Do discussion boards have any healing effect?

by gumby 44 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  orangefatcat

  I certainly believe that the board does help in regards to a healing process. At the same time it also believe that a good Therapist is an excellent way of getting in touch with our feelings about having been a JW who has been brainwashed since an early age or any age for that matter. I feel no shame in admitting that I went into therapy and it was the best thing I ever did. I still see the therapist every three months just to shoot the breeze and see how I am handling my life now. He is an excellent doctor. I think that is the key, You need a good therapist, not just anyone. Shop around, you'll find what you need. Being negative about life is so counter productive. And the Organization is quite adapt at making people feel they need to be browbeating themselves constantly about things they do or don;t do with their lives. For example .. Being you never get out in the service as much as you should they are there to bounce all over you and if you miss meetings they are at your door prying into your life, or if you don't pioneer its like you have to confess a reason why you can justify not being a pioneer. It is endless. They do nothing but make people feel bad about themselves, Oh you don't do as much as you should so you start feeling sick or have headaches or stomach ulcers. Getting older before your eyes. It like how priest hit themselves constantly for having impure thought.s We need to heal, and survive. They might as well use a beating rod on you. It is ridiculous. Like an example is my own mom, she says she can't do things like she use to but if she doesn't do them she will die at armeggadon but it is okay now because she is killing herself trying to do what the Org. wants. Even if it means her own health and well being. She is constantly saying I never do enough...

  Yes we need to get help and push on with out the suppression of the Organization.

  I think at the very beginning when I started posting I mentioned that this board has helped me inmy healing process. Having been a J W for 38 yrs I can tell you that I had alot to off my mind as it were and everyone , well except for two persons were very helpful and kind in listening to me. Off the top of my head was Joy2bfree was a great help as was Grace (mouthy).

  Yes I definately suggest that their is no harm in trying to find peace and solice in ones life through boards. Mostly this board. I have visited other ones, however this is my all time favourite place to be. I am healed now, so I still love to come here and help others through any ordeals they may be having to content with. I know that each day when I come in here, I laugh I cry, I jump for joy, and i weep and I am so grateful to have so many fantastic friends.

  Yes what would we do if we didn't have Mini.....

  The very best to all who are working at healing themselves....and remember this that procrastination is the thief of time. So the sooner you seek help the faster the recovery...

  Love as always,

  Orangefatcat.
  
  
  
• 

  Strawberryfieldsforever

  I have found much healing here. I don't feel so alone now that I see so many who share my same feelings. I can't talk about these things with just anyone. I come from a small town and don't trust anyone to talk about my intimate thoughts of being an exjw. I can express myself here. Sure sometime or another we could use some therapy, but thats up to us. This board is a launching pad into our new life. We need a little boost and some kind words. Whats wrong with that? I just read a post by Dazedandconfused and I got very upset. Why do we have to read things like that. I didn't come here to hear that maybe the JW's were right??? It makes me sick......I left all that and I don't find any healing reading posts like that. I still don't know what happened with that post, but I really wish people would not say things like that.......
• 

  Valis

  Strawberry...don't let it bother you too much. Chin up an all that! BTW you have a PM..

  Sincerely,

  District Overbeer
• 

  Tiamat

  Personaly i feel that DB's are an invaluable tool in helping yourself to find solutions to problems, and, or, making a decision to change something in your life. Not all people, myself included, are comfortable with seeing counsellors or therapists. I did some bereavement counselling for a few familys, but at the end of the day, all people need is time, differing information and opinions from a variety of sources, and anyone can make up their own minds, or come to terms with loss, or change something about themselves or their lives.

  Familys seem to be separating more and more these days, and i feel that it's the loss of these pools of information and opinions that are the cause of a lot of peoples problems.

  So i say hoorah for the internet and discussion boards. For if there are gaps in our families, they more than fill the need!

