Really don't feel like a JW anymore

by snare&racket 16 Replies latest jw friends

  • snare&racket
    snare&racket

    It has been a good 8 years away from my area, a good 10 years + since I was regularly at meetings. A good 12 years since I was hesitantly active.

    It is a slow process but it does happen. I now feel no connection to the belief system beyond memories. 

    Due to my job I occasionally interact with JW's , perhaps once a month. I never mention that I once printed the magazines they hold with them. 

    It feels good, I feel normal. 

    Part of me didn't want to mention this because of the time involved, yes it has taken >10 years BUT it is possible to untangle the JW nonsense indoctrinated from childhood on.

    For many years, it felt like I would always have deep resentment, a constant anguish and anger inside for stolen years (25) a stolen youth, all the lies, all the deceit etc etc. 


    Now I am just greatful to have got out and away...... I do not miss a thing and despite this being a shock to me, to say..... I also no longer miss anyone.

    i don't miss the armageddon hunger.

    i don't miss the ignorance.

    i don't miss the internal policing,

    i don't miss the constant judging.

    i don't miss the constant self denial.

    i don't miss the though control.

    i don't mis the competitiveness.

    i don't miss the materialism.

    i don't miss the endemic alcoholism.

    i don't miss the casual domestic violence,

    i don't miss the coveting for mass genocide in exchange  of a cabin built on someone else's land, surrounded by pandas.


    All of the above does not make a good human being. the longer I am away from such people, when I do meet up with them now, I realise how they are NOT good members of society. They are not healthy families. It is not a peaceful, pleasant religion at all.

    A financial institution, ran like a Orwellian slave camp, in the guise of a religion..... What's to miss?


    snare x


  • KateWild
    KateWild

    Hi nice to see you again Snare. It's so nice to hear happy stories. You have taken positive steps with your life and feel the benefits. Sadly though I don't think it's that easy. I wouldn't say that I miss anything about WT or individual JWs, but leaving when your divorced, df'd and 41, is hard. Rebuilding a new life has all sorts of challenges.

    Giving up my career to pioneer was the biggest regret I have. It has been hard to rebuild from there. I am happy for you Snare. Well done.

    Kate xx

  • DJS
    DJS

    Snare,

    Great seeing you again. Damn well spoken. My feelings and thoughts eggs-actly. I used the anger I had at the Dark Lords, my family for raising me around this cult - and finally myself for not waking up sooner - as rocket fuel to go back to school and live life to the full. The only time I looked back for 2 decades was to make slight adjustments in my rear view mirror. Like you have done. Rock on my friend. Rock on.



  • sparrowdown
    sparrowdown
    Thanks so much snare for taking the time to look back and remind us that it is indeed worthwhile to keep pushing forward. There is light at the end of this ex-jw tunnel. You are living proof of that. 
  • flipper
    flipper
    SNARE- Very good thread. I totally agree with what you stated there. My feelings completely after being out  over 11 years myself. In fact I feel the WT Society and Jehovah's Witness organization looks crazier and weirder the longer we are away from it. Once we got away from the " indoctrination " meetings without that mental crap being spoon fed into our heads- life really begins again. We start to breathe and our minds open up to new adventures in life. It's a REAL blessing to be away from the JW cult indeed
  • DesirousOfChange
    DesirousOfChange

    Hey there, Snare!

    Good to hear from you!  Enjoyed hearing your story along the way.  Happy for you that you escaped as early in life as you did.

    Good luck,

    Doc

  • happy@last
    happy@last

    Great thread, shows you can become a normal human post JW.

  • freemindfade
    freemindfade
    Well said, it helps a lot of us to read the similar relief experienced getting out of the mentally destructive group. When my wife tells me "what other loving peaceful religions..." I have to bite my tongue. Because you don't know that it is none of those things until your mind is freed from its control. Then your realize it has a very very destructive side.
  • nancy drew
    nancy drew

    We left in 2010 and it feels like alot of other ideas i used to have that I've changed my mind about. Since i wasn't raised with it the experience has now become like an episode on my life of possible answers. i've made my share of mistakes and held wrong ideas and now moved on.  It's maybe easier w/o baggage like JW family, children and childhood history.

    It's great to feel the mental freedom

  • Twitch
    Twitch

    Yes, it is a good feeling to lose the connections to that world. 

    Sometimes when I'm down, I remind myself of the battles fought and won for my freedom of expression and thought; things that should not be taken for granted. 

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