If you are single and have married friends, . . .

by compound complex 26 Replies latest jw friends

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  Xanthippe

  All of my friends are divorced. A couple of my friends have been married twice. I think they are still looking for the love of their life. I suppose I was lucky that I had a happy marriage, although I have to say marriage is hard work even when you are well suited.

  Most of my work colleagues are married but I can't tell if they are happy, they seem to complain about their partners much of the time. Life and marriage aren't perfect are they? Is my loneliness heightened when I see couples? I don't think so, marriage is not easy and I don't particularly envy them.

  Personally I just want to keep making more friends, more people to share my real feelings with.  That could be because I adored my late husband so I have already met and later lost the love of my life. We always crave that which we have not already experienced don't we?
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  campaign of hate

  A good 90% of my married JW friends, i would say, look unhappy. A lot got married young, and seem to moan about not getting "any action", or that the wife is being a bitch.....A lot recommend not getting married. An alarming number argue in public as well.

  When i see what they share, i'm pretty happy being single and independent. 

  I have a few married non JW friends, most look happy. I'm guessing it's because if they weren't happy they would split up? Or maybe because they both have good careers..Go Figure.

  The non JW married life seems a bit more My Thing.

  I think that you are in the best situation if your in a good, happy state, and you decide to get married.

  Do i get lonely? Yes, sometimes desperately lonely. But, it doesn't mean i'm sad. I'm quite a happy guy. The two, in my mind, do not go hand in hand. Loneliness doesn't = Sad. That is a Hollywood invention.

  I've already made up my mind not to marry a JW girl, doesn't matter how nice they are. That's inviting WAY too much drama into my life knowing what i know about "the truth". I'll marry once i'm "out". And if i don't, well, it's better to have a life time of loneliness, than a lifetime of unhappiness, sadness & frustration.

  How do i cope with any loneliness now? I like to have a few hobby's, and having a long term plan/goal on the back burner really helps.

  Just my thoughts.

  
  
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  wannaexit

  I believe we should cultivate happiness in whatever state we find ourselves.
  
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  Garrett

  Personally, I'm happy as is Mainly because being single is my choice. I've had the opportunity to have a relationship, but currently at this time in my life, I need to stay single and focus on myself. So, being around married couples doesn't really bother me. I don't really feel lonely :P

  
  
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  compound complex

  Thank you, my friends, for answering my questions, often in detail! I don't feel so alone now.

  Loneliness doesn't necessarily mean sadness. Singleness can be a choice. Married couples often are miserable . . .

  Love,

  CC
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  Hortensia

  I'm alone, but not lonely very much. I enjoy my own company most of the time, and have lots of projects, do a lot of things with the groups in the apartment complex where I live.

  Would I like to be married? No way. Never want to do that again. I'd like a companion if I could find a compatible one, but that isn't likely. I'm not worried about it. I'm mostly a happy person, I have friends and stuff to do. If I hang out with married couples too much, I feel very much like an outsider. However, most of the people who live in these apartments are single, and they are all seniors like me.
  
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  Ucantnome

  I have lived for a while on my own in an otherwise empty house where I only had access to a couple of the rooms. It was also rather cold you could see you breath in the air although the heating was on. It was also in a rural location with no phone and very dark outside at night. I felt somewhat lonely.

  There's a picture that was in a children's book that made me feel really sad when I was preschool I can still see it in my mind. It gave a great sense of loneliness and how I wouldn't want to end up like that. 

  
  
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  Ucantnome

  maybe my fear of living alone has played a big part in staying married
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  zed revisited

  My happily married friends are what gives me hope for the future.

  zed
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  Heaven

  I'd rather be single than in an abusive relationship. Been there done that.
  

  But I would like to find someone who is not abusive... so far, no luck.