I was thinking about the "glorious" past of my association with the witnesses..... and I started thinking. Were there ever things that really really bothered you that they were doing, and it made you stop and think about what you were really getting involved in? Mine would be at an assembly. I remember a talk given about outlandish clothing, and beauty being "like a ring in the snout of a pig" or whatever that scripture quote was... and I remember looking around me and noticing all the younger sisters , like myself, who were wearing skimpy dresses, spaghetti straps, etc.... I was thinking "Has the assembly turned into a fashion show and mating call?".... I noticed these same girls were taking notes, and yet it seemed to fall on deaf ears...... There seemed to be cliques everywhere, it was as if I were at school and all these people were flirting, barely dressed, etc..... That was something that always bothered me, and made me snap into reality, and I realized that these people really were not as "different" as they claim to be. Any thoughts on this?
Things that really bothered you.....
by bakedmonkeepie 15 Replies latest jw friends
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Love_Truth
What you are referring to is part of the larger problem the JW "organization" has with "outward appearences" rather than the "person of the heart". Yes, the "Society" gives lip service on occasion to inward qualities, but the truth is that it is the outward qualities, especially "works" that will get you percieved as "spritually strong".
Consider:
- Make sure you get your minimum 10 hours, and "pioneer" if you can (or have a good excuse why not)
- It's best to be wealthy, and generous (showily so). (Big house, nice new cars, wear high-end suits. clothing, jewelry, flash that cash).
- Keep fit, and "well groomed".
- If you're a "brother", make sure you grab a title ASAP (Ministerial Servant, Elder, etc)
- Only associate closely with those of your "status".
- Have the confidentiality abilities of a sieve.
- Make sure you don't get caught doing wrong, emphasis on don't get caught.
-Make most of the meetings (or have a good excuse why not. Depression, Problems at work, and Illness are great excuses).
- Bonus: Be from a large family that has many Elders and Ministerial Servants; this greatly reduces the need for "discipline" if caught engaging in "wrongdoing".
Now, if you've done the above, you will easily have the edge overanyone who is:
- Genuinely kind and considerate, to ALL, regardless of "status".
- Lives within modest means
- does not gossip
- Dresses "modestly"
- Shows true love, compassion, and empathy.
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itsallgoodnow
I have to say I agree with Love Truth, in that what bothers me is the constant attention on things that can be measured. Love for God is measured by time in FS and attendance at the KH, along with all the other things mentioned by Love Truth. There's no importance on the kind of attitude a person has, and it seems everyone is chasing after power and influence. There's lots of politics and a double standard sometimes for certain people. The hateful attitude toward anyone not fitting in and toward the world in general is a big turn off, too. And they are so proud that they are so well informed, when in reality their information is filtered and slanted.
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dustyb
agree w/ the above. the love of god is measured upon how much you can do for them and not the community. what really chaps me is they go around, bitchign and complaining, OHHH THIS WORLD IS SO WICKED, and OHHH THIS STUPID WORLD AND SYSTEM OF THINGS IS SO BAD. what do they do about it? JACK SHIT. they'll sit there and bitch and complain, but they will not go out into their own communities and donate their time to help make this world a better place until their "new system" comes. thats what's really bullshit. they bitch and complain, yet they won't do anything about it. its not like they don't have money and its not like they don't have time, so gimme a different excuse.
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Huxley
The degree of control in the JW religion is so intense. You don't see it as clearly until you are out, I can't believe the crap I put up with..yeesh!
Huxley
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czarofmischief
What I couldn't stand was the hypocrisy in my own mind. I mean, we (the brothers) would look down on any girl that wore skimpy clothing - but then secretly I would lust after them, fantasize about them when I got back to the hotel room, hope to run into a bikini clad sister in the swimming pool, daydream about having them up to the room... mmm... FLESH...
Now I'm enjoying the fleshy pink views, and not being hypocritical at ALL!
CZAR
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got my forty homey?
What really bothered me was how a group of security guards, golf course maintainers, newstands operators, and porters would be in charge of a congregation and a 100 peoples lives.
It never made sense to me.
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cyber-sista
Lots of little things and lots of big things, so to narrow it down and since you suggested it I will comment on the clothing thing. When I first came into the JW thing I didn't have a lot of money and couldn't afford many clothes and I wore the same 3 outfits from the second hand store for about a long time--it was rather humbling to say the least. Many of the sisters in the congregation where I attended dressed up pretty fancy and wore lots of makeup (some sold Avon cosmetics). This was difficult for me because that wasn't my style and it seemed like the ones who were the fine examples in the congregation were all made up and tottering around on their high heels They had red lips and fancy fingernails and one JW woman wore a full length fur coat to the meeting. One day out in service it was really cold and I was all bundled up with wool skirt, boots, heavy coat, scarf and hat. We were taking turns going door to door and one sister in the car group seemed real hesitant to go with me. She was wearing a business suit with high heels and lots of makeup. When we were walking up to the door she looked me up and down disapprovingly and said "you want to work by yourself?" She was obviously making a cruel comment about my apperance. I don't think I looked that bad--just dressed for the weather. Anyway, the whole thing about the "secret person of the heart" was a bit of a story. Not all, but many JWs were very concerned about playing dress-up. Being counciled for dress and grooming from the platform was rather humiliating too when you think about it ...AAAHHH what a horrible invasion of personal space it all was...
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wednesday
the JC meetings. and excuse to verbally abuse and listen to sexual things and ask private questions. And i can't believe , when i look back that we all groveled like a dog for a bone. We cried and beged to be allowed to stay in Jehovah's clean org. The emotional abuse is just beyond words.
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Octavia
Oh come now...don't you know that's why all those elder's wives looked like they belonged in the swimsuit edition of sports illustrated on Saturday afternoons at the river? It was to keep your brothers' poor little deprived minds full of fantasy material as they were droning on from the platform the next morning in their deliver of the public ad dress.