Young People Ask: What is the age of maturity?

Nosferatu

In the book "Your Youth: Getting The Best Out Of It", It suggests that people not date until they reach maturity, which is usually in a person's early twenties. Was this enforced at your Kingdom Hall, or were there JWs openly dating younger than 20 (not in secret)?

FlyingHighNow

It seemed to me that when the brother was into his twenties pretty good and the sister was at least 18 dating was allowed. If the brother and sister were both younger than 20 a Kingdom Hall wedding was banned. I know of two couples this happened to, under 20 and toldnot to date and that they couldn't have a KH wedding.

But it was hypocrisy really when you consider that not much later, a 38 year old brother was allowed to date an 18 year old sister and marry her at the KH. He was a MS. This was a sweet, but not particularly bright sister. One who was sort of dowdy and plain. She had to raise step children who were 4, 8 and 13. The older two didn't see her as mother figure at all. They resented her being so close to their ages. She even homeschooled them because the brother wanted her to. I knew her from the time she was a young girl and really feel like she was being taken advantage of.

If you ask me, they should have left the young couples alone and counseled this dirty old man MS who obviously wanted someone to raise his kids for him while he climbed the ladder to elderdom. In deed he did get appointed elder in the year after the marriage.

Heather

PS Edit: Forgot to mention she was the daughter of a former elder that we were good friends with.

Elsewhere

In the south were I grew up it was not uncommon for coupls to marry as early as 16. Any sister that made it to 25 without getting married was considered an undesirable old maid.

Dawn

Any sister that made it to 25 without getting married was considered an undesirable old maid.

Exactly!! That's how it was here also. Now I'm glad I didn't get married @ 18 - I would have missed out on an awful lot of fun.

talesin

elsewhere and dawn

It was the same here as well (in the 70s).

... 1st proposal, age 13, he was 27 ...

... several absolute blecchs offered by my parents ...

... one date, me 17, him 29 ...

... his best friend ...

... me at 18, he was 50 ...

okay, i left at 18, shift to ...

... 2 wks before my wedding to my now-ex 'worldly nice guy', me 22, him 32, and my cousin ....

Even recently ... but I won't get into that.

They just don't give up ... ever

talesin

Sorry, Nos

Got off-topic

There was little dating, people got married very quickly. I knew one couple, met at a DAss, 9 weeks later, married. Typical 70s. And most folks were married by age 18, at the oldest 20.

Oh, yes, and if one was say, 25, to use the example above, and unmarried, you had better be a 'pine ear' or else there was something up!

tal

eyeslice

Another example of double standards here.

On the one hand, young people are supposed to wait for maturity before they get married but on the other you can be 'mature' enough as young as 8 to get baptised. There was quite a lot of pressure on young ones to get baptised at last years District Convention!

Different youngsters have different goals and aspirations. The mistake is to try and force a 'one size fits all' approach on people.

eyeslice

gitasatsangha

I was one of those fools that got married before I turned 20. What a guy would do for a constant supply of nookie in those days. I should have been in college at the time, hell I might have made a really decent husband for my ex with a little more time and experience. Love and the invisible blessing of the Invisible Man are not enough. Oh well, at least I was ~~god~~ good in bed.

Sirius Dogma

I am nearly 30 and I don't think I have reached the age of maturity.

FirstInLine

You cannot reach maturity until you reject a bunch of morons that say you must allow them to control everything you do to ridiculous degrees.

Young People Ask: What is the age of maturity?

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