What Is The Most Ridiculous Thing You Have Heard From A Witness?

by minimus 133 Replies latest jw friends

  • Gorbatchov
    Gorbatchov

    A CO at the circuit assembly: “don’t complain. If you are a cleaner now because you went pioneering and brother x has a house and a new car. It was your decision to pioneer”.

    it blow my head off to hear such a cold saying.

    G’s lovely JW mother “we can always trust the brothers”.

    G’s good JW father: “If you quit, don’t write a letter of DA. They will hang you”.

    Elder: “does your garden behind your new house have a separate exit? You will need it during Armageddon”.

    Elder during elder meeting: “some one here must made a serious sin. I feel the holy ghost is not present”.

    Elder during servant meeting: “brothers tell us your opinion about the elders performance. Let your hart spreak, it will have no consequentions”. I was sitting next to him and asked “why are you making detailed notitions including names?”

    G.

  • smiddy3
    smiddy3

    Elder during elder meeting: “some one here must made a serious sin. I feel the holy ghost is not present”.

    I can relate to that one Gorby one Elder in particular was always on about that when he didn`t think the congregation was being more productive in Bible study`s and return visits

  • ScenicViewer
    ScenicViewer

    "Even the very worst Jehovah's Witness is better than the very best worldly person."

    I've heard this a few times. One of them was from the platform at a meeting.

  • Phoebe
    Phoebe

    Pale and Searril

    the books they couldn’t burn because the demons prevented it? I was told the exact same story!

    I was also told my brother was studying with a spiritualist and they tried to burn books in the back garden and they wouldn’t burn.

  • SummerAngel
    SummerAngel

    The stuff that wouldn't burn story was circulating in SE UK too when I was a kid. There was another one about a girl who was strangled by her nightie due to demons.

    We can scarevthe s***t out of our kids with this nonsense but can't let them play with fairies, unicorns or read Barry Trotter , absolutely ridiculous.

  • Diogenesister
    Diogenesister

    "Indian religion is so demonic they can astral project themselves into your home and attack you".

    Spoken by sister who was giving a bible study to an Indian girl ( as in Hindu Indian). Imagine how the poor kid must have felt about her countrymen from then on in.

  • Diogenesister
    Diogenesister
    We can scarevthe s***t out of our kids with this nonsense but can't let them play with fairies, unicorns or read Barry Trotter , absolutely ridiculous.

    LoLSummer Angel you've been auto-corrected! Barry Trotter does have quite a ring to it- is that a cross between "Only Fools and Horses" and a wizard kid?!

    Most JW kids spend their childhood in a state of permanent anxiety, my fear of " things that go bump in the night" went right into adulthood because of it!

  • Whynot
    Whynot

    My mother has said ridiculous things like if you go to high school you will get DF and if you go to college you will get DF and never come back. My favorite, if you get a job you will become a drunk, drug addict and fornicator. My parents forced me to drop out of school. When I was old enough I got a job against their will. They really just wanted me to live with them and regular pioneer. I did become a regular pioneer but I wasn't allowed to work or go to college. It was horrible! I was so happy to get out of there. They still try to control me but I keep my distance.

  • gone for good
    gone for good

    ¨Best Life Ever¨ when meant as a reference to life in a high control cult.

  • Searril
    Searril

    This thread is very therapeutic. Cathartic also.

    With the way these things can stick with you into adulthood it's good to see others were fed the exact same BS and can understand.

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