I sat down and listened intently to the timely spiritual food we were so lovingly provided with.
<snort> AAhaahahaahahh
FMZ
Passing the time at JW Assemblies
by Leolaia 66 Replies latest jw friends
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Mulan
We usually had binoculars and I would use them to find people I knew. We also took a thermos of coffee and drank it. The last convention, we knew we were leaving the WTS, so we would put in an appearance and then leave and go out to our RV in the parking lot and either read or watch TV.
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Badger
> Sister watching...Natch.
> I would create characters and adventures for my RPG that I ran. (during a talk on the dangers of D&D, no less!)
> A Whole 6-pack of Coke in ONE TALK. (Yes,I considered beer, too, but I didn't drink much as it was...)
> Imagine a hockey game at the same arena.
> count the screaming babies.
> Pray to Jehovah that I never get stuck in a car group with those experience people on stage.)
> If you have a willing person in a nearby seat (like my ex was)...give an MST3K commentary to the talk
> Make out with your girl (like my ex and I did when we were engaged)
> go to the bathroom....the one on the other side of the arena.
> Get something out of your car...and listen to a few songs, the news and a couple of innings while you're there.
> Stare with at an attendant with the evil eye...for at least 10 minutes...and make sure you've made multiple contact with him
> Count how many ways the speaker has probably ignored the counsel in his own talk.
> Find an attendant you could probably kick the ass of.
> See a hideous couple and their child...and imagine the conception.
> Write down a list of every sister you'd want to sleep with (couple of hours)...
> ...Eliminate the Impossibilities ( almost as long)...
> ...Look at the remaining ones...
> ...and write up a plan of action to make it happen.
> Try to imagine what the speaker must sound like to his home congregation...every week...over and over...
> Guess whether or not the speaker is a complete asshole or not.
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Nosferatu
Oooh! Passing time at assemblies! Actually, I hardly remember what I would do as a kid. When I became a teenager, I did the following:
Look at all the hotties
Listen to music inside my head
Plan what I was going to do after the convention
Plan what I was going to do with my worldly girlfriend after the convention
Imagine myself running around on the support beams in the ceiling and swinging on the light fixtures
Pick at the black stuff on the wall (when I was sitting in the bleachers)
Watch flies land on people
Sing "99 bottles of beer on the wall" in my head
Chew gum
Play with the dozens of foil balls I had accumulated from chewing gum
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Jahna
Humm lets relive the last few assemblies I attended. Got three kids dressed and out the door, feeding the baby several times before we got into the car. Stood in line at the doors in the wee hours so we could get decent seats with three kids, baby in arms with book bag, diaper bag and small ( to fit under the seats cooler) in tow. Two kids are beginning to whine now because of the heat and humidly at 8 am.
Find seats, they are pretty good, only 15 rows from the top of the stair, (no seat saving going on here) will make my day be that much better as I get up a half of a billion times. Walk around now to kill time with two kids in tow and baby in arms. Sit down tired, feet sore and whining kids, waiting to sit and listen (for a change) to all the spiritual food. Have pencils, paper, and my book of bible stories ready for the older two, and hopefully the baby will sleep (in my lap) so I can take notes.
By 10:30, I have been up three times now, the baby needed to be fed, diapers changed, got back to seat and the 4 year old needed to go to the wash room. Finally getting a chance to sit down for a moment. Baby begins to whine and being given ?those? looks, so up again to the corridor going to walk the baby to sleep and get even more nasty looks from the attendants.
By lunch I have walked the halls, spent two hours in a smelly men?s room (nursing mothers room) and counted how many urinals there are for the guys compared to stalls for the girls. Visited the ladies room twice, once for my daughter and once for my son. During lunch argued with my ex on ?not sitting at your seat and paying attention? as he expects me to do, all the while trying to feed my kids ?wholesome? sandwiches in tiny seats without getting messy or spilling drinks because the sticky floor is where they will sleep, I hope this afternoon. Half of the day gone and I am ready to cry because I am tired and the two kids are bouncing around their seats, time to take them for a walk around a packed auditorium filled with masses of humanity.
After lunch one child goes to sleep, not the baby, he needs fed again, by the time I get back number 1 needs to ?go potty mom? dirty look to husband gets no where. Finally sit down baby spits up over everything, and number 2 is crying. Back to the mens room with other tired moms, our wilted hair and running make up speaks volumes about our day. Gee a wonderful spiritually delightful afternoon. We all try to make light of it as we all strain to hear the echoing voice of the speaker, over the sound system (term used loosely) the brothers thoughtfully installed for us. They obviously never thought about flushing toilets, crying/screaming kids or anything else, as no one could hear a thing, but we all pretend to.
By the time the final song comes around, I am ready to run, far far away, but lucky me, I have two more days to go. I argue yet again with ex over ?not sitting at your seats? or helping out with the children. I say to myself, boy aren?t we blessed it was a good assembly isn't it. Tomorrow will be better, and I will finally get to listen to that wholesome spiritual feast I say to myself. Or will I?
Jahna -
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simon17
For about two years before I left I would only go for lunch. It was actually hilarious and ridiculous looking back on it.
I'd get dressed up in a suit, leave my house and drive 1:30 and get there right as the morning program was ending. I'd get a program and come up with some random comment about one of the talk titles to use. Something like "yeah the symposium on xxxxxx was really timely." Then I'd make my rounds, seeing everyone so they thought I was there. The only other question I had to commonly field was "where are you sitting" to which I'd always say "oh yeah, off on the other side" lol. Everyone was speaking so automatically they didn't even notice how ridiculous an answer that was! Then I'd drive 1:30 home.