Since leaving how have you changed?

by Joysome 53 Replies latest jw experiences

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  Insomniac

  This seems to be a common theme tonight, but I, too, have become less judgemental. It's not happened overnight, and it's the result of much conscious effort on my part, but it feels so good. I'm feeling more a part of humanity, not separate and better than them all. David Reed (a former elder, current super-apostate) talked about this change of attitude in his book Blood on the Altar, and it really struck a chord with me.

  Also, the first time I dropped money in the Salvation Army pot at Christmastime, a little boy who was there with his mother wished me a merry Christmas. Looking him in the eye and saying "Merry Christmas to you, too!" was such a huge step for me. It made my heart flutter, but it felt so good to return the blessing.
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  trumangirl

  Deep down, tho being brought up in truth, i've always been a feminist, non-judgmental, non-black-and-white, a bit risque on the joke side. But then there was the JW side ... A colleague once said I was an enigma. Now there's no JW side, I'm just ME, what a relief!

  And I now say "I believe.." not "We believe..".

  Trumangirl
• 

  Evesapple

  It's like stepping out of the box, life seems so much clearer, and when I look back the real truth becomes more evident and sometimes makes me sick. I wish my family could see what I see, but they are too close to it to really get the whole picture.

  I find myself less judgemental of people. Holidays came gradual, I fel like a sinner in the beginning. Singing happy birthday sometimes still feels odd. My views on abortion and a womans right to choose has changed. Also, I don't look at the world so negatively anymore. Yeah there is a lot of crap in the world but there is a whole lot of good too, that's not something JW's focus on at all. If doctors find a cure for something they'll find something negative to say about....mother Theresa is feeding the poor and self-sacrificing, 'yeah but she shouldn't be exploiting it in the media'.....I see the world trying to change itself. I have found friends that are true, and I don't have to judge them upon what they believe, I can listen and appreciate their point of view.

  I have the most wonderful in-laws in the world, that only have love in their heart....and no one is going to convince me that they will die at Armageddon because they don't believe.

  I drive past a Kingdom Hall and sigh, and think....I'm so happy not to be having to go there anymore.
• 

  Elsewhere

  I'm less Judgmental, more confident and more assertive. I don't let people tell me what to do without first considering whether I *want* to do it... if not... they can go screw themselves.
• 

  BluesBrother

  More of the same coming up.

  It is great , learning not to judge others by the standards set by the Gov. Body in Brooklyn. It is great to wake up Saturday morning and not feel obliged to go out in field service . It is great to spend evenings talking with real people on the net, people with opinions who can agree to differ .

  It is great, isnt it , when you find yourself doing these little things like returning Christmas greetings, sending some cards discreetly and being Free to think what you want

  Looking back I could be a jerk when it came to matters of morality and religion, nobody elses view counted - such is the training of a lifetime in the borg

  I like to think I am better now, although my lifestyle has not changed much
• 

  staceman

  This is the first time I have responded on this site. And I am so excited.

  I have changed so much over the years. I was dfd when I was 17 due to rebellion. Rebellion against abusive parents that played the game so well. My mom was drunk more than she was straight and my dad, the elder, broke my cheekbone at the dinner table for looking at him wrong. I have always loved my rebellion against what isnt right. So that hasnt changed.

  I spent years out of the truth completely alone. I always thought that I was too 'bad' to associate with the good brothers and sisters. I strived to be reinstated and was. I was a struggling single parent that went to the brothers for help financially once and they said that they dont do that. I was literally homeless and lived in my car for a while. Fortunately I met some 'christian' people that helped me get some food to eat and a roof over my head. And in time I got back on my feet but I never forgot how I was turned away from the 'brothers'. I stayed away from the troof but I always wanted back in to get close to the family I was deprived of for 30 years. Ironically I got a wild hair and decided to move half way across the country to Denver. Would you believe my baby sister moved here 2 months before I did. We didnt know each other since we were children. I was careful to not step on any toes and kept up my guard. She was a pioneer for years..but was on her way out of the troof herself. To make a long story short we celebrated xmas for the first time in our lives last year and I am in my 40's and she is in her 30's. We even got xmas presents from my brother the x-elder now dfd. And my mom sent gifts she too was dfd years ago. It was the most incredible xmas ever. My sister and I have become very close but we are very angry at what the troof stole from us. My dad and baby sister are still entrenched...sadly. But maybe someday I will have all my siblings back into my life.
• 

  mouthy

  Boy Staceman I enjoyed reading your post. Yes we lost a lot of time with the BORG.... But I know you will use your freedom to aid others who are caught in any net.

  I believe that is why we were there> We truly went through heart break, & in your life you will meet others you can identify with& be a blessing. Thanks for sharing(((HUG))
• 

  Panda

  I think that we are all freed from the expectation of judgement, and little by little we are free of making judgements.
• 

  ColdRedRain

  I became gothic.
• 

  MorpheuzX

  Well I've earned a couple college degrees -- working on a few more Ph.D. I've become a published author, both non-fiction, fiction and poetry.

  Since leaving I've also become sexual activity: fun, fun. Could have scored today with this this totally cute spanish princess, but I'm still not over my ex.

  I've also developed quite an unhealthy drinking and pill popping habit.

  Anyway at the moment there's a two-word phrase that fits me prefectly. The first word is four letters long and starts with an F and the last word is up.