To be more in line with your thread Elsewhere: When I was disfellowshipped it was because I could no longer pray to Jehovah. I became aware of this for the first time in a meeting with elders where I was to pray out loud for all of us to hear. As I bowed my head to pray my world turned upside down and the shit hit the fan. It seems my heart would no longer allow me to indulge in the concept of god I was raised with for a moment longer. After several meeting with the elders and no change, I was disfellowshipped. My mind was still a Jehovah's Witness, but my heart silently revolted. All that was clear was I unquestionably knew I would rather die than continue following the deity Jehovah.......and I thought I would die for turning against the only god I knew. Sometimes we realize that there is a fate worse than death, and that is bastardizing our own heart, for to live against our heart is not life. For years after I hated god (my idea of god) as I had never hated before. I was torn and confused with a mind full of Witness programming and a heart the innately knew better. It was as you said, more traumatic for me to lose my god than lose my family. I considered myself an atheist through most of those years but really I was a god-hater. Through time I learned to rely on my heart. It brought me books to read that my mind wouldn't touch. I may have abandoned god, but the hunger for Truth had not abandoned me. It's there in all of us. Truth, I mean. What we seek, is what we truly are. j
Sometimes I feel lucky that I'm an atheist
by Elsewhere 19 Replies latest jw friends
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Atilla
Today, at school I overheard two people praying and discussing Bible text. I wasn't surprised but it did serve as a reminder to me that so many people still base their ideals and hopes on religion. If this is what you need to make it through life, I guess it's fine but to me it's a weak viewpoint to take. I classify myself somewhere between an atheist and an agnostic and I rely on myself and my friends for help. I don't pretend that some magical force is going to save me or give me some divine inspiration. If God does exist and I get in trouble for not belonging to a religious group or for not going to church, then fine, I will tell him to kiss off anyways. That's not the kind of God I would want to serve anyways. Plus, just doing your own thing saves a lot of time and money. I say just be nice to yourself and your fellow man and woman, and no one can fault you for that. Follow yourself and not what someone else thinks is the best way to serve God or yourself.
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LittleToe
SuperJW:
LOL
I know you are on a wind up, but I'll answer anywayI became "anointed".
I think it's a great idea to increase growth - it'll give the rank n file something to "reach out" for. -
LittleToe
You need to get back to your car group - you're starting to lose impetus
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Elsewhere
lmao! Oh the beauty of subtly!
I'm going to go park my car in the garage now.
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LittleToe
Oh, for the sake of all that's holy, don't tell me SuperJW's been deleted?
WTF for? It was a funny parody!!! -
Carmel
I was agnostic for nearly two decades after leaving the borg. Couldn't buy into blind belief or blind disbelief. Some called it straddling the fence, but then one has to satisfy their own selves as to the level of proof or disproof. Contrary to most, my secular education in physical and biological sciences led me back to belief in an intelligence behind the ordered universe. But that is a far cry from the god that is described in the Bible or Koran. Personally, I think the inspired texts of all the world's religions have a theme of the existence of a "creator" evem Buddhism and that the moral teachings of each of them conjoin to form credible evidence that He works through us, whatever the "He" is!
carmel
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seattleniceguy
Hello Elsewhere,
When I was a Witness, I used to identify strongly with agnostics I met at work and in field service. I told friends on many occasions that I had a strong agnostic streak, and if I didn't know "the Truth" that I would probably be agnostic myself. When my world came crashing down around me and I started taking an unbiased look at things, asking what I really thought, I found that my real beliefs came easily. I found that I had known what I really believed under the surface for quite some time.
So, to answer your question, the loss of faith in God was not devastating to me. If anything, it was almost a relief. The devastation was wrought by losing my family and friends, realizing I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life, and not knowing how to live in the real world. But the God part - nah, it was cool.
SNG
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Huxley
A month ago it snowed like crazy! Snow sticking around is pretty rare here, so a friend of mine called up, and told me about the sled he had finished.
His sled was made from a huge painting with plastic sheeting stapled to the underside. He bent the front up to slide properly, and used an old necktie as a rope for hanging on.
We gathered a few more friends and hiked up to the local snow-covered inactive volcano.
Once we arrived there were dogs, kids, and half the town having a great time sliding down the snowy hill.
Some kids tore down a huge billboard advertising jeans, and were sledding down the hill on it, four at a time.
I didn't find "God" that day, but somewhere in the mix of friends, snow, laughing kids, homemade sleds, and barking dogs, I experienced something I would call, spiritual.
Huxley
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seattleniceguy
JamesThomas: I always enjoy reading your posts. I feel like there is much wisdom in them.
MegaDude said:
Atheism strikes me as a type of faith....There isn't enough evidence in my opinion to form a concrete opinion against a creator.
My thoughts exactly. I can't call myself an atheist because I don't think there is enough evidence to make the claim that there is no creator. It would be like categorically denying the existence of extraterrestrial life, anywhere, in any form. How can a person possibly make such a sweeping claim? It is similar with the problem of God. I feel like it would be the height of absurdity for tiny me to claim that there is no god, even though I feel strongly that there is a complete lack of convincing evidence that one does exist.
JWs think that agnosticism is the "easy way out." I don't agree at all. I think it is the way that admits the limits to our knowledge, while remaining open to all possibilities.
SNG