How do you know when you?ve put the Watchtower behind you?

Steve Lowry

It takes time (usually several years for most folks), to attain a certain level of inner peace about leaving the Watchtower Society and all its psychological baggage. It?s a process we all go/grow through and just because you haven?t attained the perfect balance yet doesn?t preclude you from enjoying the success that you have attained, so far. Anyway here are a few I thought of myself. I?m sure that given other people?s experiences they could think of a few.

You?re no longer threatened or intimidated by words like, apostate or Armageddon.

You?ve found the balance between hating the Watchtower Society and loving the JW.

You have no guilt on any level about having left the Watchtower organization.

You have no fear on any level about having left the Watchtower organization.

You come to understand that the Watchtower Society would be the last organization on this green earth that God would choose to represent Himself. So there?s no need to worry.

You?ve come to peace within yourself concerning those family member?s who have decided to disassociate themselves from you, albeit mother or father or sister or brother. That?s their choice and life goes on without them.

If you (or someone you?re responsible for) need(s) a blood transfusion, you don?t have any nagging Watchtower ?pop-ups? in your mind from the ?old days?. You make your decision rationally and on the facts concerning your particular situation.

When you drive by a Kingdom Hall, you feel pity and/or a righteous indignation.

You come to understand that you have the right to be angry about your experience(s) as JW (and your subsequent exodus), and are not threaten by it. Righteous anger dose not necessarily equate to unresolved anger. There?s a difference.

You can enjoy the things of life (celebrating Holidays, patriotism, etc.) without even thinking about your JW upbringing.

You realize, that in your lifetime, if you?re able to stop just one person from becoming a JW that you?ve done a good deed and you?ve helped your fellow man.

Steve

desib77

I look forward to being at that point someday. :)

Desi

Nosferatu

How do you know when you’ve put the Watchtower behind you?

When you see it being flushed down the toilet with a big smear of sh*t on it, and your butt feels like you've just wiped with sandpaper.

In all seriousness, I think it's when you have no more thoughts of "what if they're right?" as well as not trying to hide things when you run into a JW you know in public.

Puternut

It has been likened to spiritual rape. You may never be able to put it behind you. The things is, will you move on in life? It's a scar that stays with you. But you need to know that you have learned from this experience. And so, you are now careful as to wether you will join an other faith, or remain as you are. People who are physically raped, can move on in life, though the scar from that experience will stay in their minds. If you decide to let these things bother you for the rest of your lives, you are in essence letting them still have control over you. This all takes time to sort through. And it is painful, but in time these scars WILL heal. You can be strong and have a full life without the WT.

Puternut

Sirona

Although I think I've done most of those things, I still think that I'll never be the same after the experience of it. That can be a force for good though. Like when I was having surgery for cancer, it was awful, but now its a real force for good in my life - I always remember how lucky I am to be here and how I should live life to the full.

My partner says that when he thinks of the JWs he just thinks of how great it is to be "out" and how we should live our lives and never let an organisation (of men) tell us what to do.

Maybe being a JW and getting out has given us a really unique perspective that you don't find in people that often, and it may even move us to be more accepting of people around us (because we were always so bigoted as JWs...) here's hoping....

Sirona

willyloman

Dr. Phil, the TV shrink, always says the expression, "Time heals all wounds" is false. Time doesn't heal anything; it's what you do with the time that helps heal you.

I think you put the WT behind you on a daily basis by: making new friends, getting involved in charitable or community projects, opening your mind to exploring other theological and philosophical ideas, and doing a lot of reading. Leaving JW's is a form of recovery. Alcoholics who stop drinking still have a lot of baggage to carry around; they get better when they get help dealing with these issues. Former JW's have left a religious environment which has many of the same characteristics as addiction, and often need similar a similar recovery program.

My advice: Embrace the change, open up your heart and mind to all sorts of new possibilities now that the world is your oyster, not your enemy. And don't be afraid to seek professional help.

Doubtfully Yours

Believe you all me, I so look forward to putting it behind me once and for all.

For right now, though, in order to keep a speaking relationship with my parents and husband, I must stay and pretend.

It's an awful place to be; like in between worlds! Not one thing, nor another.

DY

little witch

Let us never forget where we came from. Or we are going to repeat out past.

The horrors of the tower I have survived, recognize, rejected, and moved past.

I did not choose all that abuse to happen to me, and I refuse to ignore it, and pretend it didnt happen.

It is simply smaller in my mind, and of way less importance. I feel that if it passes completly, that I am giving a nod to the tower.

I am simply not willing to do that. I feel the same way about other power stealing grub-worms.

I want to keep it "in their face" thus, I still use the name I was labeled with. "Little Witch".

I can pretend it didn't happen (that would make some real happy). But I won't. By empowering myself, accepting, and moving on, I feel I am helping others and helping myself.

I don't feel like a labeled child anymore. I retrieved what was mine (ammunition) and fire it straight back at the would be attackers.

I hope my comments make sense, it's just where the thought took me I guess.

I guess what I mean to say is, that I do not feel my being an ex dub, or posting here means that I am stuck in a rut. I feel that I am making progress and making something good out of a bad situation.

Thats how I know I am free.

blondie

Memory of abuse will always be part of your life though it gets fainter and fainter and eventually is stored on the back porch rather than in the living room.

Blondie

little witch

Exactly Blondie!

In perspective, it is small but remains.

It never will go away our experiences, but it becomes background noise.

The importance fades over time as a sort of jumping off spot.

It is scary and memorable, sort of like the first time I jumped off the high dive-board at the swimming pool.

It wasnt life altering, but I will always remember all those emotions. Fear, anxiety, cowardice, bravery, and finally letting go!!!!

Then the repurcution of being underwater with my own heartbeat, self survival, and guiding myself up to the surface.

After, the feeling of accomplishment and release. And wanting to share that awesomeness with friends, and encouraging others to experience it.

Gosh, this is "deep" LOLOLOL

How do you know when you?ve put the Watchtower behind you?

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