woman!

  Oh I could go on and on and on and on...but it was this sort of thing that woke me up and told me that this definately was not the kind of love that Christ taught us to have for each other. If you have time to burn you can go to my Topic on "Coming Out" and read my story for yourself. Then you can ask YOURSELF...is this the kind of organization that God and Christ would approve of? I think not. Cathy L.
• 

  simplesally

  Love truth, did you know that when you were frozen your Frau bore you a son?
• 

  Special K

  Thanks for asking ones to post how they have been hurt..

  Mine runs deep..too deep to tell. It would pull me backwards, and I don't think it would be a good place to go right now.. Kind of like a vortex back there when I was d'fd..

  I have worked through those couple of years but the scars are still here and sometimes a bit raw.

  Hugs to all who can share their stories of lack of J.W. love..I'm sure there are many.

  ((((Hugs)

  sincerely

  Special K
• 

  bebu

  Purple:

  In the end I looked at that elder and said well actually there is something I can do and I just walked out and never came back.

  Thank God, you truly won your life back with that small statement! They relied on your being weak-willed and compliant; instead, you overcame. Thanks for sharing that moment of real power.

  Love Truth,

  Loved it.

  bebu
• 

  Hapgood

  My family had I guess you could call it a string of back luck. First my hubby lost his job, he couldn't find another on and didn't have any marketable skills. He went back to school to learn a new trade (this was in the 80's and was frowned upon back then). So I went to work full time to make ends meet (again this was frowned upon). It was hard at the time my daughter was only three years old. I had a terrible time making meetings and going out in service. I worked long hours and worked about an hour from home. As a result of my weak performance, we all were pretty much shunned. It hurt, we were going through a rough time and basically shunned.

  Then my Dad came down with cancer and eventually died. Then I became sick, had to have major surgery. My Mom had heart trouble, had to have major surgery. As a result of all this I had a hard time keeping up with my "spiritual obligations" (basically I was of no use to them). I was marked as spiritually weak and basically ignored. I felt like crap!

  But what finally did it for me was when my daughter began having trouble and she decided that she didn't want to go to the meetings anymore, not one of those lovely Elders asked about her or even tried to help her. It was like she never existed, she was brought up in that congregation, so it's not like they didn't know who she was. That hurt me more than any of the treatment that I received.

  Hapgood
• 

  jgnat

  When my honey confessed to his study leader that he was dating a "worldly" woman, he was given the "unevenly yoked" scriptures. He told them he knew that marrying me could result in his death, but he was willing to face that consequence, he would leave everything in Jehovah's hands. They responded, "How do you know Jehovah will hear your prayers?"

  That cost my man a few nights' sleep.

  When he married me anyways, his study leader was very upset. He told my honey that he was betrayed. When my honey confronted him on it, he said, "No, you did not betray me, you betrayed Jehovah." This is after the elders told me that they do not tell people what to do, they simply direct people to what the bible says.

  A few more night's sleep lost.

  Recently, this study leader called my man on the carpet for joking around with one of the elderly sisters. (There are many elderly widows in this hall. As his own mother is elderly and far away, my honey chats up these surrogate mothers. They are very tolerant of him, pinching his cheeks and telling him to be a good husband.) She had complimented on how thoroughly he had cleaned the hall, and asked if he would come over and do her apartment, next He replied, "Only if you marry me." Mr-No-Chip-On-My-Shoulder-Not-Me, told my honey his behavior was not appropriate for a married man. "You have responsibilities now!" "Do you see the elders talking to the women this way?"

  I would say not. That is one lonely bunch of women.

  More lost sleep.