  With love, Mike

  Peaceful coexistence in

  Darkness and Light
• 

  iiz2cool

  As to whether someone needs professional help when leaving the watchtower, I think it depends on the person. I think discussion boards can be a big help to X-JW's, especially ones who are newly out. They've helped me a lot. But I think they can also hinder recovery if a person does not make an effort to develop relationships and interests in the "real" world.

  Walter
• 

  Valis

  But I think they can also hinder recovery if a person does not make an effort to develop relationships and interests in the "real" world.

  and there's another sticky wicket Walter...suddenly being nice to all those dead people isn't always easy. Fortunately for me I had a job where social interaction was very important...I was a doorman and then bellman then bell capt...so even while still in the borg for that brief time I was learning how to interact with adults in a "worldly" fashion. I wished it were that way for more of our friends..*LOL*

  Sincerely,

  District Overbeer
• 

  iiz2cool

  suddenly being nice to all those dead people isn't always easy.

  Tell me about it! The last few years I was a JW I practically wanted to kill everyone who crossed my path. I got over most of my anger within a few months of leaving. My doc even told me I could stop using my blood pressure meds, as I didn't need them any more.

  Walter
• 

  bebu

  Healing is just one purpose for a discussion board; there are other purposes as well. ...Generally, I think boards have a great potential for healing and good community experiences.

  But there can be times when healing is hindered as well. Support is usually considered a good thing, but sometimes support-dependency becomes a new "demon" of sorts. And if one is venting continually--and support keeps him/her venting--then bitterness becomes the final result instead of healing.

  Healing is a process, with many stages. Discussion boards work best for healing if we always keep healing as one of the eventual goals. Not to short-cut the process, but not to stay cemented at any particular stage before the end arrives. Not to be satisfied with giving up.

  I think the best thing about any good relationship/community is that whenever one reaches out to help another person, one's own personal healing is enhanced. But once anyone is stuck on his/her self alone, everything begins to stagnate. It is nice to receive support, but it is a mark of growth to give it--in good ways.

  bebu
• 

  cyber-sista

  YES and thank you to all! I had been inactive for about a year and hurting really bad. Even though I use to the internet a lot I never went to any sites that were not JW approved thinking I would find foaming at the mouth evangelical apostates out there. I was so relieved when I finally had the nerve to look around and see if there happened to be any out there that felt like I did. I needed validation and I got it all from you all and your experiences. Now I know my thinking was not totally off and that I was not the horrible wicked person that I was lead to believe I was. It has helped me greatly to know that others felt the same and went through much of the same garbage that I did. Reading others suggestions helped me too. Others told about their experiences of what they had been through and the mistakes they made when leaving--I have contemplated their examples and used many of their suggestions and have faired better than I would've on my own. THANK YOU!
• 

  Sentinel

  I can only attest to my own experience. I felt so isolated and alone in my dilema--having separated myself from the borg many years prior, but unable to find any real peace and contentment from the lagging emotional baggage that still remained. Mind you, I had been to a very good counselor several years back, and he made some good suggestions, but I just seemed to be "blocked". I couldn't drive by a KH without shuddering deep inside. I couldn't bare to see them on the street, or have them knocking at my door...and I had to deal with the shunning from my dear mother.

  While I was working out these issues all on my own, I finally purchased my own home computer. One of the very first "searches" I did, was in regard to JW"s. I came across the JWD here, back in mid '02. I couldn't believe that such a place existed. It was almost as if it was there just for me. I could read, and join and post my own most innermost thoughts and concerns. I could express what was in my heart, and get it up and out. This worked as a way to finally help me to purge the remaining tenticles of guilt and fear that were always back there in my mind, suppressed so that I could live somewhat normally, but not totally gone. I had finally found a group of people that had the same experiences as me. I no longer felt alone. The assemilation was very deep for me; therefore, dis-assemilation was just as tenacious; so I was also working on my spirituallity "without religion" at the same time.

  There has been significant healing for me, as I feel this site was just what I needed. I don't need it nearly as much now, but I see it as an aid to encourage others by posting, and this makes me feel good inside. To be able to show love and compassion to others who are suffering through what I did for so long is a remarkable blessing.

  /<