More KM convention instruction gems! (KM Feb 04)

by ozziepost 56 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  Badger

  I'm thinking about going to the convention just so I CAN break a bunch of these rules...

  what's more, next year's KM will have a few more rules added to it, if I'm impessive enough...

  1. Brothers should use the bathroom facilities, not the catwalk over the convention arena.

  2. Delegates should not shout "Hit 'em with the chair!" during a Drama

  3. Sisters should not render their marital due in the parking lot

  4. Especially in a convertible

  5. Ties are acceptable and proper dress for brothers. They should not have unchristian slogans like "Time for the WT to N-GO!" or "Freeminds and their ass will follow!"

  6. Children should not exhale loudy and say discouraging things like "This is boring...I wanna go to Six Flags!"

  7. Beach Balls should not be brought into the arena.

  8. Or batted about the seated delegates.

  9. No shirt, no shoes, no service.

  10. Brothers contributing to the Society should drop their contributions in the denoted box, not in a Sister's stockings.

  11. Radios should not be thrown into the baptismal pool.

  12. Delegates who stay to help clean should not use brooms and a crushed soda can to recreate the 1986 Stanley Cup Finals.

  13. lighting a lighter is not an apropriate expression of worship during a song.

  14. Prayers should not glorify Jehovah's name, but rather the Society. Christ actually said..."May the Watchtower be sanctified."

  15. Do not attempt to start The Wave.

  16. Or chant "NGO! NGO!"

  17. Please sing the song announced by the Chairman, not a worldly song like "Highway to Hell" or a parody like "From Spouse to Spouse, From Whore to Whore."
• 

  Vivamus

  2. Delegates should not shout "Hit 'em with the chair!" during a Drama

  13. lighting a lighter is not an apropriate expression of worship during a song.

  15. Do not attempt to start The Wave.

  16. Or chant "NGO! NGO!"

  17. Please sing the song announced by the Chairman, not a worldly song like "Highway to Hell" or a parody like "From Spouse to Spouse, From Whore to Whore."

  LMAOROF. Oh my God! Tears are streaming from my eyes. LOL
• 

  Badger

  Crying...I have that effect on women....

  Making BBG laugh...my day is made....
• 

  got my forty homey?

  Do the district conventions still have drama's or was this last vestige of pleasure elimated also?

  I remember as a boy there were two or three drama's in a convention, then it was wittled down to one.
• 

  blondie

  Homey, there is still one drama late Sunday morning, followed by a 1/2 hour talk 'splaining what it meant to the audience. The costumes and props get more simple every year. The dramas are now available on video having been staged at Bethel, Patterson perhaps. The day may come when a videotape is made and shown on large screens at the convention facilities. Just think all the time those in the drama can spend in the ministry instead!

  Blondie (who remembers 4 drama conventions)
• 

  got my forty homey?

  It was something that young ones, even those that were half hearted enjoyed. I remember one that had a explosion of smoke, I think it was about Lots wife, or something that Jehovah blew up. Then they would have a modern day drama which were nice, usually about youth's living double live's or stealing from the magazine counter fund. The music was nice while the players walked to change scene's and hide in the tent, it was like a Stanley Kubrick production!
• 

  heathen

  Sunspot--- The way the WTBTS does things is a joke . I like what badger had to say . Eventually they will be announcing , no masturbating in the mens bathroom , no throwing footballs outside , no practicing fishing or golf swings , no sun bathing ......... I guess this list could go on forever.
• 

  cyber-sista

  Well, I guess what can we expect from a group that says no independent thinking allowed--that just about cover every action...

  Well, you know it's about time they make some rules about yawning--I'm actually surprised this one hasn't been covered!- In true WT fashion it could read something like this:

  It has been observed that some at the assemblies have been observed yawning, especially during the late afternoon sessions. While yawning may be concidered natural and acceptable in some situations, you would not want to convey the message to others that you have grown uninterested in the spiritual food that has been so lovingly prepared for you. This could perhaps stumble some who are newly interested or weak in their faith. It has also been noted that yawning is contagious, therefore our yawning could influence others to do the same perhaps eventually leading some to some dozing off at a time when vital information is being dispensed that could lead to their salvation. Thus your yawing in effect could cause you to become bloodguilty....

  and on and on and on....are you yawning yet?
• 

  ozziepost

  Yawning? Actually I seem to recall that it was covered one year!!!!!!!

  YYYYYYYY AAAAAA WWWWWWWW NNNNNNNNNNN
• 

  cyber-sista

  Yyyyy aaaaaa wwwwww nnnnnnnnnn...

  maybe it was covered one year and that is why it seemed so familiar to me...yawn....maybe i was dozing and missed that part...