My sister is DF'd

by Badger 18 Replies latest jw experiences

• 

  Badger

  OK...My sis is a few years younger than me...she was a loyal JW and even took to counseling me for things like watching movies.

  Then, she began to snap. After her child was born, she saw that her husband was really, really abusive (He stopped being physical a long time ago, but he wasn't any nicer...he even forbade her from seeing our worldly mom.) and had enough and kicked him out.

  The elders called her out, wanting to know why she had separated. She said she wasn't happy.

  This is the EXACT SAME reason that my ex used....In hindsight, my ex was right, but the point is the elders then left her alone and did not interfere. Now, they haul my sis into the back and grill her.

  She said she wasn't happy and hadn't been for years. The elders' reponse was stunning even to me:

  "No where in the bible does it say you're supposed to be happy with your marriage. It usually takes several years of hard times before you adjust."

  She refused to go back and filed. The DF'd her for it.

  I found this out from mom last night. I know my father and stepmom(both still in devoutly) know, but when they called me Saturday (see letter to dad thread) there was no mention of it.

  Now her ex to be is breaking into her house and ripping her off. I'm getting ready to go Grand Theft Auto on my ex-in-laws.
• 

  Love_Truth

  Familiar story- It depends on who you are, not what "wrongdoing" was commited.
• 

  mouthy

  I was told when my husband was beating me. That I had to stay after all "our brothers & sisters " who were in prisons for being Jehovahs Witnesses couldnt leave.... So I really MUST stay!!!!! I did !!!! Oh well its water under the bridge now. He died - I only get beat up verbally now by the JWs that see me...... Wicked apostate that I am....!!! They told people I was such a wonderful JW - I said "I havent changed"---They responded to people who repeated what I said " THATs the trouble she should have !!!!
• 

  LoverOfTruth

  Love_Truth is correct.

  Most of us believed you were only disfellowshipped for serious wrongdoing; Was I shocked when I learned why most people were disfellowshipped. Many of these "So-Called" Apostates are very caring, loving and Sensitive people. They snap when they can't take the abuse any longer...They question the motives and/or teaching of the WTBS. In order for them not to get the other robots thinking, they kick them out and shun them.

  Let you sister know we really care about her. She is very precious.
• 

  czarofmischief

  Beating your woman is not cool. Frankly, if anyone beats my sister, especially if he's trying to stalk or harass her, he's going to disappear. But that's what psychotic older brothers are for, eh?

  She was right to leave, and she is right to walk her own path. Tell her to be strong.

  CZAR
• 

  Badger

  bttt: I wanted to highlight the BS the elder told her.
• 

  seedy3

  Hmmm......... This I know is not unusual, but just getting a divorce or seperating is not suppose to be a DF'ing offence. I had filed for Divorce from my JW wife, but they didn't try to haul me in until I got remarried, which then constituted adultry in their eyes. She should be able to appeal it if she wanted to. I'm sure her problem is she maybe didn't fit into the clicks of the congregation and they wanted to teach her to be a good little Dub.

  Seedy
• 

  shotgun

  I agree with seedy3

  I thought they could only df for adultery...etc
• 

  Sassy

  oh my.. it does seem to me that there is some of the story missing.. they would have to have some disfellowshippable offense committed by her... just divorcing is not enough..

  is she dating anyone? so they would assume adultry?
• 

  Love_Truth

  OK- I left something out.

  IF the other mate wants to get re-married, or IF the one to be DFd has spoken out about the JWS, (or some other terrible offense, lol), then they will definitely either DF, or failing that, they will DA her. Period. That's the way it works.