Why didn't she tell anyone?

by PopeOfEruke 10 Replies latest watchtower child-abuse

  • PopeOfEruke
    PopeOfEruke

    Over the weekend, my sister told me of some "expereriences" when she was a young girl of about 12.

    They involved the JW husband of our elder sister. She had married a "pioneer" at age 16, the husband was maybe 22 or 23. And he was a creep!. One day, this pioneer husband took the group into service, and as group leader he arranged the pairs, and he chose my sister (his new sister-in-law), the 12-year-old, as his partner. When the got inot the car, the drove off but then he said "I have left my bible back at the house". So they drove back and he said to my sister "Can you come in and help me look for it, I think I left in in one of the bedrooms". Does this sound familiar?

    So they went together back to the house and once he had her in the bedroom, he lay on the bed and said to come and lie down with him, that it was alright and no-one would know anything! My sister, only 12, told him NO and ran from the house.

    On other occasions, he put his hand between my sisters' legs while together in the car, attempted to tongue-kiss her, etc. Anyway, as it happened a few times my sister realised NEVER to go with this guy ever alone again. And it seemed the attention stopped as she grew, and as she never was alone with him anywhere.

    Now, my big question to my sister was "Why didn't you tell anyone?" So my sister said that she did eventually tell Mum, who was the JW parent. Mum may have said something to the wonderful JW son-in-law, we don't know. But this is interesting: my sister didn't want to tell Dad because she knew that Dad, who hated the JW's and especially hated the son-in-law, would KILL HIM. If you knew my Dad you also would realise that Dad would KILL him. Or he would beat him to an inch of his life. No idle talk here. Dad had been in WWI and had personally killed many many men, including some in hand-to-hand fighting. And my sister didn't want that, for whatever reason a 12-year-old girl who loved her father a lot, has.

    My elder sister is still married to the same creep. They are still JW's and are waiting for the New System. The creep's father was also a paedophile; my elder sisters first daughter got an infection "down-there" at 18 months old; they took her to the doctor who said she had been interfered with. Of course it was the grandfather, another JW. An alcoholic paedophile, who pioneered!!

    This all occurred over 40 years ago now, the grandfather pervert is long dead thank goodness. I was only a baby/child at the time so a lot of these things were before my time.....

    Funny follow-up, many years later, when Dad was probably 75 or so, the sister and JW husband were visiting and for some reason, Dad said something which upset the JW son-in-law, and he threw his glass of beer in Dads face. Well that was not a smart move. Dad was up and decked him! 1 punch and he laid this bastard out cold! Thats was so cool! Dad was 75 and this guy was like at least 30 years younger! I was so proud of my dad!

    Pope

  • Lady Lee
    Lady Lee

    Pope A while back I posted this thread

    Why don't victims tell about their abuse.

    http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/8/45869/1.ashx

    You might want to take a look at it. There are some excellent posts by others on the thread.

    I suspect some of the big ones that might apply to your sister are

    • not wanting to cause trouble in the family
    • thinking she was somehow responsible because she was there
    • fear of what her father would do

    But take a look at the thread (not meant to sabotage your thread)

  • Sassy
    Sassy

    This reminds me of my sister. When I was pregnant with our second child, my sister who was only 14 at the time came and stayed with us over the xmas holiday time off school, so that if I went into labor she could stay at the house and take care of our 1st born who was 15 mo old and also cook meals for the little one and my husband while I was in the hospital. The night that our son was born, a night which should have memorialized this loving family, my ex husband went home, fed my sister alcohol (and you know how teenagers want to experiment a little) and after she was asleep in the guest room, he crawled into bed naked and attempted to have sex with her. That is all the details I have. I do not know how far he got, although I am pretty sure intercourse did not happen, but since I already know from my own experience of my fathers friend fondling me, how traumatic for a young child it can be, so it has to be much much worse.

    She never told.. why? He threatened to killl her or ruin her if she told anyone and for 9 yrs she told no one. Months after this my sister fell apart, started drinking, and with the drinking with kids from school, had sex as well which got her dfd.. I didn't understand what changed her so quickly. The day I left my ex husband , 14 yrs after the attack, I learned the truth about what happened for the first time. My sister, even though still dfd, refuses to talk to anyone about it. I told the elders but they wouldn't do anything about it, because he denied it and she won't talk any way..

  • Nickey
    Nickey

    Kind of reminds me of myself. I didn't say anything because I wasn't sure if I would be believed. I was too scared... and I just attempted to avoid and not be alone around the person. That was my solution instead of facing it and speaking up. But I did eventually tell my mother vaguely. And as I feared, she went straight to the person and I ran and hid... being a young kid, you don't really know how to deal with situations like that. I know I didn't. The option of telling did cross my mind. But the fear of the unknown reaction is what kept me from doing so right away. I didn't want to be involved in the aftermath.

  • Double Edge
    Double Edge
    my sister didn't want to tell Dad because she knew that Dad, who hated the JW's and especially hated the son-in-law, would KILL HIM.

    After hearing what your dad did when he had beer thrown in his face, you're probably right... he would have been history. Good for your Dad.... my kind of guy..

  • A Paduan
    A Paduan

    I'd be hard pressed not to be off to my sisters for some table turnin'.

  • talesin
    talesin
    My elder sister is still married to the same creep.

    And most likely, he is still offending!!!

    {{{Pope}}} as a little girl, she had to keep silent, now she has made a big step in healing by talking to you, her brother. It must be very comforting for her to be able to finally talk to you about this.

    I urge you to go back and read LadyLee's thread on this, some really good information which may help you to understand.

    In the meantime, can anything be done about/to said bastard/child molester/bil?????

    tal

  • PopeOfEruke
    PopeOfEruke

    Well, the sister who talked to me is in her late 50's now, she is one tough lady and she is not one who is afraid to stand up for herself in any way; obviously she had decided years ago to not make an issue of the matter and has stuck with that all her life. Remember that no rape or anything like that occurred, in that way she was very lucky, as things could easily have been worse.

    What shocked me on hearing this story was that this creep had a new wife, she was 16 or 17 at the time. What attraction could a 12 year old girl possibly have, when you have a young wife anyway?? How sick is that!

    We have very little to do with the aberrant JW brother-in-law who is now nearing 70; anyway now that my sister has brought these things up into the open maybe she will confront the brother-in-law, but its long ago and obviously the guy will deny it......

    Thanks for the encouragement everybody!

    POE

  • Lady Lee
    Lady Lee

    Pope

    What attraction could a 12 year old girl possibly have, when you have a young wife anyway

    Sadly it has a lot more to do with control than anything else. Some abusers like to conquer and age doesn't seem to make much difference to them. Some have a sexual preference for younger - the younger the better they seem to think.

    What is really sad and scary is that this man has had many years to search out many other victims. Some studies have shown these pedophiles can have 30 - 70 victims before anyone reports them or they are caught. They don't change. They just keep doing it. Your sister found a way to protect herself. I pray he went no further or found other victims

    As for your sister you need to remember 40 years ago few people were talking about abuse. There were almost no books about it and certainly no support for victims like we have today My heart goes out to that young girl who felt she had to rely only on herself for protection

  • avishai
    avishai

    Man, after reading stories like this, I have to go alphabetize my shit list once again.

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