There are I have learn't several cycles you go through on your way through any recovery program, including the often hellish experiences you've been through as JW's, especially so I think, for those that like me were brought up in the organisation, perhaps more so, than those who came in and left again in their adult years.
For some, hopefully you will one day come to a major realisation about it all and you WILL experience a major breakthrough. You will feel vastly relieved when this happens.
In life, through our experiences, our minds take in many forms of different kinds of signals, call it mind food if you will, it all in one way or another, often so subtle, we don't really realise at the time what it is, why it is we are going through these emotional feelings, but it's all ok. There is light at the end of the tunnel. Often we go through pain first before things get better, and better they ruddy do get too.
Beware though, that you are not to blame yourselves, when, you go through feelings of relapsing into JW depression or heightened anxiety, even after you think you've got over it all. This is quite natural. Accept it and fight on, if you need assistance, you know you've always got many who will show empathy, practical help and perhaps most importantly, a listening ear.
We went through something quite different to many individuals experiences, but its not that unique. All around the world, people go through hell because of one thing or another, whether that be extreme poverty or starvation or whatever, based on the environment within which they live. Many people don't have computers or indeed the internet, to communicate with others, their feelings. Count yourself as blessed in this regard.
Life is full of cycles, some sad and painful, others joyous and rewarding, one day, the sum of all these parts you might just realise, has given you a wonderful gift, that of empathy with others going through shite in one way or another. Who said life was supposed to be easy? Life may not be right now, but be prepared for changes constantly. This way, you stand to be better prepared when the shit really hits the fan.
Remember, either side of life is this humongous nothingness, your time here, alive, is only but blink of eye, take advantage of it, love life, love yourselves, forgive yourselves and always do your best not to harm others whilst enjoying yourself to the utmost. This is your God given right. What's the second fruitage of the spirit anyway, but Joy?
Can I harumph now?
Celtic
Edited to correct grammatical and spelling errors